The Sinister Scribblings of Sarah E. Glenn

Guest Post: Sinister Characters by Lois Winston

2012-01-27T01:00:00.001-05:00

Sinister Characters
by Lois Winston

What better place to talk about sinister characters than a blog titled, The Sinister Scribblings of Sarah E. Glenn? Thank you, Sarah, for inviting me to guest blog here today during my month-long blog tour for the release of Death By Killer Mop Doll, the second book in my Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mysteries series.

I’ve been told that I write villains readers love to hate. Most readers love heroes and heroines because they yearn to associate with the good guys. They want to see good triumph over evil. They want the vicarious thrill of a happily-ever-ending. Little girls want to grow up to be princesses. Little boys want to grow up to be Luke Skywalker. No one wants to grow up to be Cruella deVille or Darth Vader.

Yet, we remain fascinated by villains. They often drive the story with their complex natures. Why would someone do such evil things? We want to know what drives these madmen and women to commit the crimes they do. Who wasn’t totally intrigued by Voldemort’s back-story? Or Darth Vader’s?

However, too often authors succumb to writing stereotypical villains. Even the most vile of vile villains has to have a reason for his vileness. Snidely Whiplash is one-dimensional. We want to read about 3-dimensional characters, and that’s not limited just to the protagonists of a story. Villains count. They drive plots forward. Without them, we have no conflict.

Who are some of your favorite fictional villains? Post a comment, and you could win one of five signed copies of Death By Killer Mop Doll I’m giving away as part of my January blog tour. The full tour schedule can be found at my website, http://www.loiswinston.com, and the Killer Crafts and Crafty Killers blog, http://www.anastasiapollack.blogspot.com. In addition, I’m giving away 3 copies of Death By Killer Mop Doll on Goodreads, http://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/15173-death-by-killer-mop-doll

Bio: Lois Winston is the author of the critically acclaimed Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mysteries published by Midnight Ink. Assault With a Deadly Glue Gun, the first book in the series, received starred reviews from Publishers Weekly and Booklist and was recently nominated for a Readers Choice Award by the Salt Lake City Library System. The new year brings with it the release of Death By Killer Mop Doll, the second book in the series.

Read an excerpt at http://www.loiswinston.com/excerptap2.html.

If you're considering starting at the beginning of the series, a good review of Lois' first novel appears on Kevin Tipple's blog.

Visit Lois at her website: http://www.loiswinston.com and Anastasia at the Killer Crafts and Crafty Killers blog: http://www.anastasiapollack.blogspot.com. You can also follow Lois and Anastasia on Twitter @anasleuth.

Friday: Lois Winston and Important Papers

2012-01-23T11:38:00.004-05:00

Friday, January 27th, we’re having a special guest on the blog: Lois Winston, the author of Assault With a Deadly Glue Gun and Death By Killer Mop Doll, will let us know about her favorite sinister characters. She’s also going to be giving away some signed copies of the just-released Death By Killer Mop Doll to people who comment on her posts, so pay extra attention this week! Giveaways are rare in this economy, and even rarer on this blog.

Hmmm… favorite sinister characters. My least favorite sinister characters always seem to be running for office. Lois will only be talking about the fun ones on the 27th.

For a good review of Lois' first novel, check out Kevin Tipple's review of Assault With a Deadly Glue Gun.

In other news: because my office is under the aegis of UK HealthCare, we have to fulfill the same requirements of all HealthCare employees, even though we don’t see patients and aren’t even located in one of the clinic buildings. This includes annual training on the safe handling of air tanks and recognizing signs of elder abuse. On Friday, I get to have a mandatory interview with Employee Health. I’ve been told to bring my most recent vaccination papers to the appointment. I’m wondering what they’re going to do with me: the last time I needed vaccination papers was when I was in the Fayette County Public Schools, which I graduated from in 1980. They were in the custody of my parents, and after several moves, including one overseas, I doubt that they still have them or even dreamed that they might be needed one day.

What makes me feel even older? My last tetanus shot was received ‘around the turn of the century’, which I associate with 1901, not 2001.

The proper term for the appointment, IMO, is ‘interview’ rather than ‘checkup’ because the co-workers who’ve gone through it tell me that there is no examination involved. If they think I’ll be applying for sick time to cover my time out of the office, they’re in for some kicking; it’s a condition of employment, and planning to be sick is also called malingering.

See everyone on Friday!
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Review: Defending Jacob

2011-12-27T21:30:00.002-05:00

Defending Jacob by William Landay

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

In this legal thriller, assistant district attorney Andy Barber's comfortable and respectable life comes to a screeching halt when his fourteen-year-old son, Jacob, is charged with murdering one of his classmates. Andy is suspended from his position so he cannot unduly influence or garner information from the people he has worked with for years, cutting him off from the natural resources he needs to defend his son from the charges. Instead, he finds himself on the other side of the courtroom watching his greatest professional rival do what he can to put Jacob away for good. As part of the defense, Andy is forced to confront the dirty secrets of his own past, which he has never revealed to his co-workers, his son, or even his wife.

I normally don't read novels this length (421-page Advance Reader's Edition) unless I already know the author or the story itself grabs and holds my interest. Defending Jacob falls into the latter category. The description I gave above could easily be the trailer of a Lifetime drama, but this novel rises above a maudlin TV drama for several reasons. The disintegration of family trust is not a surprise, nor is it a shock to the reader when friends, neighbors, and co-workers turn against the family. What the reader doesn't get, though, is a reassurance that Jacob is innocent. Too many secrets aspects of the teen's life are revealed during the investigation: we learn that Jacob has a dark side. Bad decisions made by both the boy and his father (who knows better, but cannot help himself) also make proving innocence -or guilt- very difficult.

We also learn that Andy comes from a long line of violent criminals in which he appears to be the (only?) exception. He has spent his entire adult life keeping his heritage a huge blank spot, even to himself. Naturally, his family background comes out during the investigation. When the trial outcome appears darkest, the defense attorney tests Jacob for a specific genetic predisposition to violence that could mitigate his sentence. Andy is forced to visit his own father, Bloody Bill Barber, in prison to beg a DNA sample for corroboration. The relationship they begin to develop isn't pleasant, but it is interesting.

The ending has more than one twist. There is a certain point at which the reader may feel cheated, but stay tuned: the other shoe just hasn't dropped yet. Throughout the book, we read testimony that Andy is giving at a trial. It isn't until the end that we discover whose trial it is.

Spoiler alert:
A great amount of emotional focus revolves around the question of whether the Barber men are born killers or not. My problem with the genetic condition Landay employs (a real one) is that the trait is sex-linked to the X chromosome - the one chromosome men do not pass down to their sons. The novel specifically states that the allele is located on the X chromosome, which immediately jarred me out of the plotline and onto Google. Most people who read this sort of novel have taken enough biology to say "Couldn't Jacob only get that gene from his mother? Why aren't they testing her family, too?" Since my copy of the novel is an ARC, I am hoping some editor has already spotted and solved this problem.

Overall, Defending Jacob is an engrossing read. It is well-written, outside of the genetics issue. Andy's willful belief in his son's innocence and the desperate acts he commits to shield his son drive this story, and kept me turning pages till I reached its open-ended conclusion.

View all my reviews

Review: The Cradle in the Grave

2011-12-17T23:10:00.002-05:00

The Cradle in the Grave by Sophie Hannah

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

From my understanding, this is the ARC of A Room Swept White, book 5 of the Spilling CID series. I have not read the 'final' print, so all comments pertain to this version of the novel.

I have noticed that many British authors fall into what I refer to as the Jane Austen Syndrome: it takes about 200+ pages before anything really interesting happens, although when it does it's damned interesting. P.D. James had the same problem in The Private Patient. This doesn't mean it's written badly, just not in the style an impatient American with Aries rising normally appreciates.

Fortunately, this was offset by the 'documentary' presentation of the original crimes and interviews with the women convicted of the child murders. I love true crime and reading the 'paperwork' involved, so this provided me with an early source of satisfaction that carried me until the heroine became interesting, too.

I was not at all sold on the relationship between Fliss and Natrass. Oh, I can believe he was a jerk, but I really don't understand how her ('her' being Fliss) attraction to Natrass particularly enhanced the storyline. I found Simon's dogged determination to hate his boss much more compelling. His outrage and mixed feelings upon finding himself on the same 'side' as his detested supervisor were very human and understandable.

Each of the bodies is found with a list of sixteen digits - four rows by four columns. When the solution to that clue came, I found it surprising and satisfactory.

Overall, I enjoyed the book, but think it might have been better without the viewpoint of Fliss Benson at all. Perhaps, if they had revealed certain aspects of her background earlier, I would not feel that way. I have read that the final version was a superior manuscript. I hope so.

View all my reviews

Horror for the Holidays

2011-12-07T09:27:00.002-05:00

I had a very pleasant surprise yesterday: a story I expected to come out in 2012 is available now! Horror Carnival is a collection of several vile stories by experienced horror and pulp authors. Some of the notables include Matt Kurtz (who was also in The Big Book of New Short Horror), David James Keaton (of Plots with Guns fame), and, of course, prolific editor and author Anthony Giangregorio.

I need to update my Web page and my store on Second Life with this and other items. By the way, my wife, Gwen Mayo, has a store on Amazon. All of our stories are on there, plus others by people like Marian Allen, Bertena Varney, Amy Mah, Lori Lake, Patty Henderson, and Jeanine Hoffman. The music section is an eclectic mix of things from the Rat Pack to Ke$ha. Just a little nepotism for the holidays, folks...

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Decompression

2011-12-03T18:13:00.000-05:00

The 2011 book tour is over, and NaNoWriMo is over as well. Finally, I get to come out of crazy writer mode - just in time to make the shift into crazy holiday mode. If I find the time between now and January, I might be able to do some book reviews. The great thing about attending Bouchercon is the number of free books and review copies the attendees receive. I have several interesting ARCs in the island of paper products surrounding my end of the couch.

Oh, yeah, I might want to sort that pile out. Right now, our living room looks like a ransacked library. Let's not discuss what the kitchen looks like.

But the first fun thing I'm getting to read is from my wife, Gwen Mayo. She's almost finished with the sequel to Circle of Dishonor. Guess who has the first 55K words of that sequel on a memory stick jacked into her laptop? You got it. I'm the person who sees her stuff before the beta readers. I guess that makes me the alpha reader.

Anyhoo: Sorry for the breaks between posts. I have been waaaayyy too active this year.

Oh, the Places I Went...

2011-11-02T17:03:00.000-04:00

Gwen Mayo and I at Magna cum Murder. As always, it was a blast!

It's been a loooong time since I posted here. Honestly? Between traveling every weekend and trying to get regular and special errands done during the week, it's been hard to find the time.

What are 'special' errands, you ask? The most special one dealt with my late grandmother's Toyota. The cost of repairs finally outweighed the cost of replacing it, so we replaced it. I hated giving the Corolla up - it was Granny's, after all - but it was a twenty-year-old car.

On my father's recommendation, we bought a used Scion. This vehicle resembles a small milk truck and would definitely fit into the list of ugly cars the Reverend W. Robert Merrimon drove in All This and Family,Too. It carries lots of books, though, has a working defroster for the back window, and, most importantly, has brakes.

Bess the Bookmobile.

October is best defined as Before Granny's Car Died and After Granny's Car Died.

BGCD: We spent the first weekend delivering political yard signs. The second weekend, we traveled to Louisville to join our Sisters in Crime for a Ghost Tour of Old Louisville. A lovely trip, but it was on the way home that the brake light first came on. Sunday was spent delivering more yard signs and pouring brake fluid into the car.

AGCD: We did a signing at That Book Place, located in Madison, IN, on the 15th. Marian Allen did a lovely interview with us as part of promotion. The following weekend was the Halloween Expo at National College in Lexington. We didn't attend the masquerade ball after the Expo because we ran off to hear Cris Williamson sing at Natasha's. The final weekend of the month was spent in Muncie, Indiana at Magna cum Murder. Overall, we've been giving the new vehicle a baptism by car trips.

The final event before the holidays strike -er- arrive is the Kentucky Book Fair. That'll be in Frankfort on November 12th. Please drop by and say hello!

Halloween Releases

2011-09-24T17:04:00.000-04:00

Gotta love the Cthulhu on the cover!

I have two new short stories out in time for Halloween, both in Pill Hill Press anthologies. The Big Book of New Short Horror has 58 (!) horror stories, many of them by excellent authors like Mark Souza and Deb Eskie.

My own story in the collection, "Patch Test", involves a horrific application of nanomedicine. It is one of the unfunniest stories I've ever written and is possibly (due to subject matter) the most controversial one as well.

Nothing cutesy about these stories!

Halloween Frights, Volume I, is Pill Hill's offering for the holiday. It contains thirteen scary stories, including another one by Mark Souza and one by my spouse, Gwen Mayo.

My own story, "Fire Insurance, Inc." takes place in a Hell House. For the uninitiated, this is a house of horrors set up by fundamentalist Christians to show teenagers where they could wind up if they make the 'wrong' choices. My question: what happens if Hell horns in on the action?

Both collections are very reasonably priced for Kindle, and, naturally, I encourage you to check them out. Print versions should be available soon.

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Second Life: Odd Women's Bookstore

2011-09-11T00:17:00.000-04:00

The ground floor of our store.

If you've been following me on FaceBook or Twitter, you know that I've been on Second Life since I was introduced to it at AuthorFest in April. Gwen Mayo and I took the plunge shortly thereafter and opened a virtual store on Book Island. We learned how to form posters of our books and link them to Amazon so people could read more and (we hoped) purchase them.

Gwen and I as SL shopkeepers.

At first, we just carried our own novels and the anthologies our stories appear in. We also linked to a couple of singleton short stories that you can download directly to Kindle. Even so, we hoped to carry works by other people, preferably authors we knew personally.

The first new author we added was Marian Allen. She is a member of the Southern Indiana Writers' Group and her stories defy categorization. Her newest novel, on display at our store, is Force of Habit.

The second author we added was Bertena Varney. Her book, Lure of the Vampire, is a nonfiction look at the vampire in folklore and popular culture.

Our newest author is T. Lee Harris. She also belongs to the Southern Indiana Writers' Group, and is both author and editor. We have two of her crime stories on display now.

At the rate we're going, we'll fill up that second floor soon enough.

Review: SNAP: The World Unfolds

2011-08-24T18:21:00.001-04:00

SNAP: The World Unfolds by Michele Drier

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

SNAP: The World Unfolds
by Michele Drier

Maxmillia Gwenoch, aka Maxie, is the new managing editor of SNAP. After years of working in women's magazines, she's finally reached the top. SNAP is the name of a conglomeration of print magazine (with editions in five languages), blog, and television publications dedicated to celebrities. Maxie works out of the office in LA, but makes regular trips to Miami, Rio, and other glam locations to rub shoulders with The Beautiful People. She's being paid a remarkable amount of money for the job, more than she ever thought she'd make. She has a condo and a chauffeur. Finally: she has an assistant, Jazz, whom I would kill to have on my payroll (if I could afford her rate). The woman is wonderful: she arranges for Maxie’s furniture to be unpacked while she’s on the road, and dispatches personal shoppers to acquire suitable clothing in her boss’ size when Maxie is invited to the castle of SNAP’s owner. Did I mention that SNAP was owned by a Hungarian baron?

Then there’s Jean-Louis, the art director. He’s frightfully handsome, and interested in Maxie, but our heroine’s mother always advised her never to get involved with someone prettier than she was. Still...

With these blessings come problems. There’s the blood on the bathroom floor. There’s the unexplained quasi-hospital setup on one of the floors in her office building. Then, there’s the sudden attacks on Maxie. Someone is trying to kidnap her!

She discovers that the Baron Kandesky and his family are vampires, and Carlos the Chauffeur is a demon who’s been engaged to protect her. That part is really cool, except for the Huszars, the vampires next door. They’ve been feuding with the Kandeskys for centuries, and they’ve teamed up with the local werewolves and wild boars. Yes, as in feral pigs.

The Huszars would like to replace the Kandeskys as the vampire source of celebrity gossip. Along with smashing them into the dirt, of course. And they want Maxie… because good help is hard to find.

This novella is a fast, fun read. I usually find the ‘life of the celebrity’ a turn-off, but it was very enjoyable here, seen through the eyes of a reporter who has to live part of what she’s been writing about all these years. Maxie is a go-getter who doesn’t give up when faced with challenges she has no preparation for. Plus, the notion that the Huszars want her for her skills is a twist I rarely see in romantic suspense. My only complaint is that the story is too short: it’s an origin story for a series character. Good news, though: the sequel is due out in 2012.

View all my reviews

This Friday: North Carolina!

2011-08-17T23:43:00.000-04:00

This Friday, I will be joining four Sisters in Crime in North Carolina to promote Fish Tales: The Guppy Anthology. Karen Pullen, Patricia Winton, Heidi Saunders and I will team up with the legendary Chris Roerden (author of the classic Don't Murder Your Mystery) to do readings and sign the anthology.

We will be at McIntyre's Books at 2 PM. The store is located at Fearrington Village in Pittsboro.

At 7:30, we will be signing at Quail Ridge Books and Music in Raleigh.

Heidi Saunders and I will be driving down together, since we are both from Kentucky and belong to the same chapter of Sisters in Crime. Considering how many submissions Fish Tales had, I consider it a coup for our group that two of us were selected.

If you're in the Raleigh area, we'd love to have you drop by!

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Giveaway: Fish Tales

2011-08-03T09:37:00.000-04:00

Looking to win a free copy of Fish Tales? Check out the giveaway on Goodreads! Hurry, though: the giveaway ends on August 14th.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Fish Tales

by Ramona DeFelice Long

Giveaway ends August 14, 2011.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter to win

Review: The Hunt by Linell Jeppsen

2011-07-30T14:01:00.000-04:00

This novel is described on Amazon as a story where two vampire factions clash in the Washington State woods during the height of deer season. When I read this, I thought: "Lunchtime!" Ancient creatures meet tourists? It worked for Jurassic Park...

If you are hoping for a major bloodbath, however, you will be disappointed. Two ancient foes do meet in a final conflict that has consequences for the humans who are unfortunate enough to be in the way. Outside of a few well-described deaths, though, the main focus is on the life and relationships of Raphael Goldhawk, half-breed and eventual king of the high vampire council.

In the world Jeppsen creates, vampires are a different, older species than humans. They resemble angels in many ways: they're winged, they have an alien beauty, and most of them have Biblical names (Gabriel, David, Lael). The race has become infertile over the centuries, so their hope of continuation rests with Raphael and his offspring. Raul (non-Biblical name) is the villain of the piece. To Raul and his followers, humans are food and Raphael has no business hanging around with real vampires. This leads to a series of conflicts that resulted in the death of Raphael's wife and a duel between the two vampires two hundred years ago. Raphael spares Raul's life, to his regret.

Jeppsen writes reasonably well, but the novel has serious structural problems. The story begins with the viewpoint of the humans, set in the here and now, but the overwhelming majority of the book is background, telling us the saga of Raphael Goldhawk. I found myself wondering when we were going to return to the present time and rejoin the main storyline. To me, it seems that the story of Raphael was the main storyline and should have been presented as such.

That said, I think that Linell Jeppsen is, overall, a promising writer. She went to the trouble of researching the things she could research for her story and sought out input from others (whom she acknowledges in her introduction). Her human characters are markedly different from her vampires in the way they think, speak, and their background descriptions. The joining of Raphael and Melissa, for example, is much more mythic and dramatic than the 'real folks' relationship of Holly and Brian. The characters of Raphael and his family are compelling enough to follow, despite my comments on the overall novel structure.

About the Author
Linell Jeppsen is a retired grocery store checker and high school custodian. She has been writing her entire life, but was recently chosen by Phyllis Scott Publishing for her novel, The Hunt.
She had previously won third place in a science fiction short story contest for "The Gag Gift", which is featured in Mixed Blessing and other Short Stories and The Last Astronaut.
Linell is now hard at work on her second novel, titled Story Time. It is a science-fiction, post-apocalyptic novel, which is due to be released this fall.
For more information about Linell and her work, please visit:
• www.linelljeppsen.com

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The Vrykolakas: Another Type of Vampire

2011-07-28T17:33:00.000-04:00

Vampire Awareness Month (mostly being hosted by Amy Mah) is a good time to talk about an often-overlooked Greek variant of the species: the vrykolakas.

