Reunion Ruminations

This weekend, I will be attending my 30th high school reunion. I missed the 25th (not an accident), but a number of my old classmates discovered me on Facebook and it looks like I will have people to talk to. I find this very odd, since I barely remember some of them, but they seem to remember me.

Honestly, I'd hoped to have more trappings of success by this time. Oh, not a Lexus or a $500 outfit, but results of lifetime endeavors. A Master's, perhaps, or a Ph.D. The subject matter would be less important than the magical acronyms.

You see, I was one of those children cursed with being 'smart'. Usually, being smart makes my life easier. Most of my remarkably stupid decisions have been made based on emotions, not ignorance or an inability to draw conclusions. Most remarkably stupid decisions are made based on emotions, but I've saved myself from investing in silver or mixing Clorox and ammonia. Doing my day job is easier because I love information and learn new things quickly.

It's the expectations of being 'smart' that I must live down. When I graduated from high school, I visualized myself getting a degree in engineering and doing something cool like designing space shuttles. I would get a good-paying job and acquire the respect of my peers. Most importantly, I would write books. Lots of them. Probably science fiction, since that's where my experience would lie.

It didn't pan out that way. I realized, within a short time, that hard science drove me nuts. Not only was it hair-pulling difficult (even for someone who got a 33 in science on the ACT), I didn't find it especially interesting. I tried genetics for a while (thank you, X-Men), but came to the conclusion that I enjoyed reading science fiction more than doing actual science. Instead, I got a degree in journalism with a minor in psychology, since that was the subject I took more consistently than any other.

So... I just wrote lots of books then, correct? No. Despite the pressure from my internal sense of 'destiny', I avoided it like the plague. Writing is so important to my self-definition that I didn't seriously try fiction until I was nearly thirty. Writing fiction makes me want to Run Screaming Into the Night (tm). I edited two Pagan newsletters and was a credentialed blogger for the 2008 Democratic National Convention, so it's not expository writing that gives me trouble. It's fiction, my putative raison d'etre.

At least I have a manuscript now. I haven't sold it yet, but actually writing a book is a major victory in my... er, book. I have a few short story credits to my name.

I know I did better than some of my fellow grads. I'm employed, I have a house, and I've stayed out of prison. Right now, though, I feel like my biggest success was marrying well.

Is it time?

After putting it off for the first seven months of the year, I finally finished revising my novel. Now, to send it out. Again.

Oh, boy.

Time to face rejection again, or at least its possibility. I know I write decently, but it's not a book of great moment or even a charming cozy. It's a silly vampire story I started before the market began drowning in vampire stories. It's not a mystery or a paranormal romance. No sparkling, brooding hunks, no sophisticated femme fatales.

How can I possibly sell this?

I've wanted to be an author since at least fifth grade. Before then, even, but that was when I was first asked in class and the words came to my lips. To give myself credit, I said 'science fiction writer', not 'the next Faulkner' (yecch). Vampire astronomer probably isn't that far off the mark.

The anxiety is horrible to endure, though, as is the pain of rejection. I shouldn't be surprised at how long it took me to revise, considering what I have to face. My baby is funny-looking and has fangs. Maybe only a mother can love it.

But, like a parent, I must send it into the world. This is the proper endpoint of parenthood.

Lessons I learned from Gwen's launch party

Gwen and I at the book launch!

Monday night, Gwen and I threw the launch party for Circle of Dishonor. It was wildly successful, especially in comparison to Parnell Hall's lament (detailed in an earlier post). We had well over fifty people drop by the ultra-hip bistro Natasha's to celebrate with us and, in most cases, purchase a copy of the book.

We made back the money we invested in the first shipment of books, which will of course go immediately towards purchasing another shipment for Gwen's next signing. I also learned some important things to pass along to folks who haven't had the pleasure of launching a novel yet:

• Bring plenty of pens. The author needs at least two good pens, and the person writing the receipts needs one, too (you will be writing receipts to show when you get audited, right?). You will also need spares to set out for check writers who have nothing to write with. None of our pens walked away, but it's best to be prepared.

• Bring change, and lots of it. Unless your book is really expensive or a hardback, people will give you a Yuppie Food Stamp (aka a $20 bill) and you will need to make change... again and again.

• Try to avoid the night before school starts. Some of your customers will need to attend parent meetings instead of your event. No, my parents never did this either, but things have changed.

• The unexpected is not always a bad thing. Natasha's had scheduled a pianist for the same time slot as our book launch. I was worried that this meant no one would be able to hear Gwen or each other, but the music proved a pleasant background for our munching and socializing guests. Gwen spoke to the pianist before things got rolling and he 'took five' while she greeted everyone and read an excerpt from the book. Later, our gathering was referred to as 'classy' by one guest.

• You will be mistaken for staff. You're sitting at a table in a central area, you have inventory, and a cash box. Of course you work there. Be nice to these people; they don't know you're a soon-to-be-famous author. Plus, the site host doesn't want you wrecking their usual business. Just fetch the waitress.

• You will need to go out for food or have something to warm up at home, because you will be too busy to eat any of the spread you've set out for your guests. Gwen got two cubes of cheese, I got a sprig of grapes. That was it.

• The caterer will add a gratuity charge to his/her quoted price. This is for the aggravation value of pouring drinks, refilling the platters, etc.

• The key to the lockbox will drop to the most inaccessible spot in your purse or pocket, just when you need it. Tiny, isn't it?

And, finally...

• Your bank is more alert than you think. The day after the party, Gwen got a call from her bank requesting that she verify a large charge to Natasha's made on Monday night. Yes, she owned up to it.

We had a great time; I hope you do, too.

Acting on the Intent to Sell

Jeffrey Marks and Carolyn Melvin

Gwen Mayo and I drove up to Columbus this past weekend to see Jeffrey Marks' presentation based on his third edition of Intent to Sell. The presentation and subsequent book signing were hosted by the Columbus chapter of Sisters in Crime.

Many authors dream of the day when a publisher will accept their novel for publication. Once that Big Day comes, though, their work is not over. Instead, they find themselves taking on a new job: promoter. J.B. Fletcher may have had publicists and handlers, but in the real world authors are their own first advocates.

Jeff touched on several aspects of promotion, including the necessity for the author to have a web site, and began enumerating its contents. Naturally, I thought of the site I've been working on for Gwen.

• Good photo on the site? Check.

• Pic of book cover? Check.

• Three versions of what the book is about? Er... three? Where do I fit them?

• Two versions of the bio, one short, one long. What about one that's in between? Hmm. I might have to get back to him on that.

Obviously, Gwen and I still have some work to do.

As one of our exercises, Jeff asked us to sit down and write a bio for ourselves, choosing which length we wanted to try. I have a few short snappy ones, so I decided to try for a longer one for myself. It certainly wasn't as impressive as Marks': books published, awards awarded, etc. Humble as it is, however, I present it here:

Sarah E. Glenn wanted to grow up to be Kolchak. As an adult, she got a B.S. in Journalism, which is redundant if you think about it. She specializes in weird stories of all sorts. They’ve appeared in G.W. Thomas’ Ghostbreakers series, Mystery in Mind, an anthology from the Rhine Institute, and two will soon appear in Daily Flash 2011, a flash fiction anthology from Pill Hill Press.

Sarah is also a member of Sisters in Crime and belongs to the Ohio River Valley chapter. Her story “Party to a Fall” appears in the chapter’s Low Down and Derby anthology, and she’s also had stories published in Futures Mysterious Anthology Magazine. "Patch Test", a medical mystery, was a finalist in Crossed Genres' 2010 "Science in my Fiction" competition.

Sarah E. Glenn’s novel, All This and Family, Too, has very little to do with the above except for Kolchak, because it has vampires in it. Please don’t cringe.

