Life Imitating Art

Last summer, my wife and I moved into a manufactured housing community. That’s a trailer park with more expensive lot fees. But it has a pool, a hot tub, and a view of the water. It’s also… drum roll… a gated community with a homeowner’s association. Yes, I’m finally living in a setting with some resemblance to my first novel.

I didn’t realize how close a resemblance it would bear till we attended our first HOA meeting. In February, they'd had board elections. We got the voting info beforehand, same as everyone else. Four slots open, four candidates retired from occupations where they earned more money than I’ll ever see. We work all day and part of the night; we don’t know many people there yet, so we didn’t attend. It seemed to be a done deal.

I was wrong. The March meeting began with the usual reading of the past minutes – the ones from January, which I thought a bit odd. Next, a brief bit about last month. The treasurer gave a report on the HOA finances. Then… people began reading their resignation letters from various committees. Apparently, there was a hostile takeover at the February meeting. The mood took a definite downturn and the crowd got ugly. We left when the name-calling started.

You have not lived till you’ve heard a 70+ year old person call another 70+ year old person an asshole. You know they’re accurate, because they’ve had time to learn what a real asshole is.

For obvious reasons, I’m not going to identify the location here. But we won’t be attending any more HOA meetings for a while.

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Oh, the Places I Went...

Gwen Mayo and I at Magna cum Murder. As always, it was a blast!

It's been a loooong time since I posted here. Honestly? Between traveling every weekend and trying to get regular and special errands done during the week, it's been hard to find the time.

What are 'special' errands, you ask? The most special one dealt with my late grandmother's Toyota. The cost of repairs finally outweighed the cost of replacing it, so we replaced it. I hated giving the Corolla up - it was Granny's, after all - but it was a twenty-year-old car.

On my father's recommendation, we bought a used Scion. This vehicle resembles a small milk truck and would definitely fit into the list of ugly cars the Reverend W. Robert Merrimon drove in All This and Family,Too. It carries lots of books, though, has a working defroster for the back window, and, most importantly, has brakes.

Bess the Bookmobile.

October is best defined as Before Granny's Car Died and After Granny's Car Died.

BGCD: We spent the first weekend delivering political yard signs. The second weekend, we traveled to Louisville to join our Sisters in Crime for a Ghost Tour of Old Louisville. A lovely trip, but it was on the way home that the brake light first came on. Sunday was spent delivering more yard signs and pouring brake fluid into the car.

AGCD: We did a signing at That Book Place, located in Madison, IN, on the 15th. Marian Allen did a lovely interview with us as part of promotion. The following weekend was the Halloween Expo at National College in Lexington. We didn't attend the masquerade ball after the Expo because we ran off to hear Cris Williamson sing at Natasha's. The final weekend of the month was spent in Muncie, Indiana at Magna cum Murder. Overall, we've been giving the new vehicle a baptism by car trips.

The final event before the holidays strike -er- arrive is the Kentucky Book Fair. That'll be in Frankfort on November 12th. Please drop by and say hello!

FandomFest Weekend

In case you haven't heard of FandomFest, it's taking place in Louisville the weekend of July 22-24. It's a gathering for fandoms of all sorts - gamers, comic collectors, horror movie fans, zombie fans... everyone from John Carpenter to yours truly will be there!

Gwen Mayo and I will both be participating in FandomFest's Literary Track. My schedule is below:

Friday:
7:00 pm     Concourse: Signing
10:00 pm   Panel Room C: Reading

Saturday:
2:00 pm     Panel Room B: Mystery Writing

Sunday:
10:00 am    Panel Room B: Writing Fan Fiction
3:00 pm      Panel Room B: The Paranormal in Fiction

Gwen Mayo and I will also be running the Pill Hill Press booth in the vendors' area. Come by to get a signed copy of All This and Family, Too or Circle of Dishonor! Gwen and I will also be offering Tarot readings.

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Launch Party: TGIO

It was a dark and stormy night...

