Apropos of nothing. There are a lot of cheesy songs out there, but these provoke a strong reaction from me.
1. We Built This City by Starship
Poll after poll says this is the worst song of the Eighties. There's a reason.
2. I've Never Been to Me by Charlene
Utter dreck by a failed Blossom Dearie. You are not a destination; you are the journey. There's your pop psychology.
3. Mickey by Tony Basil
4. Hey Jude by The Beatles
I love The Beatles, but this song is too fucking long.
5. The Girl is Mine by Jackson and McCartney
I have a story about this one: I was visiting a friend in the dorms at OSU. The guy across the hall played this song six times in a row. When he started the seventh repetition, my friend loaded up some bagpipe music and turned the volume to eleven. Bagpipes FTW.
6. Never Be the Same by Christopher Cross
"It was good for me, it was good for you" is not a good description for a relationship that had any meaning.
7. Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham
I love George Michael... but, gaaaahhhh.
8. Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice
Stole a riff from Queen and Bowie and denied he'd done it. I hate him for making me turn up the radio only to be disappointed.
9. Sara by Fleetwood Mac
I hate 90% of songs with my name in them. When it's sung by a voice that's always flat, it's going to be 100%. I don't care how much lace you wear.
10. Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears
Sorry, this pair always struck me as pretentious entitled pricks. Instant change of channel.
If you have a song you loathe, feel free to post it in the comments. I've probably heard it.