One of the traditional Greek curses was "May the earth not receive you!" This was the case with the vrykolakas (plural vrykolakes). Instead of decaying in the grave, the flesh swells up and take on a 'drum-like' texture (this is the term all my references use).

The vrykolakas is a little different from the 'regular' vampire in that you rarely read about one drinking blood. They prefer milk, lots of it, fresh from the goat. Although the vrykolakas is classified as a vampire, I could see where a comparisons to the zombie could also be made. Vrykolakes are fairly ugly, and property damage, disease spreading, and rending people seem to be their preferred activities.

A person can become a vrykolakas after death by being very wicked in life or by being excommunicated from the Greek Orthodox Church (according to John Cuthbert Lawson, the Church alternately boasted and disavowed this claim). Eating meat previously gnawed on by a wolf/werewolf put you at risk (the werewolf in life/vampire in death trope). Violating various taboos or being cursed by a parent were also potential causes, as was having your baptism screwed up (back to the priests again).

Lawson claimed that Greeks could tell which way a vrykolakas came into being by a using handy color-code system from the Church of St. Sophia at Thessalonica, reproduced here:

He who has left a command of his parents unfulfilled or is under their curse has only the front portions of his body preserved.
He who is under an anathema looks yellow and his fingers are wrinkled.
He who looks white has been excommunicated by divine laws.
He who looks black has been excommunicated by a bishop.
(Lawson, 370)

Wouldn't that make a good flash card for a monster-hunter?

Another part of the vrykolakas legend: if a vrykolakas knocked on the door and called your name, you must not answer. To answer meant that you would be dead within days (by sometimes unspecified means, although sitting on the chest of a sleeping victim was one method) and become one of the creatures yourself. However, unlike the postman, the vrykolakas would only call once, so it was a custom for Greeks to wait till they heard their name a second time before answering.

The island of Santorini, also known as Thera, was specifically known as a hotbed for vrykolakes. Simply Santorini's Greek Superstitions page claims that it was "known as the 'Island of the Vampires'", but no one seemed to know about them the one time I was privileged to visit the island. Both Lawson and the Superstitions page agree that Greeks on surrounding islands would bring the bodies of suspected vrykolakes to Santorini because experts in destroying the creatures resided there.

When I decided to write a story with a "Greek vampire", I set it on Santorini and introduced one such expert. Check it out on Amazon if you're interested.

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Celebrity Roast

2011-07-27T17:19:00.001-04:00

I think this is the best term for this past weekend. Memorabilia dealers, film professionals, gaming stores, and authors (mostly better known than me) set up shop during FandomFest Weekend in Louisville. Many celebrities, including John Carpenter, were featured guests of the convention. The program was great, but the hotel hosting the event shot itself in the foot. Their AC wasn't working during a time when the temperature outside was hitting 100 degrees.

Gwen and I were there representing Pill Hill Press, and dutifully baked away. Fortunately, we'd packed a cooler with water and Code Red, which was drained of all fluids by the end of the con. I suppose we could have sold drinks to the attendees and made a small fortune, but we selfishly valued our health above our bottom line. The first day was really the worst: we'd come directly from work and still had our work clothes on. The next two days, we wore shorts and tees. We'd packed nice clothes, but nice clothes were too hot. And hey, my Sandman tee was a big hit!

We weren't staying onsite, which was a splendid decision. We kept our room at the Holiday Inn set to 69 degrees and flopped on the bed every evening, feeling the heat leave us in waves.

The good part: the other writers. Gwen and I both attended - and sat in on - some wonderful panels. Gwen led a workshop on writing historical fiction, and she was also featured on panels for shopping your first novel and the mistakes beginning novelists make. I sat on the panels for paranormal novels and fan fiction, where I discovered that my first fanfic efforts probably began with The Black Stallion. I'd only traced my roots back to Betty and Veronica because I was thinking of human fanfic. Gwen and I both sat on the mystery panel, which was also great fun.

The other good part: the books. We were surrounded by book dealers. Oh, how I love books... I spent more money than we made, I assure you. The best selling items we had were our chapbooks of Gwen's Civil War short story and my horror story set in the Greek Isles. Overwhelmingly, however, the item passersby were most interested in was the postcard for zombie anthology Gone With The Dirt. I seriously think PHP might want to consider selling the cover design as posters or on T-shirts.

Many thanks must go to Stephen Zimmer for creating such an enjoyable literary track. He also spent most of his time trying to make life easier on us, rather than peddling his own books. I recommend that you go to Seventh Star Press and buy some of them to make up for his sacrifice.

Vampire Awareness Month: Blood+ by Stavros

2011-07-18T00:04:00.000-04:00

Blood Plus follows the supernatural exploits of a seemingly ordinary school girl, who just so happens to be a vampire, that hunts down and destroys Chiropterans. Chiropterans are bat-like, werewolf creatures that feed on human blood, and Saya Otonashi is the only one who can kill them. With merely faint allusions to the sensational 2000 anime movie, Blood - The Last Vampire, this half-hour anime television show isn’t a continuation of that story, but rather a full re-imagining. The name of the main character, Saya, remains the same and she hunts down these vicious metamorphosing killers, but there really is very little that would make anyone believe that she is a vampire…or that the show is a spin off from the noir horror classic.

To be fair to the show, I can not compare them. It would be like discerning the likes and dislikes of apples and oranges. Blood+ isn’t bad. It’s rather awesome actually, but I want all die-hard fans of the anime movie to know up front and personal-like that the TV show is not like the movie…at all.

In this re-imaging Saya is an adopted teenager living with amnesia. Her adopted brothers Kai and Riku, and the faithful, cello-totting chevalier, Haji, aid her on her quests to make the world a safer place for a powerful organization known as Red Shield. Armed with her Katana, Saya must sacrifice her own blood onto the blade before it will kill the rancid beasts. Like any good anime the fight scenes are incredible, graphic, and taught with tension as Saya journeys to rediscover who and what she is.

My only beef with the show is that Saya was born in1833 and during the Vietnam War she entered a hypnotic blood trance and killed not only Chiropterans, but humans alike, thus starting her amnesic spell, and since then hasn’t aged. Okay, I get the part where it's cool to see a cutely drawn character in a school uniform kicking ass, but she’s been a teenager for well over a hundred and sixty years. Kinda smacks a little on the perverted Twilight side, if you ask me. But if you can get past the logistics of her age and the fact that she’s been in high school longer than Edward, then you are going to get involved in a great show.

Blood+ is rich with drama, emotional strain, and endearing characters. It may not slip easily into the vampire genre, as Saya doesn’t conform to the traditional trappings of being nocturnal, having fangs, or needing to drink blood on a regular basis, it does, however, posses its own mythology. Though the show is geared more toward a younger audience, don’t let that put you off. Good anime is hard to find, and Blood+ delivers the goods. Available on Netflix and Hulu, all four seasons of Blood+ are bound into two self-contained parts, ready for streaming or home delivery.

Written by Stavros

www.bitemereallyhard.com

Stavros was a writer and editor for The Independent Underground Magazine. Raised in Southern Maryland, he fled the Chesapeake Bay area as soon as he was able, only to return, after spending years in the desert. His poetic works have been published in several online and print publications, including Central Avenue, The Sword That Cuts Through Stone, The Mynd, Imagine: Creative Arts Journal, and Bartleby, where he won a specialty award for his poem, "Blackbird".

He is a photographer and graphic designer; a musician, who has been writing and performing music his whole life. Stavros is the author of Blood Junky. He is currently penning the book’s upcoming sequels, as well as writing scripts for web-serials, independent films, and creating fascinating and original art.

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Vampire Awareness Month: Blade the Series as viewed by Amy Mah (Vampire)

2011-07-13T00:15:00.001-04:00

Amy Mah, author of Fangs Rule: a Girls Guide to Being a Vampire, is a new and very funny author who writes and blogs about life as a modern teenage vampire trying to put up with both humans and fellow vampires. The author Amy has been transformed into a manga character and her real image has been changed into the wonderful images you will see in her books and this is all anyone has seen of what she looks like in real life. This may sound strange, but then all you see of A-list celebrities are Photoshopped pics in magazines.

We are not saying she is really is a vampire, but it is just very hard to take her photo, and sometimes she bites people.

Her book, Fangs Rule, can be found as a Paperback or Kindle on Amazon at:

http://www.amazon.com/Fangs-Rule-Girls-Guide-Vampire/dp/1874192480/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1301589874&sr=8-1

Blade: the Series as viewed by Amy Mah (Vampire)

Here we have a dark blood thirsty murdering evil that walks the night in search of new ways of killing…Am I talking about vampires?

No, I am talking about Blade! This monster is a cross between Buffy and Van Helsing, but on acid!

He is very special as he is a day walker type of vampire. This is very rare, but does he use his great gift for good? No just for death and mayhem, which is dished out with such great pleasure, to both his own kind and humans?

He likes to kill with a sword as he says it is a good way to kill vampires…duh …Like it is a good way to kill most things in both the undead and living world the loss of a head is nature’s way of saying goodbye to the need of visiting a hairdresser ever again.

So that he does not need to drink blood he has a special drug that has to be injected regularly as takes away his blood addiction, one just wishes it would also take away his gross antisocial habits.

Oh yes, the drug also make you vomit if you eat food, so not someone you will ever wish to have a meal with.

Different from the films: In the TV series, he has two partners… er... well I say partners… “Shen” is someone to help with weapons and whom he treats like a vampire pet, and Krista who when turned into a vampire looks to me more normal when she is not taking the drug… Well she kills a lot less people when not on the drug, so I think perhaps it is the drug that makes her evil.

Like the time when two vampires were helping to drive her to a meeting and she just killed them without any real reason!

See evil… What normal person would do something like that if they were not on drugs!

But then normal goes out the window when Krista has to go swimming in a pool of blood… er. how stupid is that?

Just a way of letting everyone on the film set know she is female.

So the idea given of being nude is so she does not make the blood dirty? … er… Like would you like to drink it afterwards? And perhaps being the one that finds her pubic hairs in your mouth ... yuk … and she was under the surface for like 10 hours …without visiting the bathroom? … God, she must have a bladder made of cast iron! And another reason not to risk drinking blood people have bathed in!

She must have been just sitting under the surface of the blood with her legs crossed as there is not a lot you can do in blood… it is way too sticky to swim in and it separates so quickly when it starts to congeal that you would need to brake the surface scab to let her out …

So this is a very good TV series about a mass murderer, someone that has nothing better to do but kill tax paying vampires and their human servants …sorry … OK, he does not always kill the human servants…no sometimes he just gauges out the eyes! .. Er … episode 12 – 13 ...for gods sake the now blind man was only an architect, and all he was doing is designing a meeting house, so why be so nasty? Look at the new jobs he helped create in building construction sites, and now he is blind.

Going back to Blade who is something like a born vampire who started out by just killing people for blood like a normal vampire and then turning the only people that befriended him into vampires leaving left them to be ostracized by the rest of the vampire world because of what Blade got up to by killing vampires for pleasure.

At this point we learn that all gang members that were his friends and have the same gang tattoos as blade has and when they meet up he kills them all! Well that is not someone I would like to have as a friend on Facebook.

Apart from the normal day to day killings he is kinda pissed off with the House of Chthon but never quite sure why as it is a very good vampire business which supports the arts and local politics, the manager of the House is a turnling called Marcus he is mega cute and without the drug Krista enjoyed being bedded by him on a number of occasions, at least once while Blade watches! The Pervert!!

The ending of the series is good but needs a second series hopefully showing a great and glorious permanent death of Blade so that we can all sleep a little easier in our coffins.

Review By: Amy Mah, Vampire, Blogger and Author of Fangs Rule: a Girls Guide to Being a Vampire

Vampire Awareness Month: Carl Kolchak

2011-07-12T08:12:00.001-04:00

This post is part of Vampire Awareness Month, the cooperative effort of many vampire fans. This post is X-posted at Amy Mah's blog. Amy is kindly hosting the VAM posts as well! Below is a subject near and dear to my heart:

Carl Kolchak: the Night Stalker

In 1972, a TV movie grabbed my imagination and wouldn't let go. Its name: The Night Stalker. The main character, Carl Kolchak, is a reporter covering a series of murders in Las Vegas. During the investigation, he discovers clues that the suspected killer is a vampire. He is skeptical at first, but becomes a True Believer by the conclusion of the film and takes the vampire down alone, at great risk to himself.

Kolchak was inconveniently thrown out of Las Vegas in the first film, so the second TV movie starring this unusual hero was set in Seattle. No vampire this time, but the second film was so successful that a television series was born. In the series, Kolchak set up house in Chicago with his editor, Tony Vincenzo. Vincenzo was his editor in the films, too, which makes you wonder how good Kolchak was when he wasn't chasing monsters - or if something else was going on there.

Kolchak: the Night Stalker was my "absolutefavoritegottasee" show during its run from 1974-75. Kolchak, with his often-damaged tape recorder, never-ready camera, and dumb-looking straw hat was the perfect hero for a girl who wanted to go to Duke for a degree in parapsychology. Carl (given name Karel as per the Jeff Rice book) wanted to explore the paranormal - and offer proof to everyone else. Alas, the latter was always denied. I loved Darren McGavin's voiceovers, giving us the story of each monster - and each victim. They were always so much more convincing than the schemes he used to wangle his way into crime scenes and out of trouble with Vincenzo.

The vampires, like the other creatures in the Night Stalker series, were not like the werewolves, witches or vampires in today's popular fiction. They were true monsters, inhuman creatures with human form. They preyed on their victims without remorse or angst. About the only thing they have in common with modern paranormal heroes is that many of them were good-looking.

I dearly loved the show, but my major beef with it was Kolchak's tendency to go after the monsters he chased during their time of greatest power. Usually, this meant after dark, during the full moon, etc. Didn't he realize that this was a great way to get killed? After spending some years writing, though, I've realized that stopping the monster was not his first objective - getting the story was. Stopping the creature was a bonus, but often connected to self-preservation. Just like a reporter...

The series lived for only one season, but the legend of Kolchak continues. Copies of Jeff Rice's book and the videos of the two TV movies can be had, but at an exorbitant price. An anthology was released a few years back with various authors' versions of Kolchak stories. The Night Stalker is cited as one of the inspirations for the X-Files television series, and this was acknowledged in 1998 when Darren McGavin came on the show as FBI Special Agent Arthur Dales, the first agent to investigate what became the "X-Files". In 2005, ABC tried airing a new Night Stalker series, but it was an enormous flop. It just wasn't the same without McGavin. I hear that a film version with Johnny Depp may be in the works, but people think Johnny Depp is going to play everything.

Its legacy for this author? I didn't get a degree in parapsychology, but I did get one in journalism. The major focus of my writing has been the occult and paranormal, including vampires. I call it fiction, but you never know...

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FandomFest Weekend

2011-07-01T17:06:00.000-04:00

In case you haven't heard of FandomFest, it's taking place in Louisville the weekend of July 22-24. It's a gathering for fandoms of all sorts - gamers, comic collectors, horror movie fans, zombie fans... everyone from John Carpenter to yours truly will be there!

Gwen Mayo and I will both be participating in FandomFest's Literary Track. My schedule is below:

Friday:
7:00 pm     Concourse: Signing
10:00 pm Panel Room C: Reading

Saturday:
2:00 pm     Panel Room B: Mystery Writing

Sunday:
10:00 am    Panel Room B: Writing Fan Fiction
3:00 pm    Panel Room B: The Paranormal in Fiction

Gwen Mayo and I will also be running the Pill Hill Press booth in the vendors' area. Come by to get a signed copy of All This and Family, Too or Circle of Dishonor! Gwen and I will also be offering Tarot readings.

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Launch Party: TGIO

2011-06-22T17:20:00.003-04:00

It was a dark and stormy night...

Things I appreciated from my launch party:

The Morris Book Shop, a great independent bookstore that has all sorts of books from local authors. When I got there, the staff had set up a table with black webbing, a skull cup, a Sharpie marker, and, of course, books. It was nice to have professionals arrange the details since I'd been in Florida for the previous two weeks. Gwen's launch party was great, but we couldn't have set it up long distance.

The Morris Book Shop had to put out extra chairs.

The assistance I got in preparing for the party, which was almost as detailed as the prep for my photo shoot. My entourage was smaller this time, but multitalented. Christy applied the makeup, but began giving me lessons on how to put it on myself. I am proud that I did not whimper this time.

What is this 'mascara' you speak of?

Wardrobe assistance: My sister-in-law, Deanna, bought me a bat necklace and loaned me a dress that put the 'ho' in horror. It looked great, but I had to wear a push-up bra and a girdle to get the best effect. I now know why feminism was invented: the ladies of Seneca Falls wanted to breathe!

The friend who ordered my book in advance and brought it in for my signature, already dog-eared. Very flattering.

The stranger who showed up and was mistaken for the husband of a long-term friend. To be fair, though, it's been 15 years since I last saw the husband, whom I remember as 'the guy who wore the Spock ears and the shirt with the dragons f---ing'. He took my mistake in good humor, which is not surprising, given his blog.

The family and friends who shared the day with me, especially the ones who drove in from Ohio, Louisville, and Eastern Kentucky.

Time for extra chairs again.

The post-launch party at Logan's.

And, finally, the sense of relief and satisfaction when it was all over and I was back in my recliner, clad in shorts and a T-shirt, and playing on the computer. Long sigh.

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GCLS: Karaoke Makes All The Difference

2011-06-16T17:36:00.001-04:00

Reading an excerpt from my novel. For a vampire story, it sure has a lot of deaths by head shots.

I'm fresh back from the Golden Crown Literary Society convention. Originally, I planned to call this blog "No One Loves Me, But They're Taking My Wife to Lunch".

My book was labeled 'Gay and Lesbian'. It was brand spanking new; I had my first book order from Pill Hill Press mailed directly to my parents in Florida in case they didn't arrive before June (they did). Beth Wylde put my postcards in the participants' goodie bags.

So, who did they fall in love with? My wife! I can't blame them; my wife is charming, intelligent, and writes good mysteries. Hell, it worked on me, and I am a tough sell (just ask her). I meandered around, wondering what I should and shouldn't say to these women (who held my book sales in their hands), while Gwen was surrounded by women and getting invited to lunch. I was jealous in more than one way.

Then came Karaoke Night...

I blame it on the Greek blood. And Snoopy.

The next morning, everyone began talking to me. I'd suddenly obtained street cred as a partier. Can I help it if I love dancing and know the lyrics to all sorts of cheesy songs? Imagine what I'd do if I learned to drink alcohol!

Maybe I needed to loosen up before I was approachable. Something to keep in mind for 2012.

I didn't get onto any of the panels, but I did get to do a reading from All This and Family, Too. Good practice for my book launch tomorrow. The big event I got to appear in was Lara Zielinsky's BlogTalkRadio broadcast live from the convention. If you'd like to hear how I accidentally got published by Pill Hill Press, or snicker at how I sound like a 12-year old, my interview begins at 22:45. As a bonus, I'm followed by my wife, Gwen Mayo.

The full broadcast is below. I urge you to listen to the entire show to learn more about the other authors interviewed. They are real hoots in person.

Listen to internet radio with Readings LAB on Blog Talk Radio

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Book Launch is Saturday. Wrists May Not Survive Intact.

2011-06-16T17:05:00.001-04:00

My book launch is this Saturday. I'm excited. Thrilled. Ready to cut my wrists. Planning to wear a dress that puts the 'ho' in horror. I did a guest blog at Working Stiffs on the two-author household. Excited. Thrilled. Ready to cut my wrists. Got featured in The Vampire Review. Excited. Thrilled. Ready to cut my wrists.

You've probably clued into the pattern here. Since my book hit the press, I've been running around in circles and squawking, mostly to my wife. I can't think, I can't concentrate, and even the simplest things make me want to sit down and cry. I know Gwen has to forgive me, because she did the same things last year when Circle of Dishonor came out. I didn't strangle her, so she's obligated not to strangle me (right?).