If only I had the book contract to go with the bio... At least I'm getting a head start on the publicity.

There's rejection, and then there's Rejection!

I am happy to report that I've never gotten as harsh a rejection letter as the ones in this book. The young woman featured early in the video doesn't understand that rejections to writers are best done via letter, because slush pile readers get stalked sometimes (check out pages 2 and 3 of this article). Let's be honest, some writers are whack jobs. More of us would be if it weren't for the invention of psychotropic medications.

My wife specializes in receiving 'nice' rejection letters - you know, the ones that tell you what a wonderful writer you are, but your story doesn't fit for whatever reason. She didn't know whether to be flattered or frustrated as hell. Fortunately, she recently received the most important acceptance of all and her first novel is on sale.

When I get rejected, I get form letters. When I don't get form letters from an editor, it's because they take issue with something in my story. Yes, I know that I should take these to heart and correct my mistakes. I do correct those mistakes, but there isn't enough Lexapro in the world to salve the pain of a writer who takes rejection to heart. No wonder writers are famous for drinking.

Have you ever gotten an exceptionally vile rejection letter?

Writer's Version of Don't Ask-Don't Tell, Part II

I got real comments from my last blog on this subject, which went to my head. Actual readers! I had a suggestion from my spouse shortly thereafter, and I overheard another frequently asked question today, while she was discussing her new book. They've been burning a hole in my writing pocket since:

• Why don't you write about (subject that has nothing to do with your projects)? You'd be really good at it. (I could do a horror story about dry socket, too, but I have no inclination to do that, either.)

• Why don't you do ___ with your character? (This generates one of two responses: a) because that's idiotic, or b) great idea, but now I can't do it because you'd demand to 'split the profits'. Ain't happening.)

• You based this character on me, didn't you? (Trust me, if I did, you wouldn't have to ask. I've written roman à clef before. I give 'tells'. Like a character who thinks everything is about her.)

• You based this character on (other friend or relative), didn't you? (See above. However, if it makes you happy to think I've zinged Uncle Fred, go ahead.)

• Why do you bother writing? You're never going to make any money at it. (Neither does watching TV, drinking, or smoking. In other words, f--k off.) 

•  Haven't you finished that book yet? (DAMN YOU TO HELL!)

Another question I get a lot: What is your book about? I've decided that although this got annoying after the third person asked, it gives me the chance to practice my 'pitch'.

Perhaps I should talk about annoying questions writers get from other writers next. Unfortunately, I'm probably the asker.

Another question that came up in the comments from the first article: You're a writer? Where have you been published? Naturally, not all writers are published authors. This doesn't mean they're not writers, it just means they don't have published works yet.

I don't have a snappy answer for this one. Do you know why? Because I rarely told people outside the writing community of my ambitions until I was published. I received too many negative comments about wanting to be a writer while I was growing up. As an adult, I didn't spring that little secret on non-writers without something to show for it. By the time I 'came out' as an author at work, I'd edited two Pagan newsletters, received some local recognition as a political blogger, and had several published stories.

I salute the unpublished writers who are willing to 'go public' and deal with this last question. You're braver than I am. Might I suggest that you simply tell them that you're still revising your novel?

I Write Like WHO?

UPDATE: The analysis results
give you a come-on for a vanity publisher. The analysis itself is pretty fun, though!

I write like
Chuck Palahniuk

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

To quote Jon Stewart: "I s--t you not."

I've never even seen the movie Fight Club, much less read anything of Palahniuk's. One of the people at Coding Robots described the analysis process as follows: "It's the statistics of words, sentences, etc."


My stories include lesbian vampires, hospice workers doubling as occult detectives, and malicious misuse of nanotechology. None of them are peppered with S & M or people beating each other up for fun. Most of the time, in fact, my main characters would be leading quiet, productive lives (or unlives) if people would just stop messing with them.


I asked Coding Robots if Palahniuk used a lot of sarcasm.  The response: "If only iwl could detect sarcasm :) ".

Addendum: I Write Like has added several new authors to their repertoire in the last few days. I still write like Chuck Palahniuk.

The Writer's Version of Don't Ask-Don't Tell

Click to see full-sized cartoon at Inkygirl's site!
Used with permission from Debbie Ridpath Ohi at Inkygirl.com.

Inkygirl has put her pencil nib on a few of the annoying things writers (especially non-famous ones) deal with when their non-writing friends learn that they are writers.

Here are ones I've heard, with less-than-polite truthful answers:

• I have this great idea for a book. (Unless you are another writer, 99% chance it's not. If you are a writer, 85% chance it's not. Please limit your pitch to query-letter length.)
• Why don't you make my great idea into a book, and we can split the profits? (Why don't YOU write it, since it's your story? If you expect ME to write it, that split will be 1% to you for inspiration and 99% to me for perspiration, as per Thomas Edison.)
• I had this dream last night. I'm sure it would make a great book. (Gaaahhh! Please, please don't tell it to me!)
• Let me tell you about it in great detail. (Nooooo! Please stop! Why didn't I schedule that root canal for today? I'm sure there's a dentist somewhere that works on Saturday.)
• Where do you get your ideas? (Good ideas come from the Muses. Not sure where the f--- mine come from, but people aren't buying them. Oh, wait, I have these dreams... let me tell YOU about my latest one in great detail.)
• Writing is easy. You just get an idea and write it down. (Yeah, which is why it took three years to write my first novel and why my psychiatrist is trying 60mg of Lexapro on me for my 'existential angst').
• I'd like to write a novel. If only I had the time like you do. (Based on your blow-by-blow description of "Jersey Couture", I'd say that you DO have the time. There are authors who've finished books while working two jobs, raising children, etc. It's not time, it's the trouble that stops you. Come to think of it, that's why it took me three years to write my first novel.)
• Once you sell that novel, you'll be able to sit back and let the royalties roll in. (You really don't know anything about the publishing industry or the current book market, do you? Thanks for your confidence, though.)

If any writers out there are reading this post (is that crickets I hear?), please add the questions and comments YOU'D rather not hear again. I need to be prepared.

Old Spice

Recently, The Poison Review (an excellent resource site) reported: "Fox News discovers nutmeg abuse".
Teenagers have figured out that large amounts of nutmeg can make you high. This is not a new discovery; the knowledge has been around for a while. Something that the TV spot didn't mention is the indigestion that goes along with consuming substantial amounts of caustic spices.
Back in a previous model of yours truly, around Sarah 3.0 (I'm on at least 6.0 now), I worked at the reports desk of my local police department. We processed mostly crime reports, but every once in a while we would get a report on someone who had harmed themselves in a weird way. Nutmeg featured prominently in one of them.

Circa 1990, two young men decided to reach a legal high via eggnog decoration. They visited their pusher of choice, the local Kroger's, where they purchased one box of nutmeg and two half-gallons of milk. These fellows tried, tried to plan ahead - honest! When they got back to their place in UK's student ghetto, they divided the Banda Island gold between the two containers of milk. They covered and shook the contents vigorously, then chugged them down.

The report didn't specify whether they got high or not. It did specify, however, that they began puking uncontrollably. This was waaaayy past too much baklava. The two guys visited the local ER, where the staff immediately became suspicious. They'd begun throwing up only two hours ago...? They didn't know why they were sick, but they thought they needed medical help...? That set the BS alarms off, and the staff wormed the story out of the young men.

A report was filed with the police, but, really, these young men had broken no laws outside of digestive ones. They had already been punished, though, for their culinary creativity.

Signing in the Waldenbooks by Parnell Hall

I got clued into this video by John Clawitter's blog on 1st Turning Point. Parnell Hall is best known for his Puzzle Lady mysteries, but I'm fonder of Stanley Hastings. There's a lot of Parnell's own personality (and background) in Stanley, especially in the book Juror (click here for a sample read).

Part of why I'm thinking about Parnell's song is because my wife's book, Circle of Dishonor, is about to come out in print. She's setting up launch parties, and I'm working on her web site (please note there's no link for this yet). We're also hoping to line up some signing gigs... but I hope we have better luck than Parnell.

I sure hope Gwen is too busy to see this, come to think of it.

Good news! My short story, "Co-Pay", will be appearing in Daily Flash 2011, an upcoming anthology from Pill Hill Press. Gwen Mayo also has a story appearing in the collection.

I hope you will all take a look, because they will be publishing Gwen's first novel later this summer!

The anthology is still open for submissions, so why don't you join us?

It's not the same on paper

The Last Psychiatrist graced us with The Copenhagen Interpretation of Lost recently. If you don't know who TLP is, he/she is a blogger who psychoanalyzes popular culture and, occasionally, the people who make the news.

If, like me, you didn't know what the Copenhagen interpretation was, I will greatly oversimplify it for you: every item out there has a set number of places it could be right now. If you actually measure the item, the possibilities of its location are immediately shrunk by the act of measuring.

Um... okay. So perception creates reality?

The Last Psychiatrist applies this notion to Lost, which has parallel universes. Confession: I've never seen Lost, but my previous experience with the Chronicles of Amber has made me familiar with parallel universes.

In this case, all possibilities exist before you (to varying probabilities), but once a selection has been made, all other choices are obliterated. Reality becomes a series of successive obliterations of potential realities. Just like middle age!
...
The point, for Lost, is that by having Desmond, Charlie, Jack, et al become aware of this other universe (e.g. Desmond's flash of Charlie drowning in the car) they are not jumping to the other universe, but in fact obliterating the one they are in, in favor of the other (Copenhagen interpretation.) This makes Locke/Smoke Monster's desire to leave the island, and the feared consequences ("everything will cease to be") more accurate. Locke isn't just changing universes, he is causing that one to obliterate.

Comparing it to middle age was very cold, but also very accurate. The older you get, the more choices you make. The more choices you make, the narrower your options are in the future. That's not entirely bad, by the way. You can cut down on a lot of bad outcomes through good planning and self-care.

Middle age, though, really seems to be when people start noticing the limitations on their future. Turning thirty is all about taking that 'last chance' with your youthful dreams. Turning fifty is more like getting a Triptik from AAA (showing my age with that reference, too!) showing where your future trouble spots are on the Highway of Life: You're really fat and have been for a while. Better watch that blood sugar... Your parents had cataracts. Squinting a lot lately? Your work history is clerical, and your degree is in journalism. You're probably not going to get a job in top administration anywhere, ever, especially since ageism is rampant and you're part of the wrong profile.

Oh, and you will die. You're just trying to control when, how, and what your circumstances will be.

I find the notion interesting, though, and think that writing fiction is an equally good example of the Copenhagen interpretation. When the story is still in your head, it is lovely and numinous - or evil and dastardly, for horror and mystery writers. Once you begin writing things down, though, concretizing those details necessary to creating a story, it comes thudding to earth. You have to name characters. You have to figure out how someone could introduce poison into a hormone patch. If you set the story in a fake town, you have to make up realistic-sounding details. If you set your story in a real town, you have to look up details. And, of course, all this is mere backdrop for the most important question of all: would Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine pay me to publish this?

One point in the writer's favor: Life always ends with death, but acceptance at AHMM still falls in the realm of possibility, no matter how remote that possibility is for some people (I won't name names). Maybe that's why I began seriously writing during the middle of a severe depression. If I felt like dying, what harm could a mere rejection slip inflict? (FYI, I now know the answer to this question.)

Another advantage: unlike life, 'past events' are malleable in a story... until it is published. You can change things around till you 'win'! Once it's in print, of course, it's set. If it's a standalone, no problem. Series character? The facts of the current story will limit certain things for future stories, but hey - it's still published. You're loved, and you win!

The drawback? It's going to be flawed. You brought it to earth, and now it's mortal. Every time you create or recreate the backstory, it limits what is feasible for the characters accordingly. The story will never be as lovely as it felt in your head, because defining it is the sun that burns off the morning mist. And people wonder why writers kill themselves...

We begin our own existence with numinous pictures of what our life will be like. In childhood, all things are possible, even becoming a superhero or a robot. This becomes tempered by the time we reach adolescence. Becoming a rock star or a model is possible, but we have some notion of what's 'unrealistic'. Many years later, we remember these younger times fondly - not necessarily because we had a good childhood or an enjoyable adolescence, but because we remember how wide open to greatness we felt.

Can we recapture that optimism somehow? Or does it only exist in ignorance and inaction? Because those are the only ways to 'beat' the Copenhagen Interpretation, whether in writing or life.

Sisters in Crime Loves the Pineville, KY library!

During 2010, Sisters in Crime is conducting a "We Love Libraries" lottery. U.S. libraries nominated at the SinC website become eligible to win a check for $1000. This may not mean much in large cities, but for smaller libraries it's pretty nice.

The Ohio River Valley chapter is celebrating this year, because March's winner was the Pineville-Bell County Public Library in Pineville, Kentucky! Our chapter has received the check and is making arrangements for presentation. The ceremony will probably take place in May. There's a good chance I'll be out of the state when it happens, so I hope someone takes pictures.

Advice for the Civically Handicapped

Sometimes it seems like U.S. citizens either don't know or have conveniently forgotten information that is common knowledge for everyone else. Since today is Tax Day, I thought I'd bring up one that seems obvious but apparently bears repeating:

You have to file a tax return.

You may have heard somewhere or read somewhere that tax collection is voluntary, but snopes.com and the IRS disagree. That second one is especially important, because they can throw your ass in jail whether you think you're supposed to pay taxes or not.

If you're not into Snopes, try USA Today. The tenth myth they listed? That paying taxes is voluntary. It's not. 'Voluntary' refers to us citizens sending the IRS our information, rather than the government having to tot up all our transactions and making its best guess on our deductions.

Okay, now you're saying that the government has the mainstream media issuing the party line. You'll get no arguments from me about that. This doesn't mean, though, that the IRS has no power to stuff you into the can for a few years. Even Wesley Snipes had to do time, and he's a well-liked celebrity who had prominent people pleading his case, plus some proof that his financial advisers had deceived him.

The income tax was first established during the Civil War to support war costs. It was dropped in 1872, but in 1913 the 16th Amendment gave Congress the legal authority to tax income. And the government doesn't balk at exercising that authority. When even Elliot Ness couldn't get Al Capone into prison, the IRS did.

Plus, give it a moment's thought. Do you really think that there's a secret group of wealthy cognoscenti that don't pay taxes because they have this special knowledge? You heard of it, didn't you? Do you think that they hire highly skilled lawyers who can beat the IRS at its own game? No, the wealthy cognoscenti are using offshore accounts to hide assets or buying their own congressmen to put loopholes in the tax law.

So... YES, you must file a tax return. You may not need to pay anything, but you should file. Just saying.

Victory is mine!

As of last night, I am the winner of the office pool. Duke beat West Virginia, and everyone in the pool has advanced as far as they could. I won the prize over much wiser heads, and I know it... heh, heh.

I was sorry, though, to hear about Da'Sean Butler being so seriously injured. I hope it is not a career-ending injury, but anything involving torn ligaments is pretty ominous. He seems like a really nice guy. I hope he graduates and finds a good career if he can't progress along his original path.

Rooting for... Duke?

Sadly, UK was defeated over the weekend. Both of the teams I chose for that championship game are out of the running, so I have advanced as far as I can in bracket points.

Would you believe,though... that I am leading the ENT pool at the moment? This next weekend will probably determine who wins the bracket competition. It's between me and Dr. Jones. He's got West Virginia playing in the championship game (I had UK). This weekend, Duke plays WV. If WV wins, Dr. Jones wins. If Duke wins, I win. Guess what? I'm rooting for Duke.

I find this very ironic. One of the other doctors had a statistician do his brackets. Dr. Jones is a huge basketball fan and knows the teams really well. _I_ just like to play because it's a fun thing to do with other UK people. I mostly chose my teams based on their rankings. My Final Four were the top seeds of their regions. My brackets busted when everyone else's did. Yet, somehow, I managed to choose the right combination of lesser teams to keep me in the running.

So, I'll be waiting to see how Duke does (actually watching the game would probably jinx them). It'd be so funny to accidentally win again.

It's that time again...

This is one year I'm not certain I should run this pic, despite the giggle it gives me.

I don't watch many sports that don't directly involve a relative. One exception: ice skating at the Olympics. Not just any ice skating... it has to be at the Olympics.

The other exception: March Madness. From the pic, I think you can guess my state of residence. I began doing the bracket thing to be a 'joiner' at work, but got hooked when I accidentally won because, like everyone else, I'd put UK going all the way... but unlike everyone else, I had Syracuse go with them. UK didn't go all the way, but Syracuse did. I chose Syracuse because one of my wife's bosses went there... not because I knew much about them. I won, though, and I liked that part (especially the $$$). I've had no such luck since.

After this past weekend, though, I jumped from tenth place to third in my wife's office pool. I've been trying to figure out why, since I lost Kansas and Villanova when everyone else did. Everyone kept Ohio State in like I did (I went there for 3 years, so that was a sentimental choice, not skill). So, why?

Because I kept Duke. Most of her office had Rick Pitino beating Duke with Louisville, and I didn't. Just because they're rivals doesn't mean I underestimate them. I have them going to the Final Four, too.

They just better not beat Kentucky.

Watching What Other People Eat

One of the people on the Leaving 190-ville team (SparkPeople) likes the quote at the bottom of my messages: "The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat." I don't remember where I stole that from, but it's certainly true!

Once you're under 200 pounds, you start to approach the 'normal' range of weight (or, in many guys' cases, the 'fit' range). You can buy clothes in 'regular' stores. You may be able to give up the seat belt extender in airplanes. Your endurance increases. Your feet hurt less. Blood pressure drops. Diabetes becomes easier to control.

Then, you start trying to eat like 'normal' people too, and the days of salads and sugar-free tea go out the window. You're still trying to reach a lower weight, or are trying to eat a 'maintenance' diet, but everyone else is enjoying themselves!

You and your friends go out for pizza, and you know you better not have more than 2 pieces, preferably cheese or veggie. Your friends are going to eat at least half a pizza each. You have Sunday dinner with the family, and Mom brings out the bread and butter. While you indulge in one piece with a 'naughty' amount of low-fat oleo, everyone else is slathering the butter on and demolishing the loaf. When you visit IHOP, you mentally calculate how many calories you'll have in your other meals for the day before you order (suggestion: make this brunch and only have ONE other meal that day). At the tables around you, people are having all-you-can-eat pancakes, bacon, eggs, and hash browns. The kids' soccer team goes to DQ for a post-game treat. They order Blizzards while you have a vanilla cone or a small sundae.

And, of course, all of these foods are being washed down with gallons of sweet, delicious, evil pop. You're still trying to convince your liver that water isn't bad for it (at least I am).

Often, I can just look at these people's butts to remember that I am not the one eating the wrong amount of food. One time at IHOP, my spouse speculated that a man at a nearby table would be lucky to see his son reach adulthood. My skinnier co-workers may indulge in pizza or donuts occasionally, but I know what Spartan lives they normally lead. It sure doesn't feel that way when we're eating treats together, though! You feel like the odd person out, the one who can't do what normal people do.

I'm not surprised some dieters become food Nazis with their families and friends. It's got to drive them nuts, seeing everyone else having all the fun. Eating 'regular' foods with your family (or going to 'regular' restaurants) is also more challenging than having a fridge that ONLY contains skim milk, spinach, and skinless breast of chicken. It'd be so much easier if everyone else ate the same things you did.

I'm still trying to find that balance without going medieval on everyone else. Often, I just take smaller portions or cut out one of the sides. I split entrees with my wife or order the Happy Meal at McDonald's. It may appear abnormal, but, trust me, it's not.

Barriers to Exercise for the Overweight

I've been having an interesting conversation on Twitter with Bill Yates, MD (@wry999). He made an excellent blog post about exercise attitudes in the overweight at:

brainposts.blogspot.com/2009/12/exercise-attitudes-in-those-overweight.html

I posted a reply complimenting him on the post. I added that most obese women will not swim, even though it is one of the safest and most effective exercises for large people, because they don't want to be seen in a swimsuit.

He replied, saying that I had a good point. Did I have any suggestions for breaking through these attitudinal barriers?

I've found that classes where all the participants are large seems to help, especially if they’re in an area with little foot traffic. Exercise videos that people can do behind closed (and locked) doors also help. Our culture's shaming of the obese is not helping the problem. We often use shame as a motivator. These people often have a motivation to exercise, but their fear of public exposure and criticism is a stronger motivation to avoid it.

I didn't realize how little I care about the opinions of others until I began interacting with other people on SparkPeople.com . I was willing to do the swimming, the public walking, the struggling with weights in front of college-aged men. I even did a few sessions of hip-hop and Zumba classes with slender young things wearing official exercise clothes (I was wearing baggy shorts and old T-shirts). Most hardbodies aren't cruel, and the young men at the YMCA even cheered when I managed to get the overhead press over my head. My flat feet and weak back stopped my progress on several occasions, but never embarrassment.

I realized, as I mentioned this, that there is another barrier to exercise for large people that was not mentioned in the study Dr. Yates reviewed: most exercise videos and classes are geared to the already fit, not the beginner and/or the obese. It takes longer to learn the moves, we don’t move as quickly due to our size, and we are slamming a lot more weight on our joints than most people. Some people drop out, discouraged, while others (like me) wind up in physical therapy (I'm a three-time 'winner' in PT). I have videos on my shelf that I tried once and put away because I knew they could injure me (including one Tai Chi video that did injure me).

I've lost about 70 pounds. Most of that was done through eating less, but it was also done through walking, public swimming, strength training at home without weight machines, and Leslie Sansone/SparkPeople videos. The shaming needs to stop, and more exercise programs need to be tailored to the special risks of the obese.

I've mostly been dealing with Xmas preparations instead of writing stuff recently, but someone asked me how long I’d been writing fiction and I realized that I started shortly after reading.

I started writing when I was very young, although my first stories centered around horses (intelligent talking horses at that!). I wrote and drew the stories; an early love of mine was comic books. When I started doing comics starring humans, I began with Betty and Veronica and worked myself up to the X-men. My dream during my teenage years was to work for Marvel Comics. Instead, I got a degree in journalism.

My first forays into written print were fanfic and in conjunction with another person. My best friend from high school and I handwrote a 10,000 page saga that should have been titled, “Meet Your Favorite Prince of Amber and Boff Him”. We did another saga based on the Darkover series, but we weren’t nearly as prolific with it. Eventually I started writing on my own, and creating stories with my own characters set in my own worlds.

I started writing an occult mystery/horror novel in the early 1990s, but wasn't sure where to go after I killed off the old tycoon. I was in grad school at the time, which didn't help (although the Greek and Latin I was studying provided lots of fodder). I also met a wonderful woman who chased me until I caught her. She wrote, too, but we weren’t interested in writing when we got together.

I limited my imagination to FRP gaming for some years. Finally, with the encouragement of my wife, I ventured into short stories and got a couple published. I completed my first book (vampires!) a couple of years ago and began shopping around with agents. Didn't have much luck. I'm thinking about revising that book and attempting to sell it now, since Twilight has made the genre popular.

The book I've been working on this year is more of a suspense/thriller novel (psychologist vs. serial killer) with a dash of the supernatural. The writing has been slower than molasses and not nearly as sweet. I know the ideas are strong and the story could be a great one, but I think it hasn't gelled yet in my head.

The path from talking horse stories to serial killer novels has been a strange and twisted one, but it has been fun and it’s been my own.

Ask Nicola: give to LLF

give to LLF

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The War on Christmas: Politics or Personal Problem?

I’m still finding the identity of this blog. Yes, I write, and I post my writing updates here, but you guys probably don’t need to be barraged with repeated samples of literary solipsism. This is especially true because my writing life moves slowly.

Today, I’m going to write about something that cheeses me off: the so-called "War on Christmas" by liberals like me.

Just so you know: Yes, I’m a liberal. Screw that ‘progressive’ business; that’s for chicken liberals who came along after Nixon made the word a pejorative term. I’m a liberal raised by liberals. I’m also a Pagan. For the uninitiated, that means that I hold nature sacred and, in my case, worship pre-Xian gods. Xian=Christian, but is shorter to write. I use Xian because I'm lazy.

I've bitched at length about the pretend War on Christmas a few times on my Pagan blog, but I will give the Reader's Digest version of my views here:

Ask yourself: since when did acknowledging that other people have winter holidays equate attacking Christians? If one of your children claimed that you were attacking him every time you mentioned his brother, or used the phrase 'my children', you'd think he had a serious ego problem. Is this really that different?

December hosts several different holidays. Our government is supposed to respect the entire collage of faiths represented within its borders. It only has a limited number of options: it can celebrate every holiday, a costly proposition, celebrate no holidays, which means no special time off for anyone, OR it can use blanket recognitions like 'Happy Holidays'.

Merchants have the additional option of honoring specific holidays for specific faiths. Some do specifically recognize Xmas. Other merchants, however, don't want to miss out on Jewish money, Yule dollars, Kwanzaa cash, solstice spending, etc. Considering how our economy has slid into the crapper, though, many also opt for the 'Happy Holidays' banners. It's cheaper. And it's not meant as an insult.

Chill out. And Merry Christmas, if it applies to you.

Pulmonary Hypertension (PH)

Today is Pulmonary Hypertension Blogging Awareness Day. Sorry if this isn't a detailed enough entry, but I thought I just had to be 'aware' this month, not blog about it.

Trust me, though, I am always aware of PH. My father has it. Not only does he have it, he has it secondary to sarcoidosis, which is a rare complication of a rare disease. I always knew he was exceptional, but he should have limited himself in this regard.

What is pulmonary hypertension? It is not the 'regular' hypertension you see in the drug commercials on TV, and it can't be measured by an arm cuff. Basically, pulmonary arterial hypertension is high blood pressure in the artery that takes the blood from your heart to your lungs... you know, where it gets the oxygen your body needs. The general cause? Narrowing/blockage of that artery or in the blood vessels of the lungs. Your body WANTS that oxygen, it NEEDS it, but the pipelines are blocked. The heart pushes harder. The blood backs up and the pressure increases. Honestly, it's easier to understand if you think of it as a plumbing problem.

Consequences? Shortness of breath and feeling faint are common symptoms. You're trying to get more oxygen into your body, but the problem is really that the blood has slowed to a trickle. Your heart may try to beat its way out of your chest or you could develop chest pain at even minor exertion. Taking oxygen helps. Dad has one of those little rolly oxygen concentrators now.

Plus, EVERYTHING tires you out. You don't have that much oxygen to work with, so your energy burns out quickly. This sucks, especially if you're impatient, a workaholic, or a general Type A person. What sucks even more? Some people with PH need medication delivered directly into their hearts. They carry a pump on their person at all times, and it has a tube that literally goes INTO your body and enters your heart! What sucks the most? Eventually, the high blood pressure will damage your heart.

Dad was diagnosed with sarcoidosis when I was 16. I'd like to say that only five years had passed since then, but you've already seen my picture. At the time, they told him that he probably had 10 years to live. He made liars of them; he's still around. In 2005, he was diagnosed with PH. The pulmonologist wasn't much help: shortness of breath? That's to be expected, considering the number of granulomas (my father calls them 'granolas') in your lungs. Come back in a year. If it's worse, we'll try prednisone again.

Bull. This wasn't the shortness of breath Dad was used to. He went to a cardiologist. The cardiologist ran various tests, and then proposed a stress test. A friend's father had died of a heart attack brought on by a stress test, so I wasn't too keen on the idea, but Dad did it. Walking? He'd done that all his life, fat or thin. Soon into the test, the cardiologist stopped him. He said he wouldn't have believed it if he hadn't seen it. My father had PH. The doc had only read about it.

Most docs don't know a lot about pulmonary arterial hypertension because it's so rare. The cardiologist didn't know much. It was a pulmonary problem, so he referred Dad back to the pulmonologist. This was the same fellow who had ignored the rapid heartbeats, the chest pain, and the drowning feeling. Dad wasn't going to go back to that 'idiot'. Since I work in CME, he thought I might be able to find better information, or at least a better pulmonologist.

My father doesn't really spend a lot of time looking up his ailments. That would involve thinking about the ailments, which causes him stress. The regular world offers us enough of that. For me, though, research eases stress, even when a quick cure isn't available. I Googled medical sites like WebMD and MayoClinic.com, and learned what I could about the subject. Eventually, I found the PH Association webpage. This is a support group primarily for PH patients and their families, but they also work with healthcare professionals to provide physician education on this rare disorder.

The site is great! It has understandable information about PH and its treatment, contact information for support groups across the country, news on PH research, and reading material you can order if you need more in-depth info (for example, for people who developed PH after taking Fen-Phen). They also had information on PH specialists, and I found one my father could see.

Since that time, which was scary as hell for everyone, my father's condition seems to have stabilized. He uses oxygen, but doesn't require a Flolan pump as of this writing. The current life expectancy for PH after diagnosis is five to fifteen years; Dad is chugging along at four. Let's hope he makes liars of the doctors again.

For more information, check out the PH Association's webpage.

Monkey Dancing at Bouchercon

The first night at Bouchercon, we went to the Thursday Evening Extravaganza at Gameworks. All the games were free, plus there was music with a live D.J.

Well, I'm half Greek. You may not know this, but Greeks are compulsive dancers. Once Austin Camacho and his squeeze took the floor, I quickly followed. The evidence is below and, mercifully, quite dark. Just look for the moving stripes.

NaNoWriMo is Nearly Upon Us!

(Don't know what National Novel Writing Month is? Click on the Web badge to learn more!)

Once again, I teeter on the edge of the cliff. Last year, I entered NaNo with a good story idea and a rudimentary outline (unusual as a SEG starting maneuver). I'd even 'interviewed' two different characters to take the lead role.

It sounded good in theory, but in practice, I wrote a very small amount. I didn't even break 7500 words. I haven't even doubled that in the year since. To say that I was discouraged and disappointed in myself would be an understatement.

Here I am again, though, preparing to try another Nano with this story and these characters. Yes, it's scary. What do I have this year that I didn't have last year, besides more existential angst?

(Yes, this is a rhetorical question. I figure no one else reads this blog but me, so I might as well talk to myself).

Well, at Bouchercon (pics to follow one day), I got some encouragement. I took part in Hallie Ephron's plot-writing workshop, and she said she liked my story concept. No, I am not going to reveal it here, since we have already established that I am talking to myself, and I already know what the idea is.

I've had another year to work on backstory. Unlike my vampires, who cavorted around in my head for years before I began writing about them, I entered NaNo last year with an entirely new cast and story setting. I'm still getting to know these people.

I also got some hints and advice from people at Bouchercon. Liz Zelvin helped me figure out some questions I should be asking about my character, and several of the panels addressed my story concerns. I also had a small epiphany or two, since my subconscious spent some time stewing on the subject.

These are the positives I must remind myself about as November approaches. I will need them to get past the mental blank-out I experience when I open my manuscript.

Good fortune with your writing!

My NaNoWriMo Confession

My tale of woe: I use National Novel Writing Month to 'grow' whatever novel I'm already working on. The frenetic pace, the write-ins, and the 'shut off your inner critic' approach help a lot. Yes, I know that's against the rules, and I never claim 'victory' no matter how many words I've written unless I actually STARTED the book during NaNo.

The latter case only happened once, and I didn't win that year. Hell, I still haven't 'won' with it, and that's part of why I haven't posted here in a long time. I liked my first book, my friends liked it, some of my not-so-close friends liked it. I couldn't sell it to an agent, though. So, I came up with a NEW idea, new characters, new plot. I sat down during NaNo to work on it, and was totally blocked. It's not nearly as much fun as the first book was, and I use that term (fun) very loosely. This was when I identified a very important problem in my nature:

I'm lazy.

I view my time and effort as an investment. It's very, very hard for me to write fiction. It's like pulling teeth - the front ones, where all the nerves are. It seems like no matter how many shots the dentist gives you, you can always feel the pain. I have no problem stringing a couple of sentences together, but creating something out of nothing is a lot harder than typing words on a screen.

Writing and being unable to sell the product is a bad investment, in my -er- book. No matter how interesting and fun the character is to me, I just don't have that much lifetime left. It took me 3 years to complete my first book. I understand, from other authors, that about 7 books need to be published before the process really start paying for itself (unless you hit really big, natch). I must reiterate here that I AM LAZY. This means I'd really like to retire BEFORE I qualify for Medicare.

I could quit, I suppose, and stick with my day job. NOT writing, though, drives me nuts. Sometime in elementary school, I decided that I wanted to be a writer. That hasn't changed. NOT having a story in the works makes me feel useless and fills me with existential angst (Google it if you're that concerned). A palm reader once told me that I had a "finger with an agenda". Writing is that agenda.

If you have a suggestion for resolving this dilemma, go ahead and comment. Sympathy is also welcome (telling me I'm a whiner isn't going to be news). I wasn't expecting people out there to solve the problem for me, but I feel better for explaining it to you.

Write anyway. I plan to.

Greetings!

I've been away, but not sitting on my hands. Well, okay, SOME of the time I was sitting on my hands.

My new novel with new characters and a new angle: can we say writer's block? I knew you could. It's easier to write a story when you already know the people well. I'm still getting to know this group.

Short stories: I will probably have something in the next anthology coming out from my chapter of Sisters in Crime, but that's a bit down the road. However, I WILL have a story in the first-ever SinC Guppies anthology! My story was chosen out of a large number of submissions, so I feel very flattered. The Gups are looking for a publisher now.

In other news: I have lost nearly 70 pounds. I'm not where I want to be yet, but it's been at least 15 years since I was this slender.

I hear your wheels screeching now. Screw what she's writing, how did she lose that much weight? I did it through a combination of old school and new tech: I ate less, exercised more, and logged it all at SparkPeople.com.

Keep NaNo Going for Next Year!

Please donate to NaNoWriMo!

Even $10 can help keep National Novel Writing Month going till next year. The NaNo folks do so much more than host a web site for annual novelists; they provide NaN-based language arts curricula for young writers, even loaning out AlphaSmarts to classrooms without computers. During a time when the arts are being cut out of the schools, NNWM is helping develop new authors.

Last year, the NaNo hosts got the donations they needed and more. This year, everyone is short of money and the funds have not been forthcoming. Won't you lend a hand?

NaNoWriMo

National Novel Writing Month is upon us again.



As usual, I'm using it to kick-start my writing. This year, I started my new novel, which introduces a new character, a new city, and a very different plotline from my first novel. Writing has been slow, since I am still settling into the new characters and setting, but I have worked on it steadily through the month.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Create Fake Magazine Covers with your own picture at MagMyPic.com

It's nearly that time again...

National Novel Writing Month is almost upon us!

I've been working on other projects (including the election) for the last couple of months, but I haven't been idle on book planning. I figure this will be a great way to kickstart my second novel!

I hope I'll see some of my writing buddies there, too (hint, hint).

Save Top Five!

One of the oldest and longest-running humor sites on the Web needs your help! It need fundings to continue. I've enjoyed Top Five's lists for several years. The lists are compiled from contributions sent in from fans of the site, and proper credit is given to the snarkers. It'd be a huge loss to Internet humor for Top Five to fold.



You can click on the logo above if you'd like to buy a pixel square for $50 that will launch a popup with your chosen prose, or you can mail donations to:

TopFive
c/o Chris White
10925 Bluffside Dr., #309
Studio City, CA 91604

The Other Side of the Writer: Political Blogging

One of the political blogs I post on, BlueGrassRoots, was selected to represent Kentucky at the Democratic National Convention last month. The site is sort of like DailyKos, with people posting their diaries for others to read and review. Most of the members are Kentuckians, although not all of them are.

I had the great honor of attending the Convention as one of the reporters representing the site: media pass and everything! Twenty-three years after getting my degree in journalism, I had my first press gig.

There were three of us, so we took turns for who got which night at the Pepsi Center. I covered Tuesday night and got to see all the Hillary action. I also got a pass for the final night at Invesco Field, where I got to see Obama deliver his speech from a skybox seat! It was an experience of a lifetime.

If you would like to see my political posts in general, you can check them out at:
http://www.bluegrassroots.org/userDiary.do?personId=82

Interest or Commitment?

Well, it’s time for the rubber to hit the road.

I have spent the past six months querying agents, working on synopses until my eyes crossed, and pondering rewrites of my novel. So far, no nibbles from agents, but I need to get on with my writing. I didn’t go on hiatus entirely from writing; I’ve worked on some short stories and have done a good amount of political blogging. Political blogging is, of course, when you root out the fiction in other people’s words.

My blogging, in fact, is where I’ve been most successful this year. I was invited to a bloggers’ panel at the local university earlier this year, and I’m one of three bloggers from Kentucky who will be using a press credential at the Democratic National Convention in August. My first press gig comes twenty-three years after getting a degree in journalism! I guess I had to wait for the Internet to find my niche.

In terms of my next novel, though, I find myself in a quandary. After much deliberation and one very telling Tarot reading, I think I would be better off not taking one specific character into the novel format. Too many people are familiar with him and would attempt to take credit for any book I wrote, regardless of content. This leaves me with the following options:

1. I could write the follow-up story to All This and Family, Too and see if I could sell it alongside or separately from the original novel.

2. I could write a Bethany Howard novel sans woo-woo. I’m not certain I want to do this, though.

3. I could write a novel featuring Lana, my lesbian detective in Asheville.

4. I could write an entirely new novel with characters from scratch.

My wife and I do plan to write at least one novel together, but I believe that having separate projects will make us better writers.

Meanwhile, I need to make some decisions... because six months is long enough to take off from writing novels, and I have made a commitment to writing them.

NOW I get it!

The Bluegrass Blogger Bash!

This Friday, I am one of the invited guests at the Bluegrass Blogger Bash, which will take place in the University of Kentucky Student Center. The focus of the event is political blogging, so I was invited on the basis of my work on blogs like Bluegrass Roots and Focus on the 88th. It's not a fiction-oriented event, although there does seem to be plenty of fiction in politics. Come by, if you can!

Short Division

Only one of us will be attending Saturday's Sisters in Crime meeting: Gwen. I will be staying in Lexington to attend my Legislative District meeting and help elect party officials. This is one of my duties as a new precinct chair.

I realize that one seems hardly connected to the other, but there are some strong resemblances between mysteries and politics. They both involve alliances and secret cabals, the examination of motives, and, frequently, digging up the dirt. They used to both involve murder, too, but the politicians have been cutting back on that with the development of good forensic science.

Bilocation

Gwen and I have been presented with a conflicting schedule: the next meeting of our Sisters in Crime chapter, when we will finally get a critique of the story we wrote jointly, will be on April 12th. Unfortunately, the 12th is also the day for the KY Democratic Party Legislative District elections, a very important day for the party. County executive committees will be elected across the state.

It looks like Gwen and I will have to split up for the day: one will travel to Louisville to hear the critique, while the other stays in Lexington to participate in the elections. The one who stays will have to be the one running for the precinct committee this year. We haven't decided which one of us that will be yet. The position is very important, especially in our underrepresented area, but naturally we are both eager to learn what the group thinks of our story! It will be a difficult decision.

Due to circumstances beyond our control...

...we did not attend the ORV chapter meeting of Sisters in Crime yesterday. In fact, there was no meeting of the ORV chapter, because the place the chapter meets was closed due to the weather. Mother Nature saw fit to dump snow and copious amounts of freezing rain on Kentucky this weekend.

Some members of the group were kind enough to contact and compliment us on our first jointly written story. It'd be funny if the story we wrote together wound up in the anthology and not the ones we wrote individually.

While we were housebound, Gwen and I registered domains in our names at GoDaddy.com. Just thinking about the future, folks. I also spent some time tweaking my novel, but the majority of my Saturday was spent parked in front of crime television, watching the birds and squirrels swarm our feeder and viewing YouTube videos of baby sugar gliders.

Perhaps next month we will get further commentary on our story. Meanwhile, I really need to buckle down on other projects.

Productivity

February was a busy month for us. Gwen and I wrote a new story together from scratch for our SinC chapter's bourbon anthology, and I've spent the last few days making final revisions to my solo story for the anthology. It would be very nice if both our solo stories and the one we wrote as a team were published together.

As mentioned before, I have begun sending queries to agents about my novel. We will see if I get a nibble. Keep your fingers crossed!

Welcome...

...to all members of Sisters in Crime. This page was recently added to their list of member websites.

If you've just tuned in, let me introduce my work. I write weird stories. Some are mysteries, some concern the paranormal, and several stories combine these elements. I've written a few horror stories, but I am more comfortable with the term 'paranormal' because so many of them have humorous elements.

I finished my first novel last year, and am in the process of shipping it around to agents. I have already begun outlining its sequel, and I have a few short story projects going on as well. I am writing one of the latter in conjunction with my wife, Gwen Mayo.

Please feel free to check out a short sample of my writing on the left, plus my story in Low Down and Derby.

As I said before, welcome!

Updates

In October, our chapter of Sisters in Crime made a field trip to a gun range outside of Prospect, Kentucky. We were all trained in gun safety by a former police officer and firearms instructor, then turned loose on the range. I got the shooting part down okay, but I repeatedly loaded the bullets backwards. Yes, fine mechanical ability here. Now my fellow writers know why I usually stick to other methods of murder in my mysteries: defenestration, poisonous blossoms in salads, and strangulation by bullwhip.

Speaking of mysteries, I completed my story for next year's SinC-ORV anthology, which focuses on bourbon. It contains a few of my favorite things: Frank Sinatra, homemade candy, and garden gnomes. My character John Aleron, who previously appeared in 'Spectral Evidence', is the narrator for this story.

The best news, though: I finished my novel! Gwen also finished her novel, so we will be spending the next couple of months editing our works and looking for agents. 2008 promises to be a big year for both of us.

Happy holidays, whichever ones you celebrate!

My Visual DNA

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Still Alive.... Still Writing

Once again, real life has interfered with my blogging. The holidays were great, and I had a Happy Birthday, but since that my life has gone straight to hell. Let’s just say that 2007 appears to be the year when my wife and I have to repair (and repaint) everything.

My current project is a story for the Ohio River Valley Sisters in Crime's next anthology, which will center on another fine tradition in Kentucky: bourbon. I'm in that annoying stage where I have to pull everything together and hope it won't turn into a wad of crap. (Could I write crap? Surely not, you say, but people only get to see the things I permit them to.)

It's enough to make a writer run screaming into the night... but somehow, I eventually find my way back to the computer to do just a little more.

R.I.P. Rage Machine Books

I am sorry to report that Rage Machine books, the publisher of the Ghostbreakers series, has closed down. This means that my stories “Caldera of Trouble” and “Spectral Evidence” are currently unavailable. The world of small publishers is a cruel one, but hope springs eternal. If the series returns to print, I’ll post the new information here. In the meantime, I’ve had to shift my links.

Us at the Frankfort Book Fair

Here we are at the Frankfort Book Fair. Gwen on the left, Sarah on the right. It was a very large and well-attended event, and we did a brisk business with our anthologies.

Finally, the dust has settled

Well, NaNoWriMo is behind us, and Gwen and I were both very productive during that time. We might have been more productive in a non-election year, but our novels still got a righteous boost towards completion.

Now that the frenzy of NNWM is over, I’ve returned to my bourbon story for the next anthology of the Sisters In Crime – Ohio River Valley Chapter. We bought the ingredients for bourbon balls this past weekend, so soon life will be imitating art.

NaNo, NaNo!

Gwen and I are preparing to participate in the National Novel Writing Month for 2006. This is a great non-competition in which participants try to write a 50,000-word novel in 30 days. NaNoWriMo 2005 helped us both become more productive in our work. I wrote more words in one month than I had in the preceding 10 months!

Once again, I am listed as Kyrrdis on the site. If you're interested in starting a book with a large group of sympathizers, come join us.

Sarah

Nov. 11th: KY Book Fair

Gwen and I will be sharing the Sisters in Crime booth during the 2006 Kentucky Book Fair, which takes place November 11th in Frankfort, KY.

The fair itself is free, although some special events may cost money.

Location:

Frankfort Convention Center
405 Mero Street
Frankfort, KY 40601

Gwen and I will be working the 9 AM-11 AM shift.

Updated Information on LDD Signings, May 20-21

We will only be presenting and autographing our anthology at one branch of the Lexington Public Library tomorrow. The information on the signing is below. Light refreshments will be served!

Eagle Creek Library, May 20
1 pm to about 3 pm
101 N. Eagle Creek Drive
Lexington, KY 40509
859-231-5560

Our other date this weekend:



Brownsboro Farms, May 21 2-4 pm

Brownsboro Farms
3615 Cascade Rd
Louisville, KY 40241

We will be meeting in the community center.

Come join us!

Book Festival: Signing the Anthology

Book Festival: Sue Grafton visits!

Book Launch a great success!

Our first book signing went very well on Saturday. Everyone's friends and family showed up, and the books went like hotcakes! People were taking armfuls at a time.

From Sandra, president of our chapter:

Congratulations! We could not have had a better launch for Low Down and Derby. Both Barnes & Noble and our ORV chapter sold out of books. That is very exciting and bodes very well for future book sales.

Fourteen of the fifteen authors were present. We each had sixty seconds to give a short bio, and then, later, sixty more seconds to give a short description of our story. Several of the people there had typed statements to refer to; I'm afraid I just winged it. "I've wanted to be a writer my entire life. In fourth grade, when the teacher asked us what we wanted to be our entire lives, I said a writer... of course, I wanted to be a rock star, an actress, and a superhero, too. Some of those dreams didn't manifest."

Once we began actually signing the books, my nervousness began to fade. Gwen and I were using the pens her boss brought back to her from Africa, and mine was spear-shaped, leading to several 'lethal weapon' jokes. I did have a heart-stopping moment, though, when one of the purchasers turned out to know the Maddens!

Woman: "Are you the one who wrote this piece on the Maddens?"
Me: "Um... yeah?"
Woman: "They're friends of mine. Could you inscribe this 'To Anita and Preston'?"
Me: "Gee, I hope I didn't write anything they could sue me over."
Other writers nearby: "Bwahahahahah! What a wit!"
Me: (no reply, worriedly glancing over the article as I inscribe it)

Our next outing as authors is scheduled for April 29th at the Bluegrass Festival of Books. I hope to see some of my Lexington friends there!

Sarah G

Promo dates for Low Down and Derby

My partner and I will be promoting Low Down and Derby at the following dates and places:

April 15, 1 PM: Launch party at the Barnes & Noble on Hurstbourne Rd in Louisville
April 29, all day: Bluegrass Festival of Books, Heritage Hall, Lexington. We will be there from 3:30-5:00 PM.
May 20, 1 PM: Lexington Public Library, Eagle Creek branch
May 20, 3:30 PM: Lexington Public Library, Tates Creek branch
May 21, 2 PM: Brownsboro Farms Community Center in Louisville

Sarah Glenn

NaNoEdMo Begins!

The goal of NaNoEdMo is to log 50 hours of editing a draft of a novel, usually your own.

I don't know if I'll get all 50 hours, but I do have several edits I intend to make in this coming month.

First Promotion scheduled for Low Down and Derby

Gwen and I are scheduled for our first promotional event! We'll be attending the Festival of Books at The Lexington Center on April 29th. It looks like we'll be in good company; several of the other authors in the anthology have already agreed to attend. It's the weekend before the Derby, too, so I hope sales will be brisk.

Yippee!

Sarah G

Low Down and Derby Available for Order

Low Down and Derby, the second anthology from the Ohio River Valley chapter of Sisters in Crime, is now available for purchase from the
Independent Publishers Group.

My wife and I each have stories in the collection, due out in January.

Sarah Glenn

TGIO - NaNoWriMo

NaNoWriMo ended at midnight last night. I came nowhere near the 50K-word goal, but I broke several personal writing records.

I wrote more words in one month than I had during the preceding year. Certainly more than I'd ever written in a month before. Instead of ending the year with a fifth of my novel completed, I'm ending with a third.

It makes me wonder what I can accomplish in another year of writing, now that I know what I can do!

Sarah G

This quiz actually is sorta-kinda applicable

I normally don't post quiz results here, but "What Kind of Novel Should I Write?" seemed relevant during the NaNoWriMo month.

GOTHICS! - Deep, dark, mysterious and melodramatic.
You are drawn to write tales of the shadows and
what might lurk there. Could it be Love? Or
Madness? Anne Rice and Brahm Stoker are your
guides.

What Kind of Novel Should I Write?
brought to you by Quizilla

Strangely enough, I have never been able to get into Anne Rice.

Sarah G

Highs and Lows

As I begin my third week in the NaNoWriMo project, it's been hard to stay out of the doldrums. So much of novel writing is getting the characters from point A to point E via B, C, and D. In general, I write A and E first, then find myself forced to slog through the pesky details. Most of my activity for the past week has been answering mundane questions and setting things up for future point Es.

Where was the humor? Where were the brilliant lines I hoped to have my characters use? Wasn't this supposed to be a funny story?

Last night, though, I got to have some fun! Naturally, it involved the villains doing something stupid, and the consequences that ensued. Loud noises were made, guns were proven to be ineffective, and pants needed changing. I even got some good sarcasm going.

I hope it will restore my faith so I can get a few more thousand words written by the end of the month.

Sarah G

Milestone Reached

Last night, I reached my word goal for this year. Anything I write further on this novel will be gravy.

I've discovered that many people write a lot more than 15,000 words a year, but I really didn't know what to set the goalpost for when I started this year. Before that, I broke my years down into how many stories or articles I wrote, not the actual length of the pieces.

It also takes time to start a novel. Research, developing the cast characters, and at least some plotting has to take place before the writing begins. Then, there's the actual breaking-in process of sustained creation. It takes some getting used to, and requires patience.

I hope to write more in the coming year, but let's see how far I get by the end of this one.

Sarah

Update on the Novel

The first five chapters of my novel were well-received Saturday by Sisters in Crime. Several of them confided that they'd had misgivings about reading a lesbian vampire story, but they wound up enjoying the narrative greatly. This had the double-edged effect of making me feel good about continuing my work on the novel, but also nervous about whether I could make the rest of the story just as entertaining.

Gwen and I are continuing to plug away at the NaNoWriMo project. She's begun the book I've nagged her about for the past year, which is great. I've produced more text in the last few days than I normally set for myself in a month's time, although I had already exceeded my goal for this year. If I keep up the pace, I may participate every year till I get the book finished. It might help me ship it to a publisher before I reach retirement age!

(Just FYI: I am very conservative about the number of words I set for myself. I make generous allowances for the day job, politics, and critical reruns of favorite TV programs. House also just started up again, so I doubt I will be productive every night.)

Sarah G

OK, I Lied

But I didn't lie at the time!

My wife decided to sign up for NaNoWriMo as a spur to her own writing. She encouraged me to join, and just list the number of words I wrote from that time forwards. I decided to take her up on it.

I'm listed as Kyrrdis on the site. I probably won't upload samples of text to the site so the book companies won't think it's been published on the net.

Happy writing,

Sarah G

First Five Chapters Presented This Saturday

While I am not participating in National Novel Writing Month, I am presenting the first five chapters of my novel at the Sisters In Crime meeting this Saturday. I hope I will survive the experience.

The title of the novel is: All This and Family Too

It's a story about a lesbian vampire who moves into a gated community. 'Nuff said.

Sarah G

Book Sale!

You can now buy Ghostbreakers anthologies at a discounted rate from RageMachine!

To buy Ghostbreakers: New Horrors, click here.

To buy Ghostbreakers:The Vampire-Hunters, click here.

Barnes and Noble is now selling the Rhine Institute anthology, Mystery in Mind.

I also have some used books (including a few rare occult books) for sale at Half.com. These are part of the overflow from my personal library.

Happy reading!

Sarah Glenn

My Most Popular Article

My most popular article wasn't actually written under my given name. It was written under my Pagan name, Sophia X. Pharou. This was the pen name I used as the editor of Rainbow Wind Magazine, now sadly defunct.

The article? "Why Pagans Need to Come Out of the Broom-Closet".

I published this mini-manifesto in 1995 after seeing Newt Gingrich promise Ralph Reed that he would do everything he could to enact the Christian Coalition's "Contract With the American Family." I put the essay up on the web, and even made it into a flyer for free distribution at Pagan gatherings.

Years later, with the advent of Google, I tried putting that pen name in and got back three pages worth of responses. Most were citations of that essay.

Here's one citation on the Queer Pagan Punk pages.

Another link on the Pagans Knotwork pages.

Here, someone posts it on a bulletin board.

This is a page about adultery laws in Florida.

A page in Brazil has linked to it.

The most pervasive citing is in the Skeptic's Dictionary, but all press is good press, right? It's even multilingual: here is the same page in Greek. Here it is in German. Too bad they didn't translate the article into these languages as well.

The newest publication of the article is here, at the Pagan Institute.

I am really flattered, and proud to have written something that is still going around the net!

Blessed be,

Sarah G
aka Sophia X. Pharou