Things I appreciated from my launch party:

• The Morris Book Shop, a great independent bookstore that has all sorts of books from local authors. When I got there, the staff had set up a table with black webbing, a skull cup, a Sharpie marker, and, of course, books. It was nice to have professionals arrange the details since I'd been in Florida for the previous two weeks. Gwen's launch party was great, but we couldn't have set it up long distance.

The Morris Book Shop had to put out extra chairs.

• The assistance I got in preparing for the party, which was almost as detailed as the prep for my photo shoot. My entourage was smaller this time, but multitalented. Christy applied the makeup, but began giving me lessons on how to put it on myself. I am proud that I did not whimper this time.

What is this 'mascara' you speak of?

• Wardrobe assistance: My sister-in-law, Deanna, bought me a bat necklace and loaned me a dress that put the 'ho' in horror. It looked great, but I had to wear a push-up bra and a girdle to get the best effect. I now know why feminism was invented: the ladies of Seneca Falls wanted to breathe!

• The friend who ordered my book in advance and brought it in for my signature, already dog-eared. Very flattering.

• The stranger who showed up and was mistaken for the husband of a long-term friend. To be fair, though, it's been 15 years since I last saw the husband, whom I remember as 'the guy who wore the Spock ears and the shirt with the dragons f---ing'. He took my mistake in good humor, which is not surprising, given his blog.

• The family and friends who shared the day with me, especially the ones who drove in from Ohio, Louisville, and Eastern Kentucky. 

Time for extra chairs again.

• The post-launch party at Logan's.

• And, finally, the sense of relief and satisfaction when it was all over and I was back in my recliner, clad in shorts and a T-shirt, and playing on the computer. Long sigh.

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Book Launch is Saturday. Wrists May Not Survive Intact.

My book launch is this Saturday. I'm excited. Thrilled. Ready to cut my wrists. Planning to wear a dress that puts the 'ho' in horror. I did a guest blog at Working Stiffs on the two-author household. Excited. Thrilled. Ready to cut my wrists. Got featured in The Vampire Review. Excited. Thrilled. Ready to cut my wrists.

You've probably clued into the pattern here. Since my book hit the press, I've been running around in circles and squawking, mostly to my wife. I can't think, I can't concentrate, and even the simplest things make me want to sit down and cry. I know Gwen has to forgive me, because she did the same things last year when Circle of Dishonor came out. I didn't strangle her, so she's obligated not to strangle me (right?).

Anyway: The launch party for All This and Family, Too is at The Morris Book Shop this Saturday, June 18th, at 2 PM. The Morris Book Shop is located at 408 Southland Drive in Lexington, Kentucky. There will be light refreshments, wine, and some soft drinks.

Please come to my book launch so I can feel loved. And maybe not cut my wrists, although it would get me on the 6 o'clock news. They say that all press is good press...

Addendum: Since my last post here, a shamefully long time ago, I was also featured on Savvy Authors. My post, 'Pitching Woo-Woo', offers advice to writers on incorporating paranormal elements in their stories. I have two other guest posts coming up in the next couple of weeks. My frazzled brain may be forgetting something, though. Check my publicist's page: she is better at keeping track of me than I am. Yes, I have a vampire publicist. Her rates are very reasonable, as long as my blood holds out.

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All This and Family, Too - NOW AVAILABLE!

NOW AVAILABLE!

The waiting is over! It's a good thing, too: patience isn't my strong suit. I thought I would explode...

All This and Family, Too is now available from Amazon and Pill Hill Press.

I even have my first review. Drop in on Amazon and read it!

Update: It's also available on Kindle and Nook!

Print version from Barnes & Noble is here.

What's a Girl to Do?

I've been wondering what to post on here. I've heard that 'normal people' don't follow blogs that only offer updates about the author, but my non-me writing efforts are currently being directed towards the guest blogs that will start coming out with the release of my book (yay!). You can find some of my blog tour dates here. I expect to be updating this page with more locations soon.

At least it doesn't affect my ability to do book reviews. I wanted to become an author because I love reading. Who wouldn't want to produce something so wonderful on their own? Even now, I manage to squeeze a little reading in.

So, let me tell you what is going on with All This and Family, Too. I've returned the final proof of the book to Pill Hill Press, and it's set for publication on May 1st. Think I'm wired for sound yet?



Let's just say that my co-workers think I'm drinking too much caffeine.

As the countdown to my book's release proceeds, the countdown to the Goodreads Drawing for a free advance copy of my book also proceeds. It ends this coming week, so enter before it's too late!

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Goodreads Book Giveaway

All This and Family, Too

by Sarah E. Glenn

Giveaway ends April 30, 2011.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter to win

Sorta-Kinda Convention Schedule

Yes, it's been a while since I posted. I've thought about posting, but my little gray cells have been busy elsewhere, mostly working with my wife to determine our schedule for the rest of the year. I'm sending out ARCs, and have received the final-final copy from Pill Hill of my novel, All This and Family, Too. I have a couple of short stories I should be hearing about, now that their submission deadlines have passed.

So... the schedule so far:

April:
Gwen is presenting at Authorfest in Schaumburg, IL next Saturday. I'll be tagging along, but not speaking. If you like historical fiction, you'll like her presentation AND her writing.

June:
Gwen and I will be attending the Golden Crown Literary Society conference in Orlando, FL. We're con "Virgins", so I'm expecting to be sacrificed.

July:
We'll be at FandomFest in Louisville, KY. Come on down to see the zombies!

September:
15 - 18: Bouchercon in St Louis, MO. Gwen and I both hope to be on panels, but there's a lot of competition. We're already scoping barbecue places.
23 - 25: Scarefest in Lexington, KY. Not sure who the headliner will be, but it was George Romero last year!

October:
22: A Day of Mystic Blood Lust in Lexington, KY. See the trailer below for more info:



We really wish we could afford to go to Magna cum Murder this year (28-30), but we just don't have the money. I'm especially sorry since Parnell Hall is the featured guest.

November:
12th: I hope to have a berth at the Kentucky Book Fair in Frankfort.

We hope to see you at one or more of these gatherings!
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The Goodreads ARC Giveaway!

Good news! I have a box of advanced reading copies of All This and Family, Too. Most of them are slated for specific reviewers, but TWO are being given away on Goodreads. When, you ask? Now.

You - yes, you - could win a free copy of my book for Beltane. Details are below:

Goodreads Book Giveaway

All This and Family, Too

by Sarah E. Glenn

Giveaway ends April 30, 2011.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter to win

Naturally, I would appreciate it if the winners would be kind enough to review the book, or at least assign it a few stars on Goodreads after they read the story. It's not required, though.

Come on and enter!

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Author Pics, or Straight Eye for the Queer Gal

All photos by Christy Mayo McMillen

The time has come for the all-important author portrait. You know, the one that goes in the back of the book with the author's bio. I wrote the bio, but I called in professionals for the photo.

Straight women.

First was Nancy, my hairdresser. I scheduled my haircut on the same day as the photo shoot, which was by accident - but a fortunate one. Nancy did her usual great job, but suspected that her good intentions might go awry before that evening. My hair isn't known for its good behavior. She made me cover my eyes and hold my breath while she sprayed the hell out of it. It worked; the 'do set up and stayed put, even through the clothing changes.

That evening, the tag team arrived. One was Gwen's daughter, a fantastic photographer with a huge honking camera that she normally reserves for the grandsons' sports events. She took Gwen's author photos and graciously agreed to take mine. On Saturday, she came to Lexington with her friend, a former Miss West Virginia. High-powered help, indeed!

I showed them the wardrobe and jewelry options. Once they'd decided how to dress me, they draped a towel around my neck and began their work.

Strange substances, some very expensive, were sponged and brushed over every square inch of my face. The smell of cosmetics, a scent I am normally unfamiliar with, filled the air. I sat there clutching my seat, trying not to act nervous. When they reached the eyes, though, I let out a high-pitched whine and they got tickled. Gwen's mother said I sounded like a puppy whimpering.

Naturally, I was not allowed to wear my glasses until after I was through having pictures taken. Gwen sat in the front of her daughter's car to give directions. First stop: the cemetery. No, I am not kidding. My novel has vampires, doesn't it?

The vampire novelist requires night photography.

Christy had great fun telling me to turn this way and that. It was like being a model, but dressed much more sensibly. We moved to indoor locations when we got cold. The shot at the top of this post was taken in front of a fountain at Lexington Green. I was much happier there because we visited Joseph-Beth's. Lack of glasses didn't stop me from peering at books! They had to tell me to move along, we weren't there to shop.

Christy knew which book I should hold.

The only confusion came when she asked me to do the 'cheerleader' pose. I'm afraid I had no notion of what that was. They had to move me into the proper position, which is a bit like an iliotibial band stretch without the pain. I am not posting a pic here because I have suboptimal talents in the cheerleader department. I should have paid more attention at those football games when I was in band.

Once the ladies were tired of posing me, we went home. I was happy to get my glasses back and, with the magic of cold cream, return to my secret identity as a woman in comfortable shoes! If the book sells well, though, I may have to become more familiar with feminine skills.

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My Novel Has a Cover!

Every day, my dream is becoming more and more solid. Soon, it will be a reality I can hold in my hands.

The Bio. NOW what do I say?

Everyone who read last week's post will be glad to learn that I finished the edits in good time. Once I got into them, I remembered how much I liked the characters and it really wasn't that scary.

I'm almost ready to ship the edits back to Pill Hill Press, but I'm lacking something important: an author bio. I'm at a loss for words.

Now, let me make it clear that I've done bios for short stories. They're brief and often have pop culture references. I'd like to stick with brief, but I don't think I should make my usual confession that I wanted to grow up to be Kolchak, except smarter (the idiot hunted vampires alone at night). Wouldn't the Kolchak people try to sue me for that?

My bios are usually tailored to fit the story. For example, in my bio for Fish Tales, the SinC Guppies' first anthology, I mentioned that I had been born in Asheville, NC and had deep family roots there because my story was set in Asheville. I worked an NCIC terminal at my local police department for seven years, so I mention that in stories with central characters that work for the police.

My novel is about a lesbian vampire that moves into a gated community. What the hell do I do with that? I'm a lesbian who played Vampire: the Masquerade about ten years ago. Not quite the same thing. If I'd planned ahead for my writing career, I would have been born about ten years later with a higher metabolism. Then, I would have been young and thin enough to join one of the vampire cults. Instead, I was an old, boring nerd when that became the rage.

Sadly, I am more qualified to write about the New Ager the vampire dates for a while. I know quite a bit about astrology, crystals, and Tarot. When you meet my vampire, Cynthia, you will know why this is not a compliment. I am more qualified to write the science geeks she interacts with, after living in the engineering dorm at OSU and dating the people I gamed with. I'm also better equipped to write about the pettiness of bureaucrats, after years of working for the city, the University, and volunteering for my political party.

None of this boils down to the thumbnail sketch I'm hoping to create. I probably should mention the degree in journalism. It makes me sound like I've been trained in writing, at least. The rest is going to require more thought.

Any suggestions for useful things to include in a bio for someone who's written a vampire novel? And please, no 'blood bank employee' suggestions. I've studied dead languages... does that count?

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The Thrill of Victory... The Agony of Delete

A short time ago, I discovered that I could look up the stats for this blog. Among the information listed, I discovered that someone found my site by asking, "Is Pill Hill Press a vanity press?" I can attest that, having recently received their edits for my novel, that they are nothing of the sort. What little vanity I have took a serious blow.

Comments in red, blue, and purple ink fill the margins throughout the book. I overuse certain words, and they're longer than four letters. Entire paragraphs have been flagged as 'wordy' or 'unclear', so it's probably time to STFU about James Joyce. I've also been asked to delete a few blocks of writing as unnecessary to the story. Ouch!

These are common errors, though. Em dashes and new word choices just need to be 'fixed'. It gets worse. My editor found contradictions of logic and inconsistencies in my vampire physics. I've had a couple of real "Oh, s--t!" moments. This stuff will require serious thought and rewriting.

I feel like an utter idiot. How could I have managed to leave so much stuff screwed up after four drafts? I have to remind myself that my editor, who is also my publisher, saw these same pages, errors included, when she decided to offer me a contract. Despite the amount of ink decorating the margins, she must have thought that these problems were surmountable.

I must also remind myself that I can get my characters and plot to do the things needed because, in the words of Donald Maass, they are "a work of fiction". This is made up stuff, and I am a writer. I can do this.

So, I picked up my yelping, whimpering manuscript, and began revisions. I'm proceeding one step at a time, untangling its words, making it stand up straight, and putting its shoes on the correct feet. Solutions have already begun coming to me. I will get this done... and the book will be better for it.

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Guest Post on Austin Camacho's Blog Today!

Austin Camacho is the author of the Hannibal Jones series. If you haven't had the pleasure of meeting him at Bouchercon or Magna cum Murder, he is a great person. I'm the featured guest today at Another Writer's Life, his blog.

http://ascamacho.blogspot.com/2011_01_01_archive.html#6259530527804702729

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Planning the New Year

“Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans”

- John Lennon

Some people make resolutions for the New Year: I make lists. Each January, I used to make long lists of what I wanted to accomplish that year. I set up goals for my health (read for this: lose weight), finances, employment, spirituality, and, of course, for my writing. When I married, I expanded the chart of goals to include my wife's goals as well (not sure how she felt about that, but I'm a little OCD). We bought a house, so I added a new category for work around the house (painting, fixing stuff, etc.).

Every December, I reviewed the list to see how I'd done. Gentle Reader, I'm sure you're intelligent enough to guess that I was lucky to get half of my goals anywhere near accomplishment in twelve months. My goals were set up for blue skies, not the changeable climate of real life. Why not aim for the best?

Oh, well.

A couple of years ago, I decided to do something simpler: a short list of things I thought were really important. Since then, December hasn't been nearly as brutal.

My goals for 2010:
Lose weight. Finish rewrite. Get an agent. Please note that I dropped 'Get out of debt' from the list after taking out a loan to replace our central air. A house is a money pit. We're just lucky we don't have children to raise.

Goals accomplished? Well, I didn't lose weight, but I maintained the weight I've lost (although the jury is still out until after I escape my mother's clutches). I did finish the rewrite. I didn't get that agent, but I got a publisher, which was better!

Goals for 2011... Hrm. Lose weight (perennial goal). Promote book. I was working on a separate book with a new character when I got the good news. Do I try to finish it, or restart work on the sequel for All This and Family, Too?

Lots to plan for... I may only accomplish the first two goals. Or... maybe only the second goal. I'll be satisfied if it comes off well.

I hope everyone has a great New Year. Try not to get too hung up on resolutions or lists.
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MY BOOK HAS A PUBLISHER!

I received the good news last night. Pill Hill Press has accepted my first (completed) novel and will publish it in 2011. I am dancing on air! Okay, would you believe the carpet?

Gwen, Karen, and I toasted the good news last night with Code Red Mountain Dew. Hey, it's blood-colored... if you're the Kool-Aid Man.

The title is All This and Family, Too. Lesbian vampire moves her family into a gated community in Southern California. There, she learns the meaning of true horror.

Any suggestions for 2011 conventions and potential reviewers would be appreciated. I need to plan ahead.

Huzzah!