Anyway: The launch party for All This and Family, Too is at The Morris Book Shop this Saturday, June 18th, at 2 PM. The Morris Book Shop is located at 408 Southland Drive in Lexington, Kentucky. There will be light refreshments, wine, and some soft drinks.

Please come to my book launch so I can feel loved. And maybe not cut my wrists, although it would get me on the 6 o'clock news. They say that all press is good press...

Addendum: Since my last post here, a shamefully long time ago, I was also featured on Savvy Authors. My post, 'Pitching Woo-Woo', offers advice to writers on incorporating paranormal elements in their stories. I have two other guest posts coming up in the next couple of weeks. My frazzled brain may be forgetting something, though. Check my publicist's page: she is better at keeping track of me than I am. Yes, I have a vampire publicist. Her rates are very reasonable, as long as my blood holds out.

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Various: Medical Mysteries, An Interview, Open to Guest Posts, etc.

2011-05-20T12:07:00.001-04:00

If you like medical mysteries, check out my guest blog on Gwen's page. I examine the types of villains featured in stories by authors like Robin Cook, Tess Gerritsen, and Michael Palmer. Please note that Gwen is open to guest posts by writers other than her wife, so if you'd like to do a post for her, pop over and let her know.

Good eReader featured an article earlier this week on the opportunities e-publishing has created for LGBT authors. I am one of the people who provided input, and I'm very proud of that. E-publishing and POD publishing have created many opportunities for LBGT stories to actually see 'print'. Less cost = more publishers willing to take a risk.

Also: I am opening this blog to guest posts by other authors. I prefer that they pertain to mystery, horror, or vampires, unless I happen to know and like you. I prefer that the whole post be under 600 words, excluding a short bio and blurb. Expect me to correct the use of your/you're, it's/its, egregious misspellings and other grammatical pet peeves you manage to tweak. No slamming of other writers or anyone who might sue me. Also: if you disapprove of gays and lesbians... it won't be a good fit.

Gwen and I have opened a store on Second Life. It's on Book Island, and is named Odd Women. Right now, it only has our books, but we'd like to include books by selected other authors. Are you reading this, Marian Allen?

Fish Tales: The Guppy Anthology is now available in ePub format. Visit Wildside Press to download it! If you don't like my story, there's 21 others that might be more to your liking.

State of Horror: Louisiana is now on Smashwords. It's available in many more formats now, so if you'd like to see my funny Lovecraft tribute... just sayin'.

Interview: Uncle Phineas of The Eel

2011-05-16T17:01:00.007-04:00

Welcome to the inaugural guest interview on Sinister Scribblings! In keeping with the gravity and moment of this -er- moment, we have a Very Special Guest as our first interviewee.

I'd like to introduce you to Uncle Phineas, one of The Eel's most prominent priests of Holy Sweet Micah. If you haven't heard of Holy Sweet Micah or The Eel, you haven't been getting around enough. Uncle Phineas has been kind enough to answer some theological questions for those who are unchurched.

What were your reasons for entering the priesthood?

I was reared by solid middle-class parents who attended a "true" temple regularly until I was ten. That year, one of those fashion fads swept through the area, this one being for stucco, and my parents' plastering business became highly profitable and highly stylish. They decided we needed to transfer to a more modish temple with -- shall we say -- a clientèle they wished to share.

You will, without question, be as skeptical as everyone else to hear I entered the priesthood to recover the simplicity and sincerity of that first "true" experience. Sadly, my appearance and manner mitigate against me. I am not liked. I am not trusted. You needn't doubt me, just because I smile when I say it.

What is your personal opinion on the issue of mermayd souls?

In my personal opinion, anyone who has money has a soul. I can't substantiate the theology of that statement, but the financial soundness is beyond dispute.

Some faiths believe that reward and punishment are given in the afterlife for one’s deeds during their time spent in the world. How does your temple deal with human frailty? How does Holy Sweet Micah mitigate punishment for one’s sins?

The teaching of Holy Sweet Micah says nothing about the afterlife or reward and punishment. The "true" temples stick to the teaching as it has been handed down to us, with the addition of the legend of Micah's appearance walking on the sea after his death by drowning. The thrusts of the "true" branch of the church are self-knowledge and compassion. It was left to the "reavers" to give people what they want: a clear set of rights and wrongs and a comprehensive payment schedule to cover all contingencies. Most people find their consciences salved by regular temple attendance and tithing. For those who suspect this may not be enough to -- as you put it -- mitigate punishment in the hereafter we reavers hold out as a terrible possibility, indulgences are available in return for cash or in-kind payment. Our temple, for example, has some lovely new stained-glass windows obtained in ways we will not question by parishioners we will not name.

Could you address the differences between the so called "true priest" and the your order? What are the differences in training and beliefs? In what ways are your followers more or less faithful than those of the true priest?

I've addressed some of this already. The training is the same. Everyone attends the same seminaries. Everyone is trained in the deep reading of the teaching. Everyone is trained in what you would call psychology. If one is called to the "true" priesthood, one becomes more-or-less what you would call a therapist, helping congregants find the balance in their lives and serenity of spirit through, as I said, self-knowledge and compassion. Those drawn to the reaver life will generally serve under a chief priest or, if he or she is fortunate, will be set up in his or her own temple by a wealthy family.

A reaver's followers are far more faithful than a "true" priest's, because followers of the traditional teaching aren't required to attend services, to consult priests or to contribute anything toward the upkeep of any priest or temple. A reaver's followers are generally invested in being considered a member in good standing of a fashionable temple. It's a matter of status to attend, to tithe and to contribute in additional ways. I dine out most evenings, for example, and dine well. The only drawback is that one temple might go out of fashion as another is considered more modish. It can be tricky, keeping ahead of the pack. I'm happy to say I've always found personal visits to leading parishioners sufficiently effective.

Please feel free to join me on my Facebook page. You'll be asked to say you Like me. If lying bothers you, the indulgence for that particular transgression is on a low, low special while the offer stands.

Uncle Phineas
Priest of Micah

Phineas Rules!

To follow the adventures of Uncle Phineas, be sure to pick up Eel's Reverence. Marian Allen is his biographer, although we are certain that Our Special Guest does not always appreciate the light she casts him in.

All This and Family, Too - NOW AVAILABLE!

2011-05-03T12:47:00.001-04:00

NOW AVAILABLE!

The waiting is over! It's a good thing, too: patience isn't my strong suit. I thought I would explode...

All This and Family, Too is now available from Amazon and Pill Hill Press.

I even have my first review. Drop in on Amazon and read it!

Update: It's also available on Kindle and Nook!

Print version from Barnes & Noble is here.

What's a Girl to Do?

2011-04-23T11:40:00.000-04:00

I've been wondering what to post on here. I've heard that 'normal people' don't follow blogs that only offer updates about the author, but my non-me writing efforts are currently being directed towards the guest blogs that will start coming out with the release of my book (yay!). You can find some of my blog tour dates here. I expect to be updating this page with more locations soon.

At least it doesn't affect my ability to do book reviews. I wanted to become an author because I love reading. Who wouldn't want to produce something so wonderful on their own? Even now, I manage to squeeze a little reading in.

So, let me tell you what is going on with All This and Family, Too. I've returned the final proof of the book to Pill Hill Press, and it's set for publication on May 1st. Think I'm wired for sound yet?

Let's just say that my co-workers think I'm drinking too much caffeine.

As the countdown to my book's release proceeds, the countdown to the Goodreads Drawing for a free advance copy of my book also proceeds. It ends this coming week, so enter before it's too late!

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Goodreads Book Giveaway

All This and Family, Too

by Sarah E. Glenn

Giveaway ends April 30, 2011.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter to win

Review: Other Eyes

2011-04-12T18:25:00.004-04:00

Other Eyes by Barbara D'Amato

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This thriller begins with an arresting scene: a baby crawls across several lanes of traffic on I-90 in Chicago. The baby is saved, but police detective Tommy Pollard no idea of who he is or where his parents are.

Unfortunately, we're not going to return to the baby for a while. Instead, we are introduced to Blue Eriksen, an archaeologist with controversial ideas. We eventually figure out - fifty pages into the book - that she is the baby's mother.

Then, there's the dread assassin the FBI agents are pursuing. Felix Hacker is in Chicago for some reason, and it can't be good. FBI agent Marcus plans to catch him with the help of other agents, but Hacker slips out of town after several stupid mistakes on the parts of the locals.

We bounce between Blue blithely planning research in Peru and the Keystone Kop action... what about the baby? Eventually, we get back to Detective Pollard, who is more astute than the group chasing the assassin. He traces the baby's trail back to Blue's house, where he finds that the father, Blue's ex-husband, has been murdered.

Eighty pages into the book, Blue discovers that her baby is the one everybody has been talking about. This pretty much sets the pace of the novel.

Blue clears things up with the police - she was being interviewed about her controversial theories at the time of the murder, so she has an ironclad alibi. Then, we travel to Peru with her.

The trip is highly educational for the reader. We learn a bit about modern Peru, but we learn more about the ancient Peruvians. Blue likes to visualize how the skeletons they discover wound up in their current condition, so we are treated to several vignettes of the lives of these ancients.

Oh, and there's a cartel that's trying to get the drug dealers in Mexico on the same page. By the way, they hired Hacker to kill Blue because she thinks hallucinogens might be able to cure drug addiction.

Hacker's still trying to kill Blue. After a failed attempt to kill her with a rockslide, it becomes a matter of principle for him to complete the job.

One of Blue's fellow professors is killed in the slide. His brother works in Europe, solving art crimes. The latest theft was inspired by a story written by Jacques Futrelle. Fortunately, the brother is also familiar with the story.

Blue goes on to Turkey. More research, more vignettes. She finds out that the rockslide was no accident, so she calls in the brother for assistance. More intrigue follows... but first, the baby's birthday party.

Barbara D'Amato has a great track record as an author, but I had serious problems finishing this novel. There were so many intervening scenes and situations, the thread - and, more importantly, the excitement - of the main plot was lost again and again. And I'm speaking as someone who likes history, archaeology, and mystery religions.

I enjoyed D'Amato's writing style and the information on the ancient cultures... but there was too much education and not enough time spent on the central plot. Fans of archaeology may enjoy this book, but if you're expecting a James Bond-style caper with a secretive crime cartel and a relentless assassin, prepare to be frustrated.

View all my reviews

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Sorta-Kinda Convention Schedule

2011-04-03T18:16:00.000-04:00

Yes, it's been a while since I posted. I've thought about posting, but my little gray cells have been busy elsewhere, mostly working with my wife to determine our schedule for the rest of the year. I'm sending out ARCs, and have received the final-final copy from Pill Hill of my novel, All This and Family, Too. I have a couple of short stories I should be hearing about, now that their submission deadlines have passed.

So... the schedule so far:

April:
Gwen is presenting at Authorfest in Schaumburg, IL next Saturday. I'll be tagging along, but not speaking. If you like historical fiction, you'll like her presentation AND her writing.

June:
Gwen and I will be attending the Golden Crown Literary Society conference in Orlando, FL. We're con "Virgins", so I'm expecting to be sacrificed.

July:
We'll be at FandomFest in Louisville, KY. Come on down to see the zombies!

September:
15 - 18: Bouchercon in St Louis, MO. Gwen and I both hope to be on panels, but there's a lot of competition. We're already scoping barbecue places.
23 - 25: Scarefest in Lexington, KY. Not sure who the headliner will be, but it was George Romero last year!

October:
22: A Day of Mystic Blood Lust in Lexington, KY. See the trailer below for more info:

We really wish we could afford to go to Magna cum Murder this year (28-30), but we just don't have the money. I'm especially sorry since Parnell Hall is the featured guest.

November:
12th: I hope to have a berth at the Kentucky Book Fair in Frankfort.

We hope to see you at one or more of these gatherings!
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Fish Tales: The Guppy Anthology

2011-03-24T22:09:00.001-04:00

I've spent so much time talking about State of Horror: Louisiana and my upcoming novel, I neglected to mention a side project I was involved in with the SinC Guppies. The Guppies sent out a call to its ranks a while back: send us your best stories with a fish theme for inclusion in our first anthology. The stories were blind-judged by the members, and I was flattered to make the final cut against very tough competition.

Wildside Press accepted the collection of stories earlier this year, and Fish Tales: The Guppy Anthology will be out in print before Malice Domestic. It's already available on Kindle, Mobipocket, Diesel e-Books, and should soon be on sale in print.

My tale, "New Age Old Story", takes place in Asheville, North Carolina - the city of my birth. It involves a lovelorn lesbian detective, an aquarium owner who paints auras, a dead councilman, and a lavender fedora. I hope you'll consider picking up this collection.

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Review: A Heartbeat Away

2011-03-19T18:58:00.002-04:00

A Heartbeat Away by Michael Palmer

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

As Michael Palmer’s books rise in popularity, he raises the stakes higher and higher. His earlier books focused on doctors running afoul of conspiracies in their local hospital; now, his writing eye is fixed on terrorism and government conspiracies - with a medical twist, of course.

In A Heartbeat Away, the first physician we meet is the President of the United States. James Allaire is preparing to give the first State of the Union address of his second term. Among the issues he plans to focus on - in front of his assembled allies and enemies - is terrorism, most notably that of Genesis, which appears to be a home-grown left-wing cadre. As he makes his opening remarks, small explosions occur throughout the crowd. Genesis has planted a Level Four virus, WRX3883, around the congressional chamber, and everyone there has just been exposed to it.

The back cover of Heartbeat lists the presidential order of succession. This becomes relevant quite quickly. Everyone listed in that order was at the address except, ironically, the Secretary of Homeland Security. Palmer lets the reader know that at least one person in the line of succession must be away during such events because of revolting developments like this.

Allaire knows the virus is highly lethal; he discontinued the government's development of it after it was stolen. It acts like SARS with a side helping of Ebola is also contagious. He must control the panic in the Chamber - and seal the building. No one gets in, no one gets out. The scientist who headed the WRX3883 project is missing. Her subordinate, Griffin Rhodes, is in prison for stealing the virus.

Rhodes is the only chance they have. Allaire promises him a presidential pardon if he comes up with a cure. The secret lab has been reopened and his old lab assistant will be waiting for him. Rhodes demands a witness. He was framed for the theft and railroaded into prison. He doesn’t trust the president. Angela Fletcher, a reporter for the Washington Post, will follow Rhodes and make sure that no one changes ‘fact into fiction’. That, and every drama needs a love interest.

The newly freed Rhodes goes to work on finding a cure. Angela tries to locate the missing WRX3883 project head. Genesis, which has eyes and ears everywhere, targets the would-be saviors. Meanwhile, they’ve contacted the Speaker of the House and offered her the cure – and the Presidency – if she cooperates with their demands. It makes for a barrel of fun.

I like stories with a medical angle, and Palmer gives us a taste of the science involved, doing a good job of explaining the research and aspects of human biology without going into pages of jargon. Are there some five-dollar words in there? Yes, but you can speed-bump over the worst parts or fire up Google. Don’t worry, he gets back to the story quickly.

I also enjoyed the political backstabbing that began almost immediately. Palmer does not identify his office holders by party affiliation and does his best to avoid making them resemble their real-life counterparts. I couldn’t suppress a snicker, though, when the senior senator from my state ran afoul of the Secret Service. It was only fiction, after all…

I initially had problems ‘buying’ a group like Genesis: left-wing terrorists of this magnitude? I’m sure there are violent loons on the left; it’s their level of organization that bothers me. Genesis is not what it seems, though. I’ll leave it at that.

What I would have liked: a little more medicine. There are seven hundred infected patients, but we don’t see much of how WRX3883 affects them or what’s being done to help them. A scene where Doctor Allaire was treating a sick congressman would have been nice. He should have been berating himself the entire time, too. Presidents sometimes have to do vile things for the best interests of all, but he should have regrets.

Another problem: Allaire’s political enemies are too one-sided. They hate him – no surprise – but most villains see themselves as the heroes. They also have personal principles and agendas. Perhaps Palmer didn’t want to get into those because then we could ‘peg’ them politically, but at the very least they should have families and people they worry about. The Speaker’s actions at the end were too over-the-top for me. Perhaps, if Palmer had shown her being more affected by the illness, it would have helped.

Spoiler alert for my biggest complaint: the virus WRX3883 was being developed in the first place because it had a side effect that worked better than truth serum and also dissolved self-control. It would have made it damned hard for the Speaker to conceal what she’d done with the Vice President. The arguments that would have ensued when everyone began telling the truth could have also been damned interesting.

Overall, though, I found A Heartbeat Away to be a good read. It’s not my favorite of his works, but it has plenty of action and keeps you turning the page.

View all my reviews

The Goodreads ARC Giveaway!

2011-03-17T23:29:00.000-04:00

Good news! I have a box of advanced reading copies of All This and Family, Too. Most of them are slated for specific reviewers, but TWO are being given away on Goodreads. When, you ask? Now.

You - yes, you - could win a free copy of my book for Beltane. Details are below:

Goodreads Book Giveaway

All This and Family, Too

by Sarah E. Glenn

Giveaway ends April 30, 2011.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter to win

Naturally, I would appreciate it if the winners would be kind enough to review the book, or at least assign it a few stars on Goodreads after they read the story. It's not required, though.

Come on and enter!

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Guest Posting on Gwen Mayo's Blog Tonight

2011-03-10T22:19:00.000-05:00

I did a guest blog for "Thursday's Thugs", a regular feature on Gwen Mayo's blog. The focus is usually on mystery, but I take a slight genre departure to talk about a double standard one of Marion Zimmer Bradley's most famous villains benefits from.

Read my contribution at:

http://gwenmayo.blogspot.com/2011/03/thursdays-thugs-double-standard.html

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Social Media: Setting up your #FF list for Twitter

2011-03-03T21:38:00.001-05:00

I get a double dose when it comes to dealing with social media. I have a personal Twitter account where I talk with friends, interact with people who share my interests, and promote my writing. I also have a 'business' Twitter account for my job, where I represent my department and promote its programs.

My first Twitter account was the personal one, used to stay in touch with political contacts and swap information as it became available. Later, as my fellow Sisters in Crime moved to Twitter, I began adding friends who were writers. We engaged in chats, Retweet blog links, shared news of recent sales, etc. Now that I have a book coming out, I'm also using the account to announce updates in its production and places I will be appearing and guest blogging.

My second Twitter account was set up as a public 'face' for my department, which offers continuing healthcare education. In other words, we offer educational programs for doctors, pharmacists, etc. From that account, I forward articles I think our customers will find interesting, Retweet posts from other Twitterers (I prefer the terms 'Tweeps' and 'Twits'), make comments on the posts of others, and, of course, occasionally post a link to one of our programs. An aside: no one is going to follow you for long if all you do is plug your own product.

On Fridays, people suggest Twitterers that they think their friends might also want to follow. This is referred to as "Follow Friday" or by the hashtag #ff. People send out #ff posts to promote their friends, but they also do it as a sign of their friendship with others. I can tell you that I look kindly upon people who #ff @saraheglenn. Follow Friday can be genuinely useful - I've found lots of new Tweeps this way - but it's very, very easy to begin with a few friends and wind up, in a matter of months, sending over ten posts of nothing but Twitter IDs plus the #ff. If you follow as many people as I do, Friday is a day of many recommendations but little commentary.

What can help?

Suggestion 1: Make a special shout-out post to a few people. Marian Allen, for example, saw my blog earlier in the week and posted:

#ww @SarahEGlenn because she's photogenic.

You bet I'm going to remember that, and will be much more likely to Retweet her blog and book announcements as a result.

Mark Souza posts his "100 Best Writers on Twitter". This is a great idea because a. you know his list is finite, b. the people named are nominally part of an elite group, and c. he's included me.

Suggestion 2: Weed out your #ff list if it's gotten too large. I did this recently with both my personal and office Twitter accounts. I pulled up each account and found several that didn't exist any more. I also noticed that others only posted new material every two or three weeks. Those got cut. I looked over the content of posts as well: did they ever share useful information, like blog links? Get involved in group chats? If so, I kept them. Naturally, there was one more criterion: did they ever #ff me? Automatically a keeper.

Suggestion 3: Set some standards for the people you #ff. Once again, this will not be useful if you only have a few friends, but once you're following over 300 people they will come in handy. I follow over a thousand people on each of my accounts, but I can only #ff a small fraction of them on Fridays. Below are mine, subject to revision as needed:

My personal account:
Did they ever #ff me?
Do they represent some important group, like the SFWA?
Are they great bloggers, like Pam Spaulding or Joe Sonka?
Are they real-life personal friends, spouses, or relatives? Yes, nepotism counts with me.
Are they cool? I met Jacqueline Lichtenberg about twenty years ago, but she's still one of the best things since sliced bread. I also love BurbDoc, whom I came across during my work, but his posts are too vulgar for me to promote them as a representative of my office. However, it works fine for my personal account.
Do I just plain flat like them?

My office account:
Did they ever #ff me?
Do they represent a major healthcare body, like the AMA or the American College of Chest Physicians?
Do they provide news of interest to healthcare providers?
Are they connected with the institution I work for?
Are they popular bloggers, like Kevin MD?

Your standards may not ultimately match mine. You may have a more relaxed system for choosing people. You might even go with a weekly shout-out to a couple of friends, and rotate the people you pick each week. The Follow Friday, though, is a good way to confirm friendships and promote one another, and I hope you won't be intimidated by it.

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Author Pics, or Straight Eye for the Queer Gal

2011-02-28T17:13:00.006-05:00

All photos by Christy Mayo McMillen

The time has come for the all-important author portrait. You know, the one that goes in the back of the book with the author's bio. I wrote the bio, but I called in professionals for the photo.

Straight women.

First was Nancy, my hairdresser. I scheduled my haircut on the same day as the photo shoot, which was by accident - but a fortunate one. Nancy did her usual great job, but suspected that her good intentions might go awry before that evening. My hair isn't known for its good behavior. She made me cover my eyes and hold my breath while she sprayed the hell out of it. It worked; the 'do set up and stayed put, even through the clothing changes.

That evening, the tag team arrived. One was Gwen's daughter, a fantastic photographer with a huge honking camera that she normally reserves for the grandsons' sports events. She took Gwen's author photos and graciously agreed to take mine. On Saturday, she came to Lexington with her friend, a former Miss West Virginia. High-powered help, indeed!

I showed them the wardrobe and jewelry options. Once they'd decided how to dress me, they draped a towel around my neck and began their work.

Strange substances, some very expensive, were sponged and brushed over every square inch of my face. The smell of cosmetics, a scent I am normally unfamiliar with, filled the air. I sat there clutching my seat, trying not to act nervous. When they reached the eyes, though, I let out a high-pitched whine and they got tickled. Gwen's mother said I sounded like a puppy whimpering.

Naturally, I was not allowed to wear my glasses until after I was through having pictures taken. Gwen sat in the front of her daughter's car to give directions. First stop: the cemetery. No, I am not kidding. My novel has vampires, doesn't it?

The vampire novelist requires night photography.

Christy had great fun telling me to turn this way and that. It was like being a model, but dressed much more sensibly. We moved to indoor locations when we got cold. The shot at the top of this post was taken in front of a fountain at Lexington Green. I was much happier there because we visited Joseph-Beth's. Lack of glasses didn't stop me from peering at books! They had to tell me to move along, we weren't there to shop.

Christy knew which book I should hold.

The only confusion came when she asked me to do the 'cheerleader' pose. I'm afraid I had no notion of what that was. They had to move me into the proper position, which is a bit like an iliotibial band stretch without the pain. I am not posting a pic here because I have suboptimal talents in the cheerleader department. I should have paid more attention at those football games when I was in band.

Once the ladies were tired of posing me, we went home. I was happy to get my glasses back and, with the magic of cold cream, return to my secret identity as a woman in comfortable shoes! If the book sells well, though, I may have to become more familiar with feminine skills.

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My Novel Has a Cover!

2011-02-24T12:54:00.000-05:00

Every day, my dream is becoming more and more solid. Soon, it will be a reality I can hold in my hands.

State of Horror: My Lovecraft Tribute

2011-02-22T16:57:00.003-05:00

I am pleased to report that Rymfire's latest release, State of Horror: Louisiana, contains one of my stories. "Voter Base" is a little tribute I wrote to H.P. Lovecraft's body of work. I have read most of HPL's stories and played Call of Cthulhu for several years.

On the fifth anniversary of our civil union, I even took my wife to Providence and did the Lovecraft's College Hill Walking Tour. I viewed this as proof of her true devotion, especially since everything was uphill. Lovecraft's notions of non-Euclidean geometry were definitely spawned in his home town.

I have a few other Lovecraftian notions bouncing around in my head, just looking for opportunity and a promising outlet. It was a lot of fun to write.

http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/state-of-horror-louisiana/14862271

UPDATE: This book is also available on Kindle!

http://www.amazon.com/State-of-Horror-Louisiana-ebook/dp/B004NNV2MK

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Review: Ice Cold

2011-02-21T21:01:00.002-05:00

Ice Cold by Tess Gerritsen

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I've read several of Tess Gerritsen's novels, but I've never been able to get into her Rizzoli and Isles books. I'm a sucker for a survival story, though, and was intrigued enough by the description on the flyleaf to give it a try. It did not disappoint in that area. Maura's struggle to live through the punishing cold early in the book and, later, eluding would-be killers with the boy Rat were both compelling to me.

I also found myself connecting with Maura on a deeper level than my previous experiences. She begins the book at an impasse with her current lover (Isles seems to have a bad track record in choosing lovers). Her impulse to do something, anything to break out of her life's pattern is very understandable and, naturally, leads to trouble. Her experiences help her clarify what she wants to do with the relationship - mostly by blasting her out of her love-angst.

I don't want to give any spoilers, but the book starts with a 'garden variety' polygamous cult with a charismatic prophet. You think you know what happened to his followers... but you don't. You also think that the boys raised in this patriarchal cult would be greatly valued and groomed to rule... but they're not. The ending holds a final twist that truly did surprise me... but made sense at the same time.

This was a great read. I plowed through it within 24 hours - it was that enjoyable. I think other non-Rizzoli and Isles readers might enjoy it, too.

View all my reviews

Review: Snow Blind

2011-02-15T21:42:00.001-05:00

Snow Blind by Lori G. Armstrong

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

This was my first experience with Lori Armstrong's work, but it is the last in the series with Julie Collins. I don't know what the other books were like, but I would describe this one as bipolar.

The situation Julie and her partner Kevin are hired to investigate isn't an uncommon one for a novel by a woman writer with a female detective: find out if an old man is being exploited by the nursing home he lives in. We meet the various characters at the home, everyone from paid 'volunteers' to the requisite spunky old lady. The investigation begins...

...and then Julie is called out to her father's ranch. She battles a blizzard and painful memories while trying to save her father from a murder charge. Dark family secrets surface, some from her family, some from other families. The difference between this and the first part of the book is night and day. I was going "uh-huh, uh-huh" up till the trip to the ranch, after which things got interesting.

Eventually Armstrong takes Julie back to her assigned case, which is now only a pale distraction in comparison to the dark drama we were plunged into. Julie gets to the bottom of the case, but for me the good part of the book had already ended.

I hope the author will do more novels that focus on stories as dark and gripping as the subplot in this novel. I found it much more interesting than the more predictable 'real case'.

View all my reviews

The Bio. NOW what do I say?

2011-02-10T20:54:00.001-05:00

Everyone who read last week's post will be glad to learn that I finished the edits in good time. Once I got into them, I remembered how much I liked the characters and it really wasn't that scary.

I'm almost ready to ship the edits back to Pill Hill Press, but I'm lacking something important: an author bio. I'm at a loss for words.

Now, let me make it clear that I've done bios for short stories. They're brief and often have pop culture references. I'd like to stick with brief, but I don't think I should make my usual confession that I wanted to grow up to be Kolchak, except smarter (the idiot hunted vampires alone at night). Wouldn't the Kolchak people try to sue me for that?

My bios are usually tailored to fit the story. For example, in my bio for Fish Tales, the SinC Guppies' first anthology, I mentioned that I had been born in Asheville, NC and had deep family roots there because my story was set in Asheville. I worked an NCIC terminal at my local police department for seven years, so I mention that in stories with central characters that work for the police.

My novel is about a lesbian vampire that moves into a gated community. What the hell do I do with that? I'm a lesbian who played Vampire: the Masquerade about ten years ago. Not quite the same thing. If I'd planned ahead for my writing career, I would have been born about ten years later with a higher metabolism. Then, I would have been young and thin enough to join one of the vampire cults. Instead, I was an old, boring nerd when that became the rage.

Sadly, I am more qualified to write about the New Ager the vampire dates for a while. I know quite a bit about astrology, crystals, and Tarot. When you meet my vampire, Cynthia, you will know why this is not a compliment. I am more qualified to write the science geeks she interacts with, after living in the engineering dorm at OSU and dating the people I gamed with. I'm also better equipped to write about the pettiness of bureaucrats, after years of working for the city, the University, and volunteering for my political party.

None of this boils down to the thumbnail sketch I'm hoping to create. I probably should mention the degree in journalism. It makes me sound like I've been trained in writing, at least. The rest is going to require more thought.

Any suggestions for useful things to include in a bio for someone who's written a vampire novel? And please, no 'blood bank employee' suggestions. I've studied dead languages... does that count?

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The Thrill of Victory... The Agony of Delete

2011-02-01T23:38:00.000-05:00

A short time ago, I discovered that I could look up the stats for this blog. Among the information listed, I discovered that someone found my site by asking, "Is Pill Hill Press a vanity press?" I can attest that, having recently received their edits for my novel, that they are nothing of the sort. What little vanity I have took a serious blow.

Comments in red, blue, and purple ink fill the margins throughout the book. I overuse certain words, and they're longer than four letters. Entire paragraphs have been flagged as 'wordy' or 'unclear', so it's probably time to STFU about James Joyce. I've also been asked to delete a few blocks of writing as unnecessary to the story. Ouch!

These are common errors, though. Em dashes and new word choices just need to be 'fixed'. It gets worse. My editor found contradictions of logic and inconsistencies in my vampire physics. I've had a couple of real "Oh, s--t!" moments. This stuff will require serious thought and rewriting.

I feel like an utter idiot. How could I have managed to leave so much stuff screwed up after four drafts? I have to remind myself that my editor, who is also my publisher, saw these same pages, errors included, when she decided to offer me a contract. Despite the amount of ink decorating the margins, she must have thought that these problems were surmountable.

I must also remind myself that I can get my characters and plot to do the things needed because, in the words of Donald Maass, they are "a work of fiction". This is made up stuff, and I am a writer. I can do this.

So, I picked up my yelping, whimpering manuscript, and began revisions. I'm proceeding one step at a time, untangling its words, making it stand up straight, and putting its shoes on the correct feet. Solutions have already begun coming to me. I will get this done... and the book will be better for it.

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Voices of Mystery: Molly MacRae

2011-01-28T14:14:00.000-05:00

Ball State professor Nancy Carlson interviews Molly MacRae about her newest novel, Lawn Order. The interview took place at the last Magna cum Murder.

When you're through watching this interview, why not follow up with Gwen Mayo's?

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Quantity and Quality - Not What You Think

2011-01-27T12:32:00.000-05:00

In a recent exchange on the #amwriting thread on Twitter, I said that I had only written about 400 words. Someone responded: "Quality, not quantity!" When I thought about those words, though, I realized that this axiom doesn't quite work with my approach to writing.

Quality? I hope I eventually get there with everything I write. My method of getting there, though, is to sit down and force myself to write the scene, even if I'm not sure where I'm going or what's going to happen later in the story. I brazen it out, feeling foolish and seeing the clumsiness of the words.

Then, I fix it. I go back and forth, changing redundant words, seeking the perfect way - or at least a clear way - of saying what I want to say. I may have only had 400 new words on my computer screen, but there were probably another 300 I deleted en route to better phrasing. Like Penelope, I weave and unravel. Unlike her, my objective is to finish the job.

After I have a washcloth or face towel of writerly fabric, I smooth out the phrasing, add details, and take out all the "reallys". Sometimes, I shift whole blocks of words because I've gotten ahead of myself and the material needs to be put into chronological order. With novels, I write the scenes as they come to me and then list them on calendar pages. Once I know 'when' everything is, I reorder the scenes and fix them, reweaving the golden thread of continuity, until they fit together again.

But before all those repairs comes the moment of throwing the words down on the page: the "Well, here goes!" moment. I learned that from journalism. We'd come into class, which was set in a room with typewriters and reams of papers (yes, I know I'm dating myself by admitting that). The professor would have certain facts written up on the board - the famous "Who, What, Where," etc. He would tell us: "Write a page and a half on this. You have X minutes." Naturally, this led to a lot of panicked typing. When the time was up, we had to turn in our work, finished or not. I wondered then why we so rarely got our work back with grades. Now I know why... the point was to get us to write, to set aside our fears of being imperfect.

These days, I occasionally hear people complain: "They don't teach you how to write in journalism, they just teach you to write to deadline. You don't learn anything about the art of it."

You can talk about the craft of writing all day, but you won't learn that craft until you actually write. The same with painting, playing music, dancing, sports... you develop skill and craft by doing. Later, in the higher level classes, our instructors did talk more about the skills and approaches to different types of articles, but first we had to learn to write. Imperfectly, of course, but... to write.

The art comes in the rewrite. At least it does for me.

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Guest Post on Austin Camacho's Blog Today!

2011-01-17T11:42:00.001-05:00

Austin Camacho is the author of the Hannibal Jones series. If you haven't had the pleasure of meeting him at Bouchercon or Magna cum Murder, he is a great person. I'm the featured guest today at Another Writer's Life, his blog.

http://ascamacho.blogspot.com/2011_01_01_archive.html#6259530527804702729

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Please go VOTE for my wife!

2011-01-16T20:11:00.000-05:00

Preditors & Editors is doing their Best of 2010 poll. If you're familiar with their usual work, I want to assure you that this is a positive poll.

Gwen Mayo's book, Circle of Dishonor, is in the running for Best Mystery Novel. Gwen is my wife, in case you didn't know... so I am imploring everyone to go over to the poll and vote for her. While you're there, you might find some other books and authors you want to support. Pill Hill Press is making a very good showing in several categories.

The slate for Mystery Novels is at:

http://www.critters.org/predpoll/novelmys.shtml

Please consider supporting Gwen's first novel... if not, support someone. Writers need all the encouragement they can get.

Your friend in nepotism,

Sarah Glenn
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I May Have Super Powers! So May You!

2011-01-11T16:46:00.000-05:00

Unfortunately, they only work on flu. According to 'recent research', some people (okay, nine people) who got swine flu in 2009 developed super-powerful immune systems that are hell on wheels as far as the flu is concerned.

The power of the H1N1 immune response is extraordinary. According to the researchers, five of the types of antibodies isolated in their research would be enough to fight off all seasonal flu variations, the Spanish flu virus that killed as many as 50 million people in the pandemic of 1918, and a potentially deadly bird flu strain known as H5N1.

Guess who came back from Bouchercon 2009 with swine flu? You guessed it! I may have a super-duper immune system now, rendering me immune from all major flu strains plus the scary avian flu, too! Not only that, my wife was with me and caught swine flu also! What a relief to her supervisors, who now know they can call "bullshit' on her if she ever takes off work for 'the flu' again. Her employability just went up.

The best part? We caught it at Bouchercon, which had over a thousand attendees. This means that many mystery writers and their fans were exposed to super powers, too! Since Sisters in Crime held a workshop the day before, perhaps we should rename ourselves "The Wonder Women".

The now-super-powered Ohio River Valley Chapter of Sisters in Crime.

It's nice to know that my favorite mystery writers are safe from the flu forever. It's also nice to know that there will be plenty of bookbuying fans to come back year after year after year.

I only have one burning question...

Will it protect me from the common cold as well?

Setting Your Goals for the New Year

2010-12-31T04:46:00.001-05:00

Okay, now that I've blathered about my own goals for the New Year, you probably got bored and thought about something more interesting: your goals for the New Year. As a compulsive list-maker and goal setter, let me offer you some suggestions.

I do strongly suggest that you think in terms of goals rather than resolutions. So many resolutions involve "don't" behavior. Every time you think "Don't do ___," you're thinking about ___. In fact, you're starting to obsess about it. How can you stop without doing ___?

Phrasing can be very important in the case of goals that do involve stopping certain kinds of behavior, such as overeating. Losing weight is especially challenging, because you have to keep eating, while trying 'not' to eat too much. Try thinking in terms of eating 'enough' rather than 'not overeating'. It might help.

When you set your goals, be realistic. Be realistic in terms of what you think you can accomplish, not what you've heard other people can or did do. Sure, the fat people on those TV weight loss shows did lose a remarkable amount of weight in a relatively short time. They also had coaches and cooks helping them out. We're also learning that sometimes more time passes between episodes than a real-life week. Measuring yourself by those standards will make you feel like a failure every week you lose less than five pounds.

Speaking of realistic, be sure your goals are about you. Getting your husband to stop smoking isn't under your control, it's under his control. You may have an obedient child who wants to please, but if she's not a 'morning person', this is unlikely to change. Some goals, by definition, do involve other people. If you're trying to get better performance ratings at work, or peddle your book to a publisher, a good portion of the outcome is in other people's hands. In this case, being realistic means you must accept that you might fail despite your best actions. Sometimes your boss just has it in for you.

Be specific. What is the most important thing you're trying to accomplish? "Reduce debt" sounds good, but is sort of vague. You might consider paying the minimums on your credit cards 'reducing debt' (FYI: no, it's not). "Retire my VISA card" or "Close my Dillard's account for good" are clearer goals.

Prepare to stick with it. Weight Watchers has a successful program. So does SparkPeople. Frankly, there are a lot of diet systems that really can help you lose weight - if you stick to them. Ask yourself how serious you are about your goal before ponying up time and money for a gym membership, new running shoes, etc. Paying off that MasterCard? You're probably going to have to do without some indulgences to make those higher payments... every single month.

Look for tools to help. Educate yourself. I mentioned there are a lot of diet systems that can help you - there are also a number of financial advice sites that can steer you towards better credit or reduced debt, if that's your goal (look for advice columns, not people who want you to pay them money to 'repair your credit'). MSN Money's Personal Finance isn't a bad place to start. Trying to stop smok- uh, live tobacco-free? Look at the American Lung Association pages. Educate yourself, then work from there.

Finally...

Don't make your list too long. Cut yourself a little slack, will you? You need downtime. You're starting the New Year with plenty of energy and zeal (or bloated regret), but both will wear off by the time January is over. Set a few really important goals and pursue them. If you accomplish some other stuff, great, but don't schedule every minute of every day for working on yourself. The brightest guy I know, a mathematician, takes time off to watch the Simpsons. If his brilliant brain needs time off from weighty issues, so does yours.

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Planning the New Year

2010-12-30T12:48:00.000-05:00

“Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans”
- John Lennon

Some people make resolutions for the New Year: I make lists. Each January, I used to make long lists of what I wanted to accomplish that year. I set up goals for my health (read for this: lose weight), finances, employment, spirituality, and, of course, for my writing. When I married, I expanded the chart of goals to include my wife's goals as well (not sure how she felt about that, but I'm a little OCD). We bought a house, so I added a new category for work around the house (painting, fixing stuff, etc.).

Every December, I reviewed the list to see how I'd done. Gentle Reader, I'm sure you're intelligent enough to guess that I was lucky to get half of my goals anywhere near accomplishment in twelve months. My goals were set up for blue skies, not the changeable climate of real life. Why not aim for the best?

Oh, well.

A couple of years ago, I decided to do something simpler: a short list of things I thought were really important. Since then, December hasn't been nearly as brutal.

My goals for 2010:
Lose weight. Finish rewrite. Get an agent. Please note that I dropped 'Get out of debt' from the list after taking out a loan to replace our central air. A house is a money pit. We're just lucky we don't have children to raise.

Goals accomplished? Well, I didn't lose weight, but I maintained the weight I've lost (although the jury is still out until after I escape my mother's clutches). I did finish the rewrite. I didn't get that agent, but I got a publisher, which was better!

Goals for 2011... Hrm. Lose weight (perennial goal). Promote book. I was working on a separate book with a new character when I got the good news. Do I try to finish it, or restart work on the sequel for All This and Family, Too?

Lots to plan for... I may only accomplish the first two goals. Or... maybe only the second goal. I'll be satisfied if it comes off well.

I hope everyone has a great New Year. Try not to get too hung up on resolutions or lists.
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Recipe: Mom's Avgolemono Soup

2010-12-22T11:50:00.002-05:00

The finished product.

Today, I'm posting something you will rarely see here: a recipe. I rarely cook, and when I do it usually involves boiling water and some sort of powder or item in a can. However, I am visiting my mother, who is Greek, and she makes the best avgolemono soup in the world. All cultures seem to have some form of chicken soup; this is the Greek version.

Although I first posted this on Sparkpeople.com, this is not a 'healthy' recipe. This is the way my mother, a real Greek, makes it... although the bouillon is a recent addition. Restaurants often just use the egg whites; my mother uses whole eggs.

Ingredients:

Chicken Broth, 10 cup (8 fl oz)
Egg, fresh, 5 large
Lemon Juice, 4 lemon yields
White Rice, medium grain, 4 cup
Chicken bouillon, 3 cubes
Salt and pepper to taste

Directions

Boil a chicken for two hours. Remove the chicken from the pot, and use for chicken salad or some other purpose (you can add some of the meat back to the soup later if you want).

Add 1 and 1/3 cups dry rice to the pot. Let the rice cook. TURN DOWN THE HEAT.

Squeeze the 4 lemons. Beat the eggs, THEN add the lemon juice. Beat together.

Slowly add a LITTLE bit of the broth at a time to the egg-lemon mixture until the mixture gets very warm. Dump into the broth and stir.

Let the broth come to where it begins to boil again, and take the pot OFF the heat. I cannot stress this part enough; you don't want the egg to 'break'. The only reason Mom lets it boil at all is because of salmonella worries.

Side note: some people use orzo instead of rice. My mother is a purist. Also: don't add onions of any sort. Trust me on this one.

I added this to my repertoire at SparkPeople because I needed a calorie count (the vat above comes out to about 16 servings at 137 calories each, if you're curious). Since I shared it, I have received several responses from people who tried making it and loved the results. Guess I give better directions for cooking than doing the actual cooking.

If you try it, I hope it turns out well.

Traffic Tribulations

2010-12-15T12:14:00.001-05:00

I apologize in advance to all Tennesseans reading this blog. I do not mean to cast aspersions on the state, at least not now that football season is over. I lived in Alcoa and Maryville for a few years during my childhood, and they were pretty good years.

However: Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge is a growing fistula on the state's backside, spewing road rage and concrete droppings of tourist traps from Sevierville to Cherokee, North Carolina. If you live there, I feel sorry for you. You seem like nice people, but I think your blood pressure might drop if you relocated.

When I was a child, we visited Gatlinburg a few times. We parked, got out of the car, and walked around to look at the tourist attractions. Finding a parking place was the only problem. Things have changed a lot in the last -um- twenty-five years.

The layout of the area probably 'just happened that way', but could not have been better planned by an anger management counselor looking for customers: Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge/Sevierville is one huge mall with four to six-lane service roads. There are precious few sidewalks, and nothing is close to anything else. Signs and lights are everywhere, telling you that you're simultaneously on a northbound and southbound road. That's not all: U.S. 441 splits at a right angle for north vs. south, too. Methinks someone didn't have a compass.

I drove through Denver during the Democratic National Convention. Every morning, I left from Aurora and entered its construction zones and rotating lane closures. They changed the lane closures every day for security reasons (malice, more likely). Denver earned its listing as a horrible town for traffic fair and square.

Surely I, a Denver Convention veteran, wouldn't get lost in Sevierville, a 'small town' in Tennessee..? Yes, I did, and lots of fun was had by all (NOT). It was even more 'fun' later, when we needed to take someone to the emergency department (I will not relate that story here because I've received death threats). Did GPS help on that trip? No, it didn't, not when they'd moved the hospital!

Oh, you're planning to visit the Great Smoky Mountains National Park? Drive into NC from I-40 and approach from Cherokee. Mapquest told me that a drive from one resort to another would take 10-11 minutes. It took 45 minutes to an hour each time we drove it. We tried driving through the park from the Tennessee side during warmer weather (FYI: Xmas is the busiest season), and it took three hours to get anywhere close to the park. Biggest use of the park's welcome center: to pee. Incidentally, we took the faster route. If you want to take a slower route, try the 'Gatlinburg Bypass'.

Don't try to do an entire drive-through of the Park via the other direction, either: the traffic backup to the Terrible Tennessee Trio begins while you're still inside the park in a section where you can't do turnarounds. Expect to creep for a couple of miles before you reach the park exit. Oh, and keep those windows rolled up. There are still bears in the Park, and they love potato chips.

I know, I know. All these complaints, and I've offered no solutions. I have one: create a public shuttle system that stops at the various resorts/hotels and malls/tourist attractions. Stick a giant Park n' Ride at the outskirts of Sevierville, too, so daytime visitors would have a legal place to leave their cars. Yes, this would require an enormous number of shuttles to cover the area effective. The system would be large enough, though, if everyone who wanted the shuttle to stop at their establishment had to pony up a few thousand dollars and pay an annual fee for maintenance. There are very few 'small' businesses in the area, and no one is selling anything on the cheap.

They'd all pay the fee to be included, to keep the customers coming in. It's not like you can just walk any more.

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Review: Full Dark, No Stars

2010-12-06T16:54:00.007-05:00

Full Dark, No Stars by Stephen King

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Stephen King is at the point in his career where he writes what he feels like writing, and publishes when he feels like publishing. In the Afterword to this collection, King states:

I have tried my best... to record what people might do, and how they might behave, under certain dire circumstances.

"1922" - 132 pages. This tale was the last one I read and required the most commitment to finish on my part. His inspiration was the photograph collection from the nonfiction book Wisconsin Death Trip. He hoped to capture some of the bleakness and isolation of the pictures in this story.

I believe he succeeded in doing this. Wilfred James certainly has a difficult life, made more so by a wife who wants to sell her land to a hog farmer, no matter the consequences to her husband's farm. Murder is the unsurprising result, with the somewhat reluctant assistance of James' son. This kicks off a series of events that culminate in an ending reminiscent of Poe, Lovecraft, or... er, Stephen King.

This story required the most commitment from me because I found it difficult to like any of the characters. King's portrayal of them isn't unrealistic or inaccurate; they are entirely believable. I just didn't like them, with the possible exception of the son's girlfriend. She was more sympathetic, but her existence and plight weren't really necessary to the core of the story. The interlude of her doomed romance with the son is more of a detour on the way to ruin.

"Big Driver" - 112 pages. This tale should prove very popular with female mystery readers and their fans. Tess, a cozy writer, is called to speak to a group after Janet Evanovich cancels. On a shortcut home through no-man's land, she is seized, raped, and left for dead. She finds her way back to safety, but she will never be the same. She cannot report what happened to her because of the damage it would do to her image as a cozy writer. The other option? Revenge, served Stephen King style.

I greatly enjoyed this story, especially with its salute to the writers' life and its nod to women mystery writers. Janet Evanovich is one of the most-read (and well-paid) living mystery writers, although the true mystery tends to center around whether she will hook up with Morelli or Ranger in the latest book. Tess outlines the presentation 'routine' of an author as she performs it. Later, she will talk to her cat... and the cat will talk back (an unfortunate occurrence in super-cozies). As she becomes increasingly not-cozy in outlook, she also talks to her GPS and the corpses of her victims. A fun read.

"Fair Extension" - 33 pages. This was the shortest, so I read this first. Yes, I am lazy.

Man dying of cancer makes a deal with Mr. "Elvid" to continue living. My comment: in Danse Macabre, King states that the horror reader has the moral sense of the average Puritan when it comes to who can (and should) have horrible things done to them. He did not invoke this rule when I thought he should. Not satisfied with the ending, but make your own judgment.

"A Good Marriage" - 103 pages. What do you do when you discover your husband is a serial killer? In the afterword, King cites the example of the BTK Killer: many people believed that his wife had to know what her husband was doing. King disagrees, and asks, "What if..."

I'm trying to think what to say about this story of Darcellen and her non-fun version of Dexter. I know it was a decent story, but I'd have to flip through it to come up with good or bad stuff. When I was trying to describe the stories in this collection to a friend, I had a mental block with this one: "And the other one, it was a good story, but... let me get the book. Oh, yeah... this is what it's about..." I think that tells me what I thought of it.

Time to assign some stars to this collection of novellas and one short story.

Overall? Four stars. I enjoyed the book overall and it gave me real pleasure to read it. Rating the individual stories...? Three stars for "1922", despite my complaints. If he meant to convey despair, he got what he wanted. Four stars for "Big Driver". Two stars for "Fair Extension". I would make it one for my dislike of the ending, but I save that for really crappy writing. Three stars for "A Good Marriage". It was a good story and it kept me turning pages. It just didn't stick with me.

View all my reviews

NaNoWriMo is Over: Now What?

2010-12-01T15:37:00.000-05:00

Let me confess now: I am a huge cheater and rebel when it comes to NaNoWriMo. I did start my current WIP during NaNo, but I have used it since to force myself to work on the same book intensively for at least one month out of the year.

Some other writers do this same thing, using the freedom and camaraderie of the event to get some serious writing done. I'm a serious introvert, but I love doing the write-ins. I get an excuse to drink coffee sweetened and creamed to shameful levels, swap war stories with other writers, and write side by side with other people.

There are a lot of true winners out there, though, people who began on 11/1 with zero words and had 50K written before 12/1. I've been congratulating them on Facebook, Twitter, and on the main NaNo site. You have a lot to be proud of, too! 50,000 words in one month is impressive. My personal best is about 14K, accomplished during NaNoWriMo (of course).

So... now what do you do with your magnum opus? Some people are content to write for themselves, but their numbers are a hell of a lot smaller than the numbers who want other people to read their material. If you're reading this blog based on the title, I know you fall into the latter category. Here are my suggestions and caveats for your new child:

Nota bene: The focus of NaNoWriMo, is quantity, not quality. They say so right in the intro material. This means it's time to work on the quality of your piece.

Not everyone gets this. A number of winners, flush with success and possibly an overdose of coffee, join AgentQuest immediately and start sending out their manuscripts as soon as they have some names and addresses. The NaNoWriMo blog addressed this last year:

In fact, several agents joke that December is "NaQuRejMo," which cruelly stands for "National Query Rejection Month." In all seriousness, though, we do see a lot of queries in December.

Take the time to reread and edit your work before sending it out. Once an agent has rejected your book, you don't get to resubmit it. Agents always have lots of other query letters and manuscripts to read. Take the best shot you can the first time.

Okay, so I've convinced you to review your novel. What should you be looking for?

First things first: you need to make it longer. Fifty thousand words is really good, but publishers are generally looking for novels that run somewhere between seventy to ninety thousand. The good news: when you reread your MS (manuscript), you will spot places where you didn't give enough description or need to add a bridge scene so the reader will know what the hell is going on. Yes, you'll find them, even if you thought you did way too much description in that one scene (shorten that scene, BTW).

Next: there's a good chance your main character is a Mary Sue. You may find her adventures scintillating, but no one else will (because they know it's about YOU and not THEM). I read one story where the main character got a hot tub for Christmas. Several people died during the novel, all in connection with water, so I assumed the heroine would find herself in mortal danger from its roiling waters before the end of the book. Nope, all her dips were heavenly. She just wanted a hot tub, so she gave one to her character.

Finally: NaNo tactics don't always adapt well to the world of publishing: Unless your story is set in Japan, you really need to delete that Wall of Ninjas scene you used to boost your word count. Come up with something else. Like I said, you don't want to submit your manuscript during December anyway. If you can do 50K in one month, I am sure you can make up the word count before January.

Once you begin rereading your MS, you will begin to feel certain emotions. Remember all those pep talks from the NaNo folks about the way you would be feeling when you hit certain word counts? Excited during the first 15K words, in the doldrums at 25K, plunging down the hillside at 40K? The feeling you will get when really reviewing your NaNo MS will make you remember 25K as a joyous time.

Why? Because you're going to be thinking: "OMG! This is so disjointed and repetitive! It has all sorts of plot holes! This is the worst sex scene ever! I used the wrong character's name at least six times! I can't spell worth a damn, and look at all those typos! I thought I'd made a few in my rush to finish, but wow! I suck as a writer!"

No, you don't. In fact, you're thinking like a real writer.

NaNoWriMo is all about the joy (or, in some cases, madness) of creation. You've given birth to something. Like most infants, though, it looks like a squalling mess on arrival and it needs to be cleaned off and clothed before you introduce it to the world around you.

There are a few authors that - bang, right out of the box - can produce a marvelous story. Most of them learned how to do it through practice. Everyone else is doing what you did - brazening it out for the first writing, then berating themselves when they realize how many do-overs are needed. That's okay. That's normal.

It's also something you need to do before you send your MS to an agent. If you want them to take you seriously, you need to take the writing seriously. Not during the first write-up, but afterwards. If you decide that you really were doing it 'just for fun', fine. No harm, no foul. Please don't send it to an agent, though. The self-publishing industry can help you make great Xmas presents for your friends.
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NaNoWriMo 2010

2010-11-19T20:18:00.000-05:00

I'm at it again.

What with all the excitement, I forgot to mention that I am participating in National Novel Writing Month again. I've never 'won' by getting 50,000 words written during the frenzy that is NaNoWriMo, but it always gives an amazing boost to my Work In Progress (WIP). I appear to be a gregarious writer, an adjective that one wouldn't usually apply to me. The write-ins with the local Wrimos and camaraderie I've found on Twitter are just great, not to mention the ideas and support I always get at the NaNoWriMo website.

I don't really follow 'the rules'... well, not every time. I did actually start one WIP during NaNoWriMo, but usually I use the month to beef up my word count on something I already have going. I can also tap the knowledge and suggestions of other Wrimos to add the proper details to my plots. If you want to know a good place to dump a body, someone in the Forums can tell you. If you want to know what the student ghetto at a specific university looks like, one of the Wrimos on Twitter can help you. If you hate yourself and want to die, there's a special forum just for you with people who will commiserate.

Right now, I'm working with a hero that really doesn't want to come across with his personality. I know his background, I know his opinion on certain things, I know what drives him, but he's just... dithering. Unfortunately, this means he resembles me in a way he shouldn't.

Guess what? There's a thread in the Forums where you can write to your characters. Here's my letter:

Dear Cade:

I'm finding it hard not to give up on you. I've been trying to write you for the last three years, but you keep dragging your heels.

I tried first person, which you wanted. You didn't come across with the bold action I know is hidden in you. You didn't even come across with lukewarm action. Nothing got written, and I've been depressed about it.

I know your background. I know what drives you - when you move, which seems to be never. I've gone to two plotting workshops to assist me in figuring out what to do with you. I have at least some rudimentary ideas, but you're not helping me out here. You just hang around my head, moping about what a great book you could be. I notice this doesn't actually lead to your helping me WRITE you.

Cade, or should I say Cad, I'm pissed. You won't help me write you, and you won't STFU and let me move on to more cooperative characters.

So... remember the head I stuck in your crawlspace last year? That was just smelly. This year, I'm threatening your job, your wallet, and possibly your family. I'm even thinking about killing Marina's cat and stuffing it in your gym bag. You are the Character, but I am the Goddess of your world. I answer to the Muses, but YOU answer to ME.

It's time to sh*t or get off the pot.

Will this work? Maybe, maybe not. But I know the other Wrimos will get a good laugh out of it, and it was fun to write. That's what NNWM is all about. Writing.

Pulmonary Hypertension: Update on My Father

2010-11-16T15:43:00.003-05:00

Once again, it's Pulmonary Hypertension Blogging Awareness Day. If you read my post last year, you know that my father has this disorder.

Time for an update: Dad is using the oxygen tank more frequently. After a stretch of 'holding steady', he had a serious drop in heart/lung function this fall. He's been having trouble getting out of his chair, being lightheaded when he stands, and having to rest/nap after even mild exertion.

As far as I can tell, he has gone from Class 2 to Class 3 pulmonary hypertension. This is not a good thing. The doctor has been trying Revatio with him. Never heard of it? Yes, you have... its other name is Viagra. Unfortunately, it has no fun 'side effects' for him.

Dad says that it's not working very well in other ways, either. He isn't as bad off as he was, but he's still not functioning well. The doc didn't think the Revatio would perform very well, but he wanted to see if it made a difference before moving on to stronger drugs - the sort with the FDA black box warning.

Now, my father is hoping to get onto Tracleer. It's strongly counterindicated for pregnant women (not an issue for a man in his seventies) and people with liver problems. In some cases, it can actually damage your liver. It is only doled out in 30-day allotments at a time by certified doctors and authorized pharmacies, and patients must have monthly liver function tests. Yes, that dangerous.

Oh, and expensive! It could easily cost him over $600 a month with health insurance. Or so he says. He also said 'a little under 14K a year', so I think he's lowballing for my sake. Meanwhile, he's taking 2 Revatio a day instead of 3 so he won't have to buy more before he sees the doctor about the Tracleer.

Since this is a degenerative condition with no cure, eventually Tracleer will not be effective either. The next step will be continuous subcutaneous or intravenous medication with a pump.

It's a sad decline to watch. On the other hand, I have been blessed to have him for this long. It's been five years since his diagnosis. By this time, half the people diagnosed with PH are already dead.

To learn more about Pulmonary Hypertension, click here.

Review: Suspense by Parnell Hall

2010-11-13T20:18:00.003-05:00

Suspense by Parnell Hall

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Parnell Hall sets up the rules for writing suspense in this novel: literally. Kenneth P. Winnington, husband of Stanley Hastings' new client, writes suspense novels for a living and is happy to share them: Don't write in first person. Don't use a continuing character. Don't let the hero know the danger he's in.

Parnell Hall breaks all these rules in the commission of this novel, including one more, but revealing it here would give away the ending.

View all my reviews

MY BOOK HAS A PUBLISHER!

2010-11-09T09:32:00.000-05:00

I received the good news last night. Pill Hill Press has accepted my first (completed) novel and will publish it in 2011. I am dancing on air! Okay, would you believe the carpet?

Gwen, Karen, and I toasted the good news last night with Code Red Mountain Dew. Hey, it's blood-colored... if you're the Kool-Aid Man.

The title is All This and Family, Too. Lesbian vampire moves her family into a gated community in Southern California. There, she learns the meaning of true horror.

Any suggestions for 2011 conventions and potential reviewers would be appreciated. I need to plan ahead.

Huzzah!

Dressed to the Nines at Magna Cum Murder

2010-11-06T22:56:00.000-04:00

Gwen and I at Magna cum Murder

If you've never been to Magna cum Murder, you're missing a great con. It's certainly not on the grand scale of a Bouchercon or Left Coast Crime, but it's a lot more intimate. You have a much better chance of speaking one-on-one with the featured authors, getting a seat at a panel discussion, and they even feed you!

Since it took place over Halloween, costumes were encouraged for the Saturday night banquet. Gwen and I went all out, deciding to go as Baby Face Nelson and "Darla", his moll. We picked up the jacket and gown from Goodwill, the garter holster and feather boa from the Halloween store, and the purple pistol from Meiers. Gwen made my headdress herself. To complete the costume, I had to reacquaint myself with some of the feminine arts: lipstick, makeup, and leg-shaving. That last is definitely not in the Lesbian Handbook.

Gwen was pleased with my look, though. She took several pictures. Later, I discovered that crossing your legs in a slit dress means your lap is covered and everything else is exposed. One is definitely not going online. I looked like a Georgia O'Keefe painting: petals spread wide, and stamens hanging out!

At the banquet, they had the people in costumes parade around so everyone could see them. Prizes were also given out. I am afraid that we lost out to "Bonnie and Clyde", who had professional costumes. Several people told us afterward that we were robbed. Even so, we had a great time.

Perhaps I'll be able to write more about Magna later. NaNoWriMo is taking most of my 'spare' time at the moment.

My Top 15 Novels

2010-10-21T15:05:00.001-04:00

This is the meme: Fifteen novels you've read that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than 15 minutes.

Here is my list, in no particular order:

Nine Princes in Amber by Roger Zelazny - First book of the Amber series: I was sold on it by Page 2. It got me to try my hand at writing fiction again instead of comic book stories.

The Heritage of Hastur by Marion Zimmer Bradley - Women like her writing better than men do... well, straight men.

A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett - Cinderella story + similarly named heroine + heroine liked to make up cool stories. What's not to love?

Carrie by Stephen King - I was eleven when this book came out. I loved the notion of telekinesis - even had a set of the Rhine ESP cards - but the language and sexual content of this novel took me out of the realm of kiddie books.

The Far Side of Evil by Sylvia Louise Engdahl - original version. This one also took me out of the realm of kiddie books, but without sex or foul language. One of my early exposures to adult versions of cruelty.

Shutter Island by Dennis LeHane - This book was a major mind-screw. I loved it. Movie true to the novel, also great.

The Sandman, Vol. 7: Brief Lives - I loved Delirium. No one who knows me will be surprised by this.

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeline L'Engle - Best explanation of the 4th dimension that I ever read.

Startide Rising by David Brin - Nonhuman intelligent species don't always think the way we do.

Escape to Witch Mountain by Alexander Key - These kids are gifted and different from other kids. They live in a cruel world that confuses them. Finally, they find 'their people' and become happy. A parallel for real-life misfits.

The Other by Thomas Tryon - What a vile book! Harvest Home was also good, but this one sticks with me more, perhaps because I read it first.

Tales of the Unexpected by Roald Dahl - screw Willy Wonka. I can dream up my own Candyland.

The Best of H.P. Lovecraft by H. P. Lovecraft - "The Silver Key" will always be my favorite. Lovecraft's manifesto against mundane thinking.

The Other Side of Tomorrow, collected by Roger Elwood - edges out Dystopian Visions. Elwood glutted the SF market in the 70s with anthologies. I read every one I could get my hands on.

Red Dragon by Thomas Harris - Yes, I also enjoyed Silence of the Lambs. This one explores the pathology of its villain in greater depth.

I did give this more than 15 minutes of thought, I confess. I've read a lot of books in my life. Some of the books above are collections of short stories, rather than novels. One is a graphic novel. Just be grateful I didn't list the entire Phoenix saga from the X-Men. All of these books either sparked my creativity or took my mind in a new direction. Sometimes I learned new (and not always nice) ways of thinking. Startide Rising stretched it in alien yet idealistic ways, Red Dragon drew me down into the pit.

Most of the lists I've seen in this meme, and others like it, contain works of great literature: Catcher in the Rye, Tom Sawyer, the periphrastic and boring Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. I'm sure many of these people are telling the truth, but sometimes I suspect they just list the books they were forced to read in school. I make no pretensions to reading good literature. I read fiction for pleasure, not to become 'cultured'. That's what my schools and my parents were for. The books above have special meaning for me in one way or another.

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A racial question

2010-10-15T15:55:00.006-04:00

I’ve been messing around with an idea for a novel for a couple of years. At its core, it’s a thriller with paranormal elements. Think Dean Koontz, though, more than Stephanie Meyer. No vampires in this one, no young hunk (or heroine) as the lead.

From his inception, I’ve thought of the character as having a psychic talent... and as biracial (black* and white, in this case). He’s not John Aleron, if you’ve read that character’s stories. This is someone new.

Now, I’m starting to wonder if this is such a good idea. One reason: most of the paranormal and thriller readers I’ve met over the years have been white in overwhelming numbers. Would publishers even consider a story centering around a biracial male character? I’m not saying all white readers are horrible racists who hate blacks… but publishers might be afraid that the reader base might not 'connect' with the character.

A second reason: how many quirks should I give this character? My spouse tells me that a mistake she often sees are authors who make a character quirky in so many ways that getting a ‘handle’ on them is difficult for the reader. Is paranormal + male + biracial too much?

A third reason: I am neither black nor biracial. My character would be raised in a predominantly white environment for various reasons, including the income of his family. The more money your family has in the USA, the more likely you are to be living around white people. Would black readers find my writing this character offensive? I was exposed to the poorer segment of the black population when I was a kid, but there is a big difference between knowing black people and knowing what it’s like to 'be black'.

At Magna Cum Murder in 2008, I had the pleasure of meeting Austin Camacho. He sat on a panel that dealt with writing characters who are unlike oneself in many ways. Austin is African-American and male. The character he was discussing was female and Irish. I pointed out that this was a character who differed from him in gender, race, nationality, and possibly religion as well. She was also an ex-jewel thief, but I don’t know what Austin’s past hobbies may have been.

Austin explained that a character could be very unlike his or her author in some ways, but share experiences that the author was quite capable of describing and exploring. My character, being biracial and older (around fifty years of age), would have been confronted daily with the same situation I had while growing up: not fitting in. I was an intellectual living in a significantly illiterate state, a liberal among conservatives, a lesbian and a Pagan among fundamentalist Christians. My hero would have some of these social disadvantages as well, plus the additional difference of being biracial. Someone like me could hide personality differences by keeping my mouth shut, but racial heritage is usually self-evident.

To me, the notion of a psychic who would not only feel the ‘usual’ emotions of the people around him, but also the attitudes towards his race, is very compelling. We have been educated to ‘not see race’ in this day and age, but when we meet someone of another race in real life we often stumble over the baggage of our upbringing. My hero would be aware of that stumbling on a regular basis. Is this patronizing on my part?

What do you think?

* I use the term 'black' instead of 'African-American' because the latter is a) long, and b) acknowledges that there are black people beside African-Americans. I refer to Austin as an African-American because I'm comparing him to an Irish jewel thief.

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Circle of Dishonor: a Spouse's Review

2010-10-07T11:40:00.005-04:00

My wife's first novel.

I think this is a great book, but I have a serious bias. Here are some things I enjoy, though:

1. The heroine is not posing as a man in order to follow the man she loves or to avoid being married off. She took up the masquerade to get her man, not 'get a man'.

2. The secret society involved in this post-Civil War intrigue is not the Ku Klux Klan. The KKK were active, but not the only group in operation.

3. The story is set in a very exciting and turbulent time of Kentucky's history, one that is underrepresented in fiction. Between the Regulators, the Klan, and the feuds, one could set hundreds of stories here without running out of material. Gwen brings up some of this history without being pedantic.

4. The story has classic noir elements without being set in a 'noir' era or featuring a Sam Spade ripoff. You have the alienated private eye who keeps booze in a convenient drawer. You have the hooker with the heart of gold. You even have organized crime, although it is a different sort of 'mob'.

5. The 'current' plan of the villains is truly dastardly. I won't give it away and spoil the fun.

Want to draw your own conclusions? Go to gwenmayo.com and click on the link to read a sample from the novel. I don't think you'll be disappointed.

Difficult to Swallow

2010-09-28T18:13:00.001-04:00

Magic Mouthwash, sans Magic

Saturday night, I got food stuck in my esophagus. Answer to most asked question at this point: pork chops. Second question: bone-in. Third question: No, I was not gnawing on the bone. I think maybe I missed one of those tiny bone slivers that chops sometimes have. All I know is, it hurt and I couldn't swallow after that.

Part of story that matters: They ran a tube down my throat. Between that and the original problem, my throat/esophagus is (still) raw and sore. P.S. when they do this, they also take samples of your esophagus for Pathology. Ow.

So... one doc gave me a script for some 'magic mouthwash'. MM has lidocaine in it, which is supposed to kill pain and help me eat. I went to Rite Aid when they opened, got the script filled, went home. Shook bottle, took mouthwash. I noted that it was pretty thick at the time. Ate soup, went to take a nap. P.S. no codeine in this particular MM, but I was pretty tired.

Woke up from nap, went to get MM, only to discover that it had SET like gelatin in the bottle! I called the pharmacy, but the pharmacist is gone for the day (Sunday after 6 PM, go figure). I called Monday and got a sleepy-sounding tech. He didn't understand what 'set' meant, but understood "won't come out of the f---ing bottle" just fine. He told me the pharmacist would come on duty at 3 PM.

No pharmacist until 3 PM? On a weekday, when Rite Aid purports to be a chain of DRUGSTORES? What kind of BS is that? At the very least, they ought to have someone on duty at one of their local stores the tech could refer me to.

When I did get hold of the pharmacist, he was a very nice fellow. It turned out that UK had given them the 'recipe' for the MM, but their instructions, apparently unclear, were to dispense it in TWO bottles... because the components 'set' when you combine them. I was given two bottles with instructions to mix them in certain proportions. And I don't even cook!

It's a good thing I diet. Otherwise, I wouldn't be familiar with measuring spoons at all. So far, so good: I haven't killed myself. I just wish I could eat tastier stuff than non-medicinal Jell-O.

-

TV Detectives in Days of Yore

2010-09-12T13:08:00.001-04:00

We picked up a few back issues of Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine and Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine at our Sisters in Crime chapter meeting yesterday. One of them, AHMM June 2005, has an interview with William Link (of Levinson & Link fame). The focus of the interview was on the television series Murder, She Wrote, then fresh out on DVD. Near the end of the article, Link bemoans the ageism that plagues the TV industry. He claimed even people in their forties were having problems (I'm riding the ragged edge of disaster in that case!) getting networks to look at their stuff. He also talked about hit shows like Columbo no longer being possible because of the focus on forensics.

Naturally, I went into the other room to discuss this with my spouse, who is even less qualified to write for television than I am, despite her superior writing credits. Only the inexperienced need apply, I suppose.

I proposed that one could do a series similar to, say, the old Ellery Queen: one old detective, one young detective. Perhaps the older detective would be the old-school detective, some grizzled police detective, and the young detective could be the forensics person. If Link were younger and had started writing in a different era, he might have had a Columbo that was savvier to high-tech. Certainly my favorite detective paid strict attention to details, and the show's villains came up with some clever, frequently technologically based, alibis.

Gwen proposed that the TV character closest to J.B. Fletcher now was Richard Castle. Very true! He has the same 'worldwide fame' and a talent for solving crimes. Fortunately, he's in a bigger town than Cabot Cove. I said that it would be a great team-up to bring J.B. Fletcher to the Castle show. The only disadvantage is the difference in networks. ABC would need to get permission from CBS to use the character.

"What they ought to do," Gwen said, "is put her at the table with the other writers during one of his poker sessions. She could do a cameo." She also felt that Jessica should have all the chips in front of her during the scene.

They wouldn't even have to identify her character. TV mystery buffs would KNOW. Anyone got an 'in' with Angela Lansbury or ABC?

Those Naughty, Naughty WIPs

2010-09-08T17:37:00.000-04:00

The Writers Who Kill put a rather provocative post up yesterday: "I Hate My WIP". For those of you not familiar with writing jargon, WIP stands for "Work in Progress". I found a great relief in reading this article and realizing that I was not alone.

I hate my WIP up till the first draft is done. Then, it's: "OMG! I finished it! I did it! How wonderful! Yippee!" Dancing around.

Unfortunately, this is followed by revisions. Maternal adoration turns to diaperish (?) disgust. "There's a lot of crap in here! Yecch! PLEASE don't make me touch it! No! It's ugly! Ugly and full of crap! I can't send this ANYWHERE!"

Eventually (years later?) I have the WIP cleaned up and dressed nicely (i.e. I followed the submission guidelines). I send it out into the world, only to receive a note from the teacher: "Rejected." I search WIP/child for more crap; I know it's in there somewhere. That's the problem with babies, literary or physical.

After a few more rejects: WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY WIP? Isn't it cute enough? Maybe it should be blonde with a frilly dress. I don't think I can dress it like that, it would bite me. By the time I got it into that pink outfit, I'd need to update the technology in the story again (this has happened to me more than once). I detest my WIP; no one wants it. It's too gangly and funny-looking to be loved.

So, now, I have a freakish orphanage in my house (or, at least, my memory stick). My WIPs meep and chirp and drive me nuts. Periodically, though, one gets adopted. I send the lucky child off with relief and joy, but there's always that nagging feeling that I could have done better with it. Therein lies the true problem: the WIP stays a WIP until it's published. You will never be through with it.

So, once it becomes a true 'work', why do we want it back to make one last change?

Reunion Ruminations

2010-09-02T16:42:00.000-04:00

This weekend, I will be attending my 30th high school reunion. I missed the 25th (not an accident), but a number of my old classmates discovered me on Facebook and it looks like I will have people to talk to. I find this very odd, since I barely remember some of them, but they seem to remember me.

Honestly, I'd hoped to have more trappings of success by this time. Oh, not a Lexus or a $500 outfit, but results of lifetime endeavors. A Master's, perhaps, or a Ph.D. The subject matter would be less important than the magical acronyms.

You see, I was one of those children cursed with being 'smart'. Usually, being smart makes my life easier. Most of my remarkably stupid decisions have been made based on emotions, not ignorance or an inability to draw conclusions. Most remarkably stupid decisions are made based on emotions, but I've saved myself from investing in silver or mixing Clorox and ammonia. Doing my day job is easier because I love information and learn new things quickly.

It's the expectations of being 'smart' that I must live down. When I graduated from high school, I visualized myself getting a degree in engineering and doing something cool like designing space shuttles. I would get a good-paying job and acquire the respect of my peers. Most importantly, I would write books. Lots of them. Probably science fiction, since that's where my experience would lie.

It didn't pan out that way. I realized, within a short time, that hard science drove me nuts. Not only was it hair-pulling difficult (even for someone who got a 33 in science on the ACT), I didn't find it especially interesting. I tried genetics for a while (thank you, X-Men), but came to the conclusion that I enjoyed reading science fiction more than doing actual science. Instead, I got a degree in journalism with a minor in psychology, since that was the subject I took more consistently than any other.

So... I just wrote lots of books then, correct? No. Despite the pressure from my internal sense of 'destiny', I avoided it like the plague. Writing is so important to my self-definition that I didn't seriously try fiction until I was nearly thirty. Writing fiction makes me want to Run Screaming Into the Night (tm). I edited two Pagan newsletters and was a credentialed blogger for the 2008 Democratic National Convention, so it's not expository writing that gives me trouble. It's fiction, my putative raison d'etre.

At least I have a manuscript now. I haven't sold it yet, but actually writing a book is a major victory in my... er, book. I have a few short story credits to my name.

I know I did better than some of my fellow grads. I'm employed, I have a house, and I've stayed out of prison. Right now, though, I feel like my biggest success was marrying well.

Is it time?

2010-08-26T22:30:00.001-04:00

After putting it off for the first seven months of the year, I finally finished revising my novel. Now, to send it out. Again.

Oh, boy.

Time to face rejection again, or at least its possibility. I know I write decently, but it's not a book of great moment or even a charming cozy. It's a silly vampire story I started before the market began drowning in vampire stories. It's not a mystery or a paranormal romance. No sparkling, brooding hunks, no sophisticated femme fatales.

How can I possibly sell this?

I've wanted to be an author since at least fifth grade. Before then, even, but that was when I was first asked in class and the words came to my lips. To give myself credit, I said 'science fiction writer', not 'the next Faulkner' (yecch). Vampire astronomer probably isn't that far off the mark.

The anxiety is horrible to endure, though, as is the pain of rejection. I shouldn't be surprised at how long it took me to revise, considering what I have to face. My baby is funny-looking and has fangs. Maybe only a mother can love it.

But, like a parent, I must send it into the world. This is the proper endpoint of parenthood.

Lessons I learned from Gwen's launch party

2010-08-10T21:40:00.000-04:00

Gwen and I at the book launch!

Monday night, Gwen and I threw the launch party for Circle of Dishonor. It was wildly successful, especially in comparison to Parnell Hall's lament (detailed in an earlier post). We had well over fifty people drop by the ultra-hip bistro Natasha's to celebrate with us and, in most cases, purchase a copy of the book.

We made back the money we invested in the first shipment of books, which will of course go immediately towards purchasing another shipment for Gwen's next signing. I also learned some important things to pass along to folks who haven't had the pleasure of launching a novel yet:

Bring plenty of pens. The author needs at least two good pens, and the person writing the receipts needs one, too (you will be writing receipts to show when you get audited, right?). You will also need spares to set out for check writers who have nothing to write with. None of our pens walked away, but it's best to be prepared.

Bring change, and lots of it. Unless your book is really expensive or a hardback, people will give you a Yuppie Food Stamp (aka a $20 bill) and you will need to make change... again and again.

Try to avoid the night before school starts. Some of your customers will need to attend parent meetings instead of your event. No, my parents never did this either, but things have changed.

The unexpected is not always a bad thing. Natasha's had scheduled a pianist for the same time slot as our book launch. I was worried that this meant no one would be able to hear Gwen or each other, but the music proved a pleasant background for our munching and socializing guests. Gwen spoke to the pianist before things got rolling and he 'took five' while she greeted everyone and read an excerpt from the book. Later, our gathering was referred to as 'classy' by one guest.

You will be mistaken for staff. You're sitting at a table in a central area, you have inventory, and a cash box. Of course you work there. Be nice to these people; they don't know you're a soon-to-be-famous author. Plus, the site host doesn't want you wrecking their usual business. Just fetch the waitress.

You will need to go out for food or have something to warm up at home, because you will be too busy to eat any of the spread you've set out for your guests. Gwen got two cubes of cheese, I got a sprig of grapes. That was it.

The caterer will add a gratuity charge to his/her quoted price. This is for the aggravation value of pouring drinks, refilling the platters, etc.

The key to the lockbox will drop to the most inaccessible spot in your purse or pocket, just when you need it. Tiny, isn't it?

And, finally...

Your bank is more alert than you think. The day after the party, Gwen got a call from her bank requesting that she verify a large charge to Natasha's made on Monday night. Yes, she owned up to it.

We had a great time; I hope you do, too.

Acting on the Intent to Sell

2010-08-01T23:01:00.001-04:00

Jeffrey Marks and Carolyn Melvin

Gwen Mayo and I drove up to Columbus this past weekend to see Jeffrey Marks' presentation based on his third edition of Intent to Sell. The presentation and subsequent book signing were hosted by the Columbus chapter of Sisters in Crime.

Many authors dream of the day when a publisher will accept their novel for publication. Once that Big Day comes, though, their work is not over. Instead, they find themselves taking on a new job: promoter. J.B. Fletcher may have had publicists and handlers, but in the real world authors are their own first advocates.

Jeff touched on several aspects of promotion, including the necessity for the author to have a web site, and began enumerating its contents. Naturally, I thought of the site I've been working on for Gwen.

Good photo on the site? Check.

Pic of book cover? Check.

Three versions of what the book is about? Er... three? Where do I fit them?

Two versions of the bio, one short, one long. What about one that's in between? Hmm. I might have to get back to him on that.

Obviously, Gwen and I still have some work to do.

As one of our exercises, Jeff asked us to sit down and write a bio for ourselves, choosing which length we wanted to try. I have a few short snappy ones, so I decided to try for a longer one for myself. It certainly wasn't as impressive as Marks': books published, awards awarded, etc. Humble as it is, however, I present it here:

Sarah E. Glenn wanted to grow up to be Kolchak. As an adult, she got a B.S. in Journalism, which is redundant if you think about it. She specializes in weird stories of all sorts. They’ve appeared in G.W. Thomas’ Ghostbreakers series, Mystery in Mind, an anthology from the Rhine Institute, and two will soon appear in Daily Flash 2011, a flash fiction anthology from Pill Hill Press.

Sarah is also a member of Sisters in Crime and belongs to the Ohio River Valley chapter. Her story “Party to a Fall” appears in the chapter’s Low Down and Derby anthology, and she’s also had stories published in Futures Mysterious Anthology Magazine. "Patch Test", a medical mystery, was a finalist in Crossed Genres' 2010 "Science in my Fiction" competition.

Sarah E. Glenn’s novel, All This and Family, Too, has very little to do with the above except for Kolchak, because it has vampires in it. Please don’t cringe.

If only I had the book contract to go with the bio... At least I'm getting a head start on the publicity.

There's rejection, and then there's Rejection!

2010-07-21T09:39:00.000-04:00

I am happy to report that I've never gotten as harsh a rejection letter as the ones in this book. The young woman featured early in the video doesn't understand that rejections to writers are best done via letter, because slush pile readers get stalked sometimes (check out pages 2 and 3 of this article). Let's be honest, some writers are whack jobs. More of us would be if it weren't for the invention of psychotropic medications.

My wife specializes in receiving 'nice' rejection letters - you know, the ones that tell you what a wonderful writer you are, but your story doesn't fit for whatever reason. She didn't know whether to be flattered or frustrated as hell. Fortunately, she recently received the most important acceptance of all and her first novel is on sale.

When I get rejected, I get form letters. When I don't get form letters from an editor, it's because they take issue with something in my story. Yes, I know that I should take these to heart and correct my mistakes. I do correct those mistakes, but there isn't enough Lexapro in the world to salve the pain of a writer who takes rejection to heart. No wonder writers are famous for drinking.

Have you ever gotten an exceptionally vile rejection letter?

Writer's Version of Don't Ask-Don't Tell, Part II

2010-07-17T22:39:00.002-04:00

I got real comments from my last blog on this subject, which went to my head. Actual readers! I had a suggestion from my spouse shortly thereafter, and I overheard another frequently asked question today, while she was discussing her new book. They've been burning a hole in my writing pocket since:

Why don't you write about (subject that has nothing to do with your projects)? You'd be really good at it. (I could do a horror story about dry socket, too, but I have no inclination to do that, either.)

Why don't you do ___ with your character? (This generates one of two responses: a) because that's idiotic, or b) great idea, but now I can't do it because you'd demand to 'split the profits'. Ain't happening.)

You based this character on me, didn't you? (Trust me, if I did, you wouldn't have to ask. I've written roman à clef before. I give 'tells'. Like a character who thinks everything is about her.)

You based this character on (other friend or relative), didn't you? (See above. However, if it makes you happy to think I've zinged Uncle Fred, go ahead.)

Why do you bother writing? You're never going to make any money at it. (Neither does watching TV, drinking, or smoking. In other words, f--k off.)

Haven't you finished that book yet? (DAMN YOU TO HELL!)

Another question I get a lot: What is your book about? I've decided that although this got annoying after the third person asked, it gives me the chance to practice my 'pitch'.

Perhaps I should talk about annoying questions writers get from other writers next. Unfortunately, I'm probably the asker.

Another question that came up in the comments from the first article: You're a writer? Where have you been published? Naturally, not all writers are published authors. This doesn't mean they're not writers, it just means they don't have published works yet.

I don't have a snappy answer for this one. Do you know why? Because I rarely told people outside the writing community of my ambitions until I was published. I received too many negative comments about wanting to be a writer while I was growing up. As an adult, I didn't spring that little secret on non-writers without something to show for it. By the time I 'came out' as an author at work, I'd edited two Pagan newsletters, received some local recognition as a political blogger, and had several published stories.

I salute the unpublished writers who are willing to 'go public' and deal with this last question. You're braver than I am. Might I suggest that you simply tell them that you're still revising your novel?

I Write Like WHO?

2010-07-13T20:22:00.002-04:00

UPDATE: The analysis results
give you a come-on for a vanity publisher. The analysis itself is pretty fun, though!

I write like
Chuck Palahniuk

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

To quote Jon Stewart: "I s--t you not."

I've never even seen the movie Fight Club, much less read anything of Palahniuk's. One of the people at Coding Robots described the analysis process as follows: "It's the statistics of words, sentences, etc."

My stories include lesbian vampires, hospice workers doubling as occult detectives, and malicious misuse of nanotechology. None of them are peppered with S & M or people beating each other up for fun. Most of the time, in fact, my main characters would be leading quiet, productive lives (or unlives) if people would just stop messing with them.

I asked Coding Robots if Palahniuk used a lot of sarcasm. The response: "If only iwl could detect sarcasm :) ".

Addendum: I Write Like has added several new authors to their repertoire in the last few days. I still write like Chuck Palahniuk.

The Writer's Version of Don't Ask-Don't Tell

2010-07-13T15:52:00.000-04:00

Click to see full-sized cartoon at Inkygirl's site!
Used with permission from Debbie Ridpath Ohi at Inkygirl.com.

Inkygirl has put her pencil nib on a few of the annoying things writers (especially non-famous ones) deal with when their non-writing friends learn that they are writers.

Here are ones I've heard, with less-than-polite truthful answers:

I have this great idea for a book. (Unless you are another writer, 99% chance it's not. If you are a writer, 85% chance it's not. Please limit your pitch to query-letter length.)
Why don't you make my great idea into a book, and we can split the profits? (Why don't YOU write it, since it's your story? If you expect ME to write it, that split will be 1% to you for inspiration and 99% to me for perspiration, as per Thomas Edison.)
I had this dream last night. I'm sure it would make a great book. (Gaaahhh! Please, please don't tell it to me!)
Let me tell you about it in great detail. (Nooooo! Please stop! Why didn't I schedule that root canal for today? I'm sure there's a dentist somewhere that works on Saturday.)
Where do you get your ideas? (Good ideas come from the Muses. Not sure where the f--- mine come from, but people aren't buying them. Oh, wait, I have these dreams... let me tell YOU about my latest one in great detail.)
Writing is easy. You just get an idea and write it down. (Yeah, which is why it took three years to write my first novel and why my psychiatrist is trying 60mg of Lexapro on me for my 'existential angst').
I'd like to write a novel. If only I had the time like you do. (Based on your blow-by-blow description of "Jersey Couture", I'd say that you DO have the time. There are authors who've finished books while working two jobs, raising children, etc. It's not time, it's the trouble that stops you. Come to think of it, that's why it took me three years to write my first novel.)
Once you sell that novel, you'll be able to sit back and let the royalties roll in. (You really don't know anything about the publishing industry or the current book market, do you? Thanks for your confidence, though.)

If any writers out there are reading this post (is that crickets I hear?), please add the questions and comments YOU'D rather not hear again. I need to be prepared.

Old Spice

2010-07-12T16:55:00.001-04:00

Recently, The Poison Review (an excellent resource site) reported: "Fox News discovers nutmeg abuse".

Teenagers have figured out that large amounts of nutmeg can make you high.

Video w/2010's Spice Girl

This is not a new discovery; the knowledge has been around for a while. Something that the TV spot didn't mention is the indigestion that goes along with consuming substantial amounts of caustic spices.

Back in a previous model of yours truly, around Sarah 3.0 (I'm on at least 6.0 now), I worked at the reports desk of my local police department. We processed mostly crime reports, but every once in a while we would get a report on someone who had harmed themselves in a weird way. Nutmeg featured prominently in one of them.

Circa 1990, two young men decided to reach a legal high via eggnog decoration. They visited their pusher of choice, the local Kroger's, where they purchased one box of nutmeg and two half-gallons of milk. These fellows tried, tried to plan ahead - honest! When they got back to their place in UK's student ghetto, they divided the Banda Island gold between the two containers of milk. They covered and shook the contents vigorously, then chugged them down.

The report didn't specify whether they got high or not. It did specify, however, that they began puking uncontrollably. This was waaaayy past too much baklava. The two guys visited the local ER, where the staff immediately became suspicious. They'd begun throwing up only two hours ago...? They didn't know why they were sick, but they thought they needed medical help...? That set the BS alarms off, and the staff wormed the story out of the young men.

A report was filed with the police, but, really, these young men had broken no laws outside of digestive ones. They had already been punished, though, for their culinary creativity.

Signing in the Waldenbooks by Parnell Hall

2010-07-07T15:39:00.000-04:00

I got clued into this video by John Clawitter's blog on 1st Turning Point. Parnell Hall is best known for his Puzzle Lady mysteries, but I'm fonder of Stanley Hastings. There's a lot of Parnell's own personality (and background) in Stanley, especially in the book Juror (click here for a sample read).

Part of why I'm thinking about Parnell's song is because my wife's book, Circle of Dishonor, is about to come out in print. She's setting up launch parties, and I'm working on her web site (please note there's no link for this yet). We're also hoping to line up some signing gigs... but I hope we have better luck than Parnell.

I sure hope Gwen is too busy to see this, come to think of it.

2010-06-23T18:39:00.001-04:00

Good news! My short story, "Co-Pay", will be appearing in Daily Flash 2011, an upcoming anthology from Pill Hill Press. Gwen Mayo also has a story appearing in the collection.

I hope you will all take a look, because they will be publishing Gwen's first novel later this summer!

The anthology is still open for submissions, so why don't you join us?

It's not the same on paper

2010-05-04T17:15:00.107-04:00

The Last Psychiatrist graced us with The Copenhagen Interpretation of Lost recently. If you don't know who TLP is, he/she is a blogger who psychoanalyzes popular culture and, occasionally, the people who make the news.

If, like me, you didn't know what the Copenhagen interpretation was, I will greatly oversimplify it for you: every item out there has a set number of places it could be right now. If you actually measure the item, the possibilities of its location are immediately shrunk by the act of measuring.

Um... okay. So perception creates reality?

The Last Psychiatrist applies this notion to Lost, which has parallel universes. Confession: I've never seen Lost, but my previous experience with the Chronicles of Amber has made me familiar with parallel universes.

In this case, all possibilities exist before you (to varying probabilities), but once a selection has been made, all other choices are obliterated. Reality becomes a series of successive obliterations of potential realities. Just like middle age!
...
The point, for Lost, is that by having Desmond, Charlie, Jack, et al become aware of this other universe (e.g. Desmond's flash of Charlie drowning in the car) they are not jumping to the other universe, but in fact obliterating the one they are in, in favor of the other (Copenhagen interpretation.) This makes Locke/Smoke Monster's desire to leave the island, and the feared consequences ("everything will cease to be") more accurate. Locke isn't just changing universes, he is causing that one to obliterate.

Comparing it to middle age was very cold, but also very accurate. The older you get, the more choices you make. The more choices you make, the narrower your options are in the future. That's not entirely bad, by the way. You can cut down on a lot of bad outcomes through good planning and self-care.

Middle age, though, really seems to be when people start noticing the limitations on their future. Turning thirty is all about taking that 'last chance' with your youthful dreams. Turning fifty is more like getting a Triptik from AAA (showing my age with that reference, too!) showing where your future trouble spots are on the Highway of Life: You're really fat and have been for a while. Better watch that blood sugar... Your parents had cataracts. Squinting a lot lately? Your work history is clerical, and your degree is in journalism. You're probably not going to get a job in top administration anywhere, ever, especially since ageism is rampant and you're part of the wrong profile.

Oh, and you will die. You're just trying to control when, how, and what your circumstances will be.

I find the notion interesting, though, and think that writing fiction is an equally good example of the Copenhagen interpretation. When the story is still in your head, it is lovely and numinous - or evil and dastardly, for horror and mystery writers. Once you begin writing things down, though, concretizing those details necessary to creating a story, it comes thudding to earth. You have to name characters. You have to figure out how someone could introduce poison into a hormone patch. If you set the story in a fake town, you have to make up realistic-sounding details. If you set your story in a real town, you have to look up details. And, of course, all this is mere backdrop for the most important question of all: would Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine pay me to publish this?

One point in the writer's favor: Life always ends with death, but acceptance at AHMM still falls in the realm of possibility, no matter how remote that possibility is for some people (I won't name names). Maybe that's why I began seriously writing during the middle of a severe depression. If I felt like dying, what harm could a mere rejection slip inflict? (FYI, I now know the answer to this question.)

Another advantage: unlike life, 'past events' are malleable in a story... until it is published. You can change things around till you 'win'! Once it's in print, of course, it's set. If it's a standalone, no problem. Series character? The facts of the current story will limit certain things for future stories, but hey - it's still published. You're loved, and you win!

The drawback? It's going to be flawed. You brought it to earth, and now it's mortal. Every time you create or recreate the backstory, it limits what is feasible for the characters accordingly. The story will never be as lovely as it felt in your head, because defining it is the sun that burns off the morning mist. And people wonder why writers kill themselves...

We begin our own existence with numinous pictures of what our life will be like. In childhood, all things are possible, even becoming a superhero or a robot. This becomes tempered by the time we reach adolescence. Becoming a rock star or a model is possible, but we have some notion of what's 'unrealistic'. Many years later, we remember these younger times fondly - not necessarily because we had a good childhood or an enjoyable adolescence, but because we remember how wide open to greatness we felt.

Can we recapture that optimism somehow? Or does it only exist in ignorance and inaction? Because those are the only ways to 'beat' the Copenhagen Interpretation, whether in writing or life.

Sisters in Crime Loves the Pineville, KY library!

2010-04-29T10:00:00.002-04:00

During 2010, Sisters in Crime is conducting a "We Love Libraries" lottery. U.S. libraries nominated at the SinC website become eligible to win a check for $1000. This may not mean much in large cities, but for smaller libraries it's pretty nice.

The Ohio River Valley chapter is celebrating this year, because March's winner was the Pineville-Bell County Public Library in Pineville, Kentucky! Our chapter has received the check and is making arrangements for presentation. The ceremony will probably take place in May. There's a good chance I'll be out of the state when it happens, so I hope someone takes pictures.

Advice for the Civically Handicapped

2010-04-15T17:29:00.002-04:00

Sometimes it seems like U.S. citizens either don't know or have conveniently forgotten information that is common knowledge for everyone else. Since today is Tax Day, I thought I'd bring up one that seems obvious but apparently bears repeating:

You have to file a tax return.

You may have heard somewhere or read somewhere that tax collection is voluntary, but snopes.com and the IRS disagree. That second one is especially important, because they can throw your ass in jail whether you think you're supposed to pay taxes or not.

If you're not into Snopes, try USA Today. The tenth myth they listed? That paying taxes is voluntary. It's not. 'Voluntary' refers to us citizens sending the IRS our information, rather than the government having to tot up all our transactions and making its best guess on our deductions.

Okay, now you're saying that the government has the mainstream media issuing the party line. You'll get no arguments from me about that. This doesn't mean, though, that the IRS has no power to stuff you into the can for a few years. Even Wesley Snipes had to do time, and he's a well-liked celebrity who had prominent people pleading his case, plus some proof that his financial advisers had deceived him.

The income tax was first established during the Civil War to support war costs. It was dropped in 1872, but in 1913 the 16th Amendment gave Congress the legal authority to tax income. And the government doesn't balk at exercising that authority. When even Elliot Ness couldn't get Al Capone into prison, the IRS did.

Plus, give it a moment's thought. Do you really think that there's a secret group of wealthy cognoscenti that don't pay taxes because they have this special knowledge? You heard of it, didn't you? Do you think that they hire highly skilled lawyers who can beat the IRS at its own game? No, the wealthy cognoscenti are using offshore accounts to hide assets or buying their own congressmen to put loopholes in the tax law.

So... YES, you must file a tax return. You may not need to pay anything, but you should file. Just saying.

Victory is mine!

2010-04-04T20:05:00.000-04:00

As of last night, I am the winner of the office pool. Duke beat West Virginia, and everyone in the pool has advanced as far as they could. I won the prize over much wiser heads, and I know it... heh, heh.

I was sorry, though, to hear about Da'Sean Butler being so seriously injured. I hope it is not a career-ending injury, but anything involving torn ligaments is pretty ominous. He seems like a really nice guy. I hope he graduates and finds a good career if he can't progress along his original path.

Rooting for... Duke?

2010-03-31T18:28:00.000-04:00

Sadly, UK was defeated over the weekend. Both of the teams I chose for that championship game are out of the running, so I have advanced as far as I can in bracket points.

Would you believe,though... that I am leading the ENT pool at the moment? This next weekend will probably determine who wins the bracket competition. It's between me and Dr. Jones. He's got West Virginia playing in the championship game (I had UK). This weekend, Duke plays WV. If WV wins, Dr. Jones wins. If Duke wins, I win. Guess what? I'm rooting for Duke.

I find this very ironic. One of the other doctors had a statistician do his brackets. Dr. Jones is a huge basketball fan and knows the teams really well. _I_ just like to play because it's a fun thing to do with other UK people. I mostly chose my teams based on their rankings. My Final Four were the top seeds of their regions. My brackets busted when everyone else's did. Yet, somehow, I managed to choose the right combination of lesser teams to keep me in the running.

So, I'll be waiting to see how Duke does (actually watching the game would probably jinx them). It'd be so funny to accidentally win again.

It's that time again...

2010-03-23T16:08:00.007-04:00

This is one year I'm not certain I should run this pic, despite the giggle it gives me.

I don't watch many sports that don't directly involve a relative. One exception: ice skating at the Olympics. Not just any ice skating... it has to be at the Olympics.

The other exception: March Madness. From the pic, I think you can guess my state of residence. I began doing the bracket thing to be a 'joiner' at work, but got hooked when I accidentally won because, like everyone else, I'd put UK going all the way... but unlike everyone else, I had Syracuse go with them. UK didn't go all the way, but Syracuse did. I chose Syracuse because one of my wife's bosses went there... not because I knew much about them. I won, though, and I liked that part (especially the $$$). I've had no such luck since.

After this past weekend, though, I jumped from tenth place to third in my wife's office pool. I've been trying to figure out why, since I lost Kansas and Villanova when everyone else did. Everyone kept Ohio State in like I did (I went there for 3 years, so that was a sentimental choice, not skill). So, why?

Because I kept Duke. Most of her office had Rick Pitino beating Duke with Louisville, and I didn't. Just because they're rivals doesn't mean I underestimate them. I have them going to the Final Four, too.

They just better not beat Kentucky.

Watching What Other People Eat

2010-03-12T10:22:00.000-05:00

One of the people on the Leaving 190-ville team (SparkPeople) likes the quote at the bottom of my messages: "The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat." I don't remember where I stole that from, but it's certainly true!

Once you're under 200 pounds, you start to approach the 'normal' range of weight (or, in many guys' cases, the 'fit' range). You can buy clothes in 'regular' stores. You may be able to give up the seat belt extender in airplanes. Your endurance increases. Your feet hurt less. Blood pressure drops. Diabetes becomes easier to control.

Then, you start trying to eat like 'normal' people too, and the days of salads and sugar-free tea go out the window. You're still trying to reach a lower weight, or are trying to eat a 'maintenance' diet, but everyone else is enjoying themselves!

You and your friends go out for pizza, and you know you better not have more than 2 pieces, preferably cheese or veggie. Your friends are going to eat at least half a pizza each. You have Sunday dinner with the family, and Mom brings out the bread and butter. While you indulge in one piece with a 'naughty' amount of low-fat oleo, everyone else is slathering the butter on and demolishing the loaf. When you visit IHOP, you mentally calculate how many calories you'll have in your other meals for the day before you order (suggestion: make this brunch and only have ONE other meal that day). At the tables around you, people are having all-you-can-eat pancakes, bacon, eggs, and hash browns. The kids' soccer team goes to DQ for a post-game treat. They order Blizzards while you have a vanilla cone or a small sundae.

And, of course, all of these foods are being washed down with gallons of sweet, delicious, evil pop. You're still trying to convince your liver that water isn't bad for it (at least I am).

Often, I can just look at these people's butts to remember that I am not the one eating the wrong amount of food. One time at IHOP, my spouse speculated that a man at a nearby table would be lucky to see his son reach adulthood. My skinnier co-workers may indulge in pizza or donuts occasionally, but I know what Spartan lives they normally lead. It sure doesn't feel that way when we're eating treats together, though! You feel like the odd person out, the one who can't do what normal people do.

I'm not surprised some dieters become food Nazis with their families and friends. It's got to drive them nuts, seeing everyone else having all the fun. Eating 'regular' foods with your family (or going to 'regular' restaurants) is also more challenging than having a fridge that ONLY contains skim milk, spinach, and skinless breast of chicken. It'd be so much easier if everyone else ate the same things you did.

I'm still trying to find that balance without going medieval on everyone else. Often, I just take smaller portions or cut out one of the sides. I split entrees with my wife or order the Happy Meal at McDonald's. It may appear abnormal, but, trust me, it's not.

Barriers to Exercise for the Overweight

2009-12-20T11:32:00.001-05:00

I've been having an interesting conversation on Twitter with Bill Yates, MD (@wry999). He made an excellent blog post about exercise attitudes in the overweight at:

brainposts.blogspot.com/2009/12/exercise-attitudes-in-those-overweight.html

I posted a reply complimenting him on the post. I added that most obese women will not swim, even though it is one of the safest and most effective exercises for large people, because they don't want to be seen in a swimsuit.

He replied, saying that I had a good point. Did I have any suggestions for breaking through these attitudinal barriers?

I've found that classes where all the participants are large seems to help, especially if they’re in an area with little foot traffic. Exercise videos that people can do behind closed (and locked) doors also help. Our culture's shaming of the obese is not helping the problem. We often use shame as a motivator. These people often have a motivation to exercise, but their fear of public exposure and criticism is a stronger motivation to avoid it.

I didn't realize how little I care about the opinions of others until I began interacting with other people on SparkPeople.com . I was willing to do the swimming, the public walking, the struggling with weights in front of college-aged men. I even did a few sessions of hip-hop and Zumba classes with slender young things wearing official exercise clothes (I was wearing baggy shorts and old T-shirts). Most hardbodies aren't cruel, and the young men at the YMCA even cheered when I managed to get the overhead press over my head. My flat feet and weak back stopped my progress on several occasions, but never embarrassment.

I realized, as I mentioned this, that there is another barrier to exercise for large people that was not mentioned in the study Dr. Yates reviewed: most exercise videos and classes are geared to the already fit, not the beginner and/or the obese. It takes longer to learn the moves, we don’t move as quickly due to our size, and we are slamming a lot more weight on our joints than most people. Some people drop out, discouraged, while others (like me) wind up in physical therapy (I'm a three-time 'winner' in PT). I have videos on my shelf that I tried once and put away because I knew they could injure me (including one Tai Chi video that did injure me).

I've lost about 70 pounds. Most of that was done through eating less, but it was also done through walking, public swimming, strength training at home without weight machines, and Leslie Sansone/SparkPeople videos. The shaming needs to stop, and more exercise programs need to be tailored to the special risks of the obese.

2009-12-16T16:25:00.002-05:00

I've mostly been dealing with Xmas preparations instead of writing stuff recently, but someone asked me how long I’d been writing fiction and I realized that I started shortly after reading.

I started writing when I was very young, although my first stories centered around horses (intelligent talking horses at that!). I wrote and drew the stories; an early love of mine was comic books. When I started doing comics starring humans, I began with Betty and Veronica and worked myself up to the X-men. My dream during my teenage years was to work for Marvel Comics. Instead, I got a degree in journalism.

My first forays into written print were fanfic and in conjunction with another person. My best friend from high school and I handwrote a 10,000 page saga that should have been titled, “Meet Your Favorite Prince of Amber and Boff Him”. We did another saga based on the Darkover series, but we weren’t nearly as prolific with it. Eventually I started writing on my own, and creating stories with my own characters set in my own worlds.

I started writing an occult mystery/horror novel in the early 1990s, but wasn't sure where to go after I killed off the old tycoon. I was in grad school at the time, which didn't help (although the Greek and Latin I was studying provided lots of fodder). I also met a wonderful woman who chased me until I caught her. She wrote, too, but we weren’t interested in writing when we got together.

I limited my imagination to FRP gaming for some years. Finally, with the encouragement of my wife, I ventured into short stories and got a couple published. I completed my first book (vampires!) a couple of years ago and began shopping around with agents. Didn't have much luck. I'm thinking about revising that book and attempting to sell it now, since Twilight has made the genre popular.

The book I've been working on this year is more of a suspense/thriller novel (psychologist vs. serial killer) with a dash of the supernatural. The writing has been slower than molasses and not nearly as sweet. I know the ideas are strong and the story could be a great one, but I think it hasn't gelled yet in my head.

The path from talking horse stories to serial killer novels has been a strange and twisted one, but it has been fun and it’s been my own.

Ask Nicola: give to LLF

2009-12-15T15:25:00.002-05:00

give to LLF

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The War on Christmas: Politics or Personal Problem?

2009-12-11T11:14:00.002-05:00

I’m still finding the identity of this blog. Yes, I write, and I post my writing updates here, but you guys probably don’t need to be barraged with repeated samples of literary solipsism. This is especially true because my writing life moves slowly.

Today, I’m going to write about something that cheeses me off: the so-called "War on Christmas" by liberals like me.

Just so you know: Yes, I’m a liberal. Screw that ‘progressive’ business; that’s for chicken liberals who came along after Nixon made the word a pejorative term. I’m a liberal raised by liberals. I’m also a Pagan. For the uninitiated, that means that I hold nature sacred and, in my case, worship pre-Xian gods. Xian=Christian, but is shorter to write. I use Xian because I'm lazy.

I've bitched at length about the pretend War on Christmas a few times on my Pagan blog, but I will give the Reader's Digest version of my views here:

Ask yourself: since when did acknowledging that other people have winter holidays equate attacking Christians? If one of your children claimed that you were attacking him every time you mentioned his brother, or used the phrase 'my children', you'd think he had a serious ego problem. Is this really that different?

December hosts several different holidays. Our government is supposed to respect the entire collage of faiths represented within its borders. It only has a limited number of options: it can celebrate every holiday, a costly proposition, celebrate no holidays, which means no special time off for anyone, OR it can use blanket recognitions like 'Happy Holidays'.

Merchants have the additional option of honoring specific holidays for specific faiths. Some do specifically recognize Xmas. Other merchants, however, don't want to miss out on Jewish money, Yule dollars, Kwanzaa cash, solstice spending, etc. Considering how our economy has slid into the crapper, though, many also opt for the 'Happy Holidays' banners. It's cheaper. And it's not meant as an insult.

Chill out. And Merry Christmas, if it applies to you.

Pulmonary Hypertension (PH)

2009-11-18T17:09:00.006-05:00

Today is Pulmonary Hypertension Blogging Awareness Day. Sorry if this isn't a detailed enough entry, but I thought I just had to be 'aware' this month, not blog about it.

Trust me, though, I am always aware of PH. My father has it. Not only does he have it, he has it secondary to sarcoidosis, which is a rare complication of a rare disease. I always knew he was exceptional, but he should have limited himself in this regard.

What is pulmonary hypertension? It is not the 'regular' hypertension you see in the drug commercials on TV, and it can't be measured by an arm cuff. Basically, pulmonary arterial hypertension is high blood pressure in the artery that takes the blood from your heart to your lungs... you know, where it gets the oxygen your body needs. The general cause? Narrowing/blockage of that artery or in the blood vessels of the lungs. Your body WANTS that oxygen, it NEEDS it, but the pipelines are blocked. The heart pushes harder. The blood backs up and the pressure increases. Honestly, it's easier to understand if you think of it as a plumbing problem.

Consequences? Shortness of breath and feeling faint are common symptoms. You're trying to get more oxygen into your body, but the problem is really that the blood has slowed to a trickle. Your heart may try to beat its way out of your chest or you could develop chest pain at even minor exertion. Taking oxygen helps. Dad has one of those little rolly oxygen concentrators now.

Plus, EVERYTHING tires you out. You don't have that much oxygen to work with, so your energy burns out quickly. This sucks, especially if you're impatient, a workaholic, or a general Type A person. What sucks even more? Some people with PH need medication delivered directly into their hearts. They carry a pump on their person at all times, and it has a tube that literally goes INTO your body and enters your heart! What sucks the most? Eventually, the high blood pressure will damage your heart.

Dad was diagnosed with sarcoidosis when I was 16. I'd like to say that only five years had passed since then, but you've already seen my picture. At the time, they told him that he probably had 10 years to live. He made liars of them; he's still around. In 2005, he was diagnosed with PH. The pulmonologist wasn't much help: shortness of breath? That's to be expected, considering the number of granulomas (my father calls them 'granolas') in your lungs. Come back in a year. If it's worse, we'll try prednisone again.

Bull. This wasn't the shortness of breath Dad was used to. He went to a cardiologist. The cardiologist ran various tests, and then proposed a stress test. A friend's father had died of a heart attack brought on by a stress test, so I wasn't too keen on the idea, but Dad did it. Walking? He'd done that all his life, fat or thin. Soon into the test, the cardiologist stopped him. He said he wouldn't have believed it if he hadn't seen it. My father had PH. The doc had only read about it.

Most docs don't know a lot about pulmonary arterial hypertension because it's so rare. The cardiologist didn't know much. It was a pulmonary problem, so he referred Dad back to the pulmonologist. This was the same fellow who had ignored the rapid heartbeats, the chest pain, and the drowning feeling. Dad wasn't going to go back to that 'idiot'. Since I work in CME, he thought I might be able to find better information, or at least a better pulmonologist.

My father doesn't really spend a lot of time looking up his ailments. That would involve thinking about the ailments, which causes him stress. The regular world offers us enough of that. For me, though, research eases stress, even when a quick cure isn't available. I Googled medical sites like WebMD and MayoClinic.com, and learned what I could about the subject. Eventually, I found the PH Association webpage. This is a support group primarily for PH patients and their families, but they also work with healthcare professionals to provide physician education on this rare disorder.

The site is great! It has understandable information about PH and its treatment, contact information for support groups across the country, news on PH research, and reading material you can order if you need more in-depth info (for example, for people who developed PH after taking Fen-Phen). They also had information on PH specialists, and I found one my father could see.

Since that time, which was scary as hell for everyone, my father's condition seems to have stabilized. He uses oxygen, but doesn't require a Flolan pump as of this writing. The current life expectancy for PH after diagnosis is five to fifteen years; Dad is chugging along at four. Let's hope he makes liars of the doctors again.

For more information, check out the PH Association's webpage.

Monkey Dancing at Bouchercon

2009-11-06T11:13:00.006-05:00

The first night at Bouchercon, we went to the Thursday Evening Extravaganza at Gameworks. All the games were free, plus there was music with a live D.J.

Well, I'm half Greek. You may not know this, but Greeks are compulsive dancers. Once Austin Camacho and his squeeze took the floor, I quickly followed. The evidence is below and, mercifully, quite dark. Just look for the moving stripes.

NaNoWriMo is Nearly Upon Us!

2009-10-23T19:03:00.001-04:00

(Don't know what National Novel Writing Month is? Click on the Web badge to learn more!)

Once again, I teeter on the edge of the cliff. Last year, I entered NaNo with a good story idea and a rudimentary outline (unusual as a SEG starting maneuver). I'd even 'interviewed' two different characters to take the lead role.

It sounded good in theory, but in practice, I wrote a very small amount. I didn't even break 7500 words. I haven't even doubled that in the year since. To say that I was discouraged and disappointed in myself would be an understatement.

Here I am again, though, preparing to try another Nano with this story and these characters. Yes, it's scary. What do I have this year that I didn't have last year, besides more existential angst?

(Yes, this is a rhetorical question. I figure no one else reads this blog but me, so I might as well talk to myself).

Well, at Bouchercon (pics to follow one day), I got some encouragement. I took part in Hallie Ephron's plot-writing workshop, and she said she liked my story concept. No, I am not going to reveal it here, since we have already established that I am talking to myself, and I already know what the idea is.

I've had another year to work on backstory. Unlike my vampires, who cavorted around in my head for years before I began writing about them, I entered NaNo last year with an entirely new cast and story setting. I'm still getting to know these people.

I also got some hints and advice from people at Bouchercon. Liz Zelvin helped me figure out some questions I should be asking about my character, and several of the panels addressed my story concerns. I also had a small epiphany or two, since my subconscious spent some time stewing on the subject.

These are the positives I must remind myself about as November approaches. I will need them to get past the mental blank-out I experience when I open my manuscript.

Good fortune with your writing!

My NaNoWriMo Confession

2009-10-09T15:08:00.001-04:00

My tale of woe: I use National Novel Writing Month to 'grow' whatever novel I'm already working on. The frenetic pace, the write-ins, and the 'shut off your inner critic' approach help a lot. Yes, I know that's against the rules, and I never claim 'victory' no matter how many words I've written unless I actually STARTED the book during NaNo.

The latter case only happened once, and I didn't win that year. Hell, I still haven't 'won' with it, and that's part of why I haven't posted here in a long time. I liked my first book, my friends liked it, some of my not-so-close friends liked it. I couldn't sell it to an agent, though. So, I came up with a NEW idea, new characters, new plot. I sat down during NaNo to work on it, and was totally blocked. It's not nearly as much fun as the first book was, and I use that term (fun) very loosely. This was when I identified a very important problem in my nature:

I'm lazy.

I view my time and effort as an investment. It's very, very hard for me to write fiction. It's like pulling teeth - the front ones, where all the nerves are. It seems like no matter how many shots the dentist gives you, you can always feel the pain. I have no problem stringing a couple of sentences together, but creating something out of nothing is a lot harder than typing words on a screen.

Writing and being unable to sell the product is a bad investment, in my -er- book. No matter how interesting and fun the character is to me, I just don't have that much lifetime left. It took me 3 years to complete my first book. I understand, from other authors, that about 7 books need to be published before the process really start paying for itself (unless you hit really big, natch). I must reiterate here that I AM LAZY. This means I'd really like to retire BEFORE I qualify for Medicare.

I could quit, I suppose, and stick with my day job. NOT writing, though, drives me nuts. Sometime in elementary school, I decided that I wanted to be a writer. That hasn't changed. NOT having a story in the works makes me feel useless and fills me with existential angst (Google it if you're that concerned). A palm reader once told me that I had a "finger with an agenda". Writing is that agenda.

If you have a suggestion for resolving this dilemma, go ahead and comment. Sympathy is also welcome (telling me I'm a whiner isn't going to be news). I wasn't expecting people out there to solve the problem for me, but I feel better for explaining it to you.

Write anyway. I plan to.

Greetings!

2009-10-08T11:32:00.000-04:00

I've been away, but not sitting on my hands. Well, okay, SOME of the time I was sitting on my hands.

My new novel with new characters and a new angle: can we say writer's block? I knew you could. It's easier to write a story when you already know the people well. I'm still getting to know this group.

Short stories: I will probably have something in the next anthology coming out from my chapter of Sisters in Crime, but that's a bit down the road. However, I WILL have a story in the first-ever SinC Guppies anthology! My story was chosen out of a large number of submissions, so I feel very flattered. The Gups are looking for a publisher now.

In other news: I have lost nearly 70 pounds. I'm not where I want to be yet, but it's been at least 15 years since I was this slender.

I hear your wheels screeching now. Screw what she's writing, how did she lose that much weight? I did it through a combination of old school and new tech: I ate less, exercised more, and logged it all at SparkPeople.com.

Keep NaNo Going for Next Year!

2008-11-26T12:45:00.000-05:00

Please donate to NaNoWriMo!

Even $10 can help keep National Novel Writing Month going till next year. The NaNo folks do so much more than host a web site for annual novelists; they provide NaN-based language arts curricula for young writers, even loaning out AlphaSmarts to classrooms without computers. During a time when the arts are being cut out of the schools, NNWM is helping develop new authors.

Last year, the NaNo hosts got the donations they needed and more. This year, everyone is short of money and the funds have not been forthcoming. Won't you lend a hand?

NaNoWriMo

2008-11-17T09:58:00.001-05:00

National Novel Writing Month is upon us again.

As usual, I'm using it to kick-start my writing. This year, I started my new novel, which introduces a new character, a new city, and a very different plotline from my first novel. Writing has been slow, since I am still settling into the new characters and setting, but I have worked on it steadily through the month.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2008-10-15T12:59:00.000-04:00

Create Fake Magazine Covers with your own picture at MagMyPic.com

It's nearly that time again...

2008-10-07T13:12:00.001-04:00

National Novel Writing Month is almost upon us!

I've been working on other projects (including the election) for the last couple of months, but I haven't been idle on book planning. I figure this will be a great way to kickstart my second novel!

I hope I'll see some of my writing buddies there, too (hint, hint).

Save Top Five!

2008-09-17T13:32:00.000-04:00

One of the oldest and longest-running humor sites on the Web needs your help! It need fundings to continue. I've enjoyed Top Five's lists for several years. The lists are compiled from contributions sent in from fans of the site, and proper credit is given to the snarkers. It'd be a huge loss to Internet humor for Top Five to fold.

You can click on the logo above if you'd like to buy a pixel square for $50 that will launch a popup with your chosen prose, or you can mail donations to:

TopFive
c/o Chris White
10925 Bluffside Dr., #309
Studio City, CA 91604

The Other Side of the Writer: Political Blogging

2008-09-16T09:28:00.000-04:00

One of the political blogs I post on, BlueGrassRoots, was selected to represent Kentucky at the Democratic National Convention last month. The site is sort of like DailyKos, with people posting their diaries for others to read and review. Most of the members are Kentuckians, although not all of them are.

I had the great honor of attending the Convention as one of the reporters representing the site: media pass and everything! Twenty-three years after getting my degree in journalism, I had my first press gig.

There were three of us, so we took turns for who got which night at the Pepsi Center. I covered Tuesday night and got to see all the Hillary action. I also got a pass for the final night at Invesco Field, where I got to see Obama deliver his speech from a skybox seat! It was an experience of a lifetime.

If you would like to see my political posts in general, you can check them out at:
http://www.bluegrassroots.org/userDiary.do?personId=82

Interest or Commitment?

2008-06-19T10:39:00.000-04:00

Well, it’s time for the rubber to hit the road.

I have spent the past six months querying agents, working on synopses until my eyes crossed, and pondering rewrites of my novel. So far, no nibbles from agents, but I need to get on with my writing. I didn’t go on hiatus entirely from writing; I’ve worked on some short stories and have done a good amount of political blogging. Political blogging is, of course, when you root out the fiction in other people’s words.

My blogging, in fact, is where I’ve been most successful this year. I was invited to a bloggers’ panel at the local university earlier this year, and I’m one of three bloggers from Kentucky who will be using a press credential at the Democratic National Convention in August. My first press gig comes twenty-three years after getting a degree in journalism! I guess I had to wait for the Internet to find my niche.

In terms of my next novel, though, I find myself in a quandary. After much deliberation and one very telling Tarot reading, I think I would be better off not taking one specific character into the novel format. Too many people are familiar with him and would attempt to take credit for any book I wrote, regardless of content. This leaves me with the following options:

1. I could write the follow-up story to All This and Family, Too and see if I could sell it alongside or separately from the original novel.

2. I could write a Bethany Howard novel sans woo-woo. I’m not certain I want to do this, though.

3. I could write a novel featuring Lana, my lesbian detective in Asheville.

4. I could write an entirely new novel with characters from scratch.

My wife and I do plan to write at least one novel together, but I believe that having separate projects will make us better writers.

Meanwhile, I need to make some decisions... because six months is long enough to take off from writing novels, and I have made a commitment to writing them.

NOW I get it!

2008-04-22T13:40:00.001-04:00

The Bluegrass Blogger Bash!

2008-04-08T16:42:00.000-04:00

This Friday, I am one of the invited guests at the Bluegrass Blogger Bash, which will take place in the University of Kentucky Student Center. The focus of the event is political blogging, so I was invited on the basis of my work on blogs like Bluegrass Roots and Focus on the 88th. It's not a fiction-oriented event, although there does seem to be plenty of fiction in politics. Come by, if you can!

Short Division

2008-04-07T14:07:00.000-04:00

Only one of us will be attending Saturday's Sisters in Crime meeting: Gwen. I will be staying in Lexington to attend my Legislative District meeting and help elect party officials. This is one of my duties as a new precinct chair.

I realize that one seems hardly connected to the other, but there are some strong resemblances between mysteries and politics. They both involve alliances and secret cabals, the examination of motives, and, frequently, digging up the dirt. They used to both involve murder, too, but the politicians have been cutting back on that with the development of good forensic science.

Bilocation

2008-03-27T18:10:00.000-04:00

Gwen and I have been presented with a conflicting schedule: the next meeting of our Sisters in Crime chapter, when we will finally get a critique of the story we wrote jointly, will be on April 12th. Unfortunately, the 12th is also the day for the KY Democratic Party Legislative District elections, a very important day for the party. County executive committees will be elected across the state.

It looks like Gwen and I will have to split up for the day: one will travel to Louisville to hear the critique, while the other stays in Lexington to participate in the elections. The one who stays will have to be the one running for the precinct committee this year. We haven't decided which one of us that will be yet. The position is very important, especially in our underrepresented area, but naturally we are both eager to learn what the group thinks of our story! It will be a difficult